Babysitting woes :-(

rachbc

she clearly is fairly reliable in that she has your kids every week for you...I would book the sitter for your birthday and explain that she already does more than enough with the childminding after school

Sambucus_Nigra

Book a babysitter, don't tell her and then if she doesn't let you down, cancel the babysitter.

red_devil

Abbafan1972 wrote: »

Ok, I'm posting about an issue I've got with my Mom at the moment. Before you all shoot me down in flames, my Mom is not "expected" to babysit for me.

We don't go out that often, less than once a month I would say. My Mom would babysit occasionally for me if we wanted to go out for an evening. Usually I would wait for her to offer, as I didn't always like asking, but occasionally I did ask her.

A couple of years ago, I had a massive fall out with parents (not babysitting related). To save me the agro of having to approach my Mom to babysit, I began using Sitters and all was fine with that and I felt more at ease with the fact I could just book a sitter when we fancied going out, without the agro that goes with it, (although it's a bit expensive). My Mom was a bit offended that I'd got a paid babysitter, but she said that she wanted me to ask her to do it and has been doing it now and again (we still book a sitter though when we can afford it).

Fast forward a couple of years and she has a cleaning job at the nursing home where my Nan lives. I have not problem with that etc. The only problem is that it involves working weekends and early morning starts.

The reason why I'm posting is that she promises my DD's a sleepover and then says she can't because she's working etc, so they get let down. She was supposed to have them for a sleepover on the Wednesday before Xmas and then phoned me on the Weds morning to cancel due to illness. On that Weds she was going to give me our Xmas cards, but she'd already posted our cards on the Monday, so I sort of guessed she would cancel. I did ask her if that's why she'd posted our Xmas cards and she said no.

She phoned me last night and offered to babysit NYE, her words were "if I wasn't working I would babysit for you on Saturday, you know I would", but then she said she could do it, but only until 11.00, so I told her not to bother, for one, it's a bit pointless going out on NYE if you have to leave at 11.00 and not only that, everywhere round here will be tickets only and it's too late to sort anything out.

She is coming round tomorrow afternoon and I want to speak to her as it's my birthday at the end of January (I'll be 40) and obviously I want to go out. I want to find out if she would be able to commit to babysitting on the Saturday night, obviously if she can't then I'll book a sitter. But the problem is, if I go ahead and book a sitter, she will get offended and think I don't want her to do it.

I am tired of her banging on about the fact that she wants to babysit for me and I "only have to ask", but then messes me about because she's working or whatever and then gets offended if I use the sitting service.

What's the best way to approach her about this without causing an argument?

she's a mother what's her take on babysitting she must have been in the same situation. For an important event get a sitter. Re her telling the children she will have them for a sleepover then cancelling. It would be better if she didnt say anything.. Perhaps make a last minute arrangement the night before say. Too many people say they will do things then it dosent happen. Its easy to say things. Why bother unless your sure you can do them?

victory

I agree with that if your mum work hours keep changing don't let her make any sleepover plans with the kids until it is definete she can carry then through, there is nothing worse than a little one all excited that something is going to happen only for it to all change at the last minute, we often did that with our kids, wait until it was all confirmed and was going to take place and then tell the kids, saves the disappointment and iti s another way of showing them that it is truly going to happen and they can trust it to:D

ikati5

I am a granny, I work full time, I am a mum, a wife and I run a home, with the best will in the world I do not have the time or the energy to babysit..I'M 44.

I would have a chat with Mum about seeing the kids when she wants to not when she has to and leave it at that.

Abbafan1972

ikati5 wrote: »

I am a granny, I work full time, I am a mum, a wife and I run a home, with the best will in the world I do not have the time or the energy to babysit..I'M 44.

I would have a chat with Mum about seeing the kids when she wants to not when she has to and leave it at that.

Thanks for all your replies.

Wow! A granny at 44! :eek:

Spendless

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

So she should realise that and not offer and make promises that she knows she may well not be able to keep.

It's not me that that needs pointing out to. IF what I've suggested is the case and only the OP currently knows that then she should say to her mum 'I've organised a babysitter Mum cos you keep being called into work/asked to do extra shifts when I think you're going to babysit and it leaves me stuck".

MummyMummy_2

i would book something with somebody else - somebody who is reliable. rather than relying on somebody who has let you (and your children!) down before.

can i just ask how you go about finding various 'sitters'? me and my other half would love a night out but we don't know where to start looking for a 'sitter' or how we would check they were 'ok' even if we found one! creches aren't open late at night here and i don't think i've come across a child minder who has later than 6pm hours.

olibrofiz

Trying to please everyone won't work, I know.

If I had my time to do again I would go down the babysitter route. Even saying 'oh, it was last minute, didn't know if you'd be free.....oh well it's booked now, can't really cancel it.....yes, thanks, I'll keep you in mind next time'

My parents said they'd babysit anytime, and were adamant that I not use a babysitter, in fact had major strops if I even mentioned it. Each time, an hour after I'd gone on my 'night out', they'd ring me demanding I come back immediately as DD wanted me (your dad's getting stressed and you know he has a bad heart). After 5 times of this I just gave up going out.

Abbafan1972

MummyMummy wrote: »

i would book something with somebody else - somebody who is reliable. rather than relying on somebody who has let you (and your children!) down before.

can i just ask how you go about finding various 'sitters'? me and my other half would love a night out but we don't know where to start looking for a 'sitter' or how we would check they were 'ok' even if we found one! creches aren't open late at night here and i don't think i've come across a child minder who has later than 6pm hours.

We use Sitters http://www.sitters.co.uk/home.aspx

They are an agency, you have to sign up and pay a small fee every quarter. You can book online and they try your regular Sitter first. We usually get the same one, if not, we have a second choice. We usually book from 7 - 11.30pm and they are fine with that.

You can even get a sitter at short notice, but you are better ringing them in this instance. There are sitters that will do daytime slots as well, they even said on their Facebook page about the recent strike day at the end of November, they had got sitters available if you were stuck for childcare.

They are all checked out and either work in some kind of childcare in the day or are teachers/teaching assistants. We were lucky, as our usual one looked after my eldest when she was at nursery, so already knew us and our second choice sitter is a teaching assistant.

The sitting fee you pay directly to the sitter at the end of the evening.

You could also try http://www.childcare.co.uk/

Hope that helps.