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Babysitting woes :-(
Comments
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You don't do family things but you want mum to babysit?
My Mom doesn't like going out of an evening, she always prefers to stay in and watch Corrie! We used to go out with my parents to the pub etc before we had the kids. Around the year before my eldest was born (she's 10), my Dad had some kind of mental breakdown and he spends a lot of time sleeping (due to his meds I think). My Dad tends to go out on his own these days and my Mom stays home.
The last time I went out with my parents on the evening was about 3 years ago when my Dad was 60. DH stayed at home with the kids as mil wouldn't have the kids! (We weren't using sitters then).
Victory - It makes no odds to me if she babysits or not, but I don't appreciate being told repeatedly that she'll do it, then getting let down and her having a paddy when I book the sitter instead.
It would be too late to book a sitter for NYE now anyway and would most likely get a different one.Striving to clear the mortgage before it finishes in Dec 2028 - amount currently owed - £16,087.170 -
Abbafan1972 wrote: »My Mom doesn't like going out of an evening, she always prefers to stay in and watch Corrie! We used to go out with my parents to the pub etc before we had the kids..
Why don't you all go out for lunch?0 -
We've never relied on parents for regular babysitting as they are grandparents not childminders in my mind.
I know some grandparents enjoy having them and fine if it is really their choice and they make a commitment, but your mum sounds more like mine, OP, and it's probably easier all round if you make alternate arrangements.
If you want to take the softly softly approach, say you've booked a babysitter for x night out as you were about to ask her about y night instead. If she has them, you and DH can do something together or just chill out, but if she doesn't, nothing is lost. Everyone happy.
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Make the paid sitter about practicality, and let your mum be a nan to the kids rather than a sitter.
I totally agree with this. How very sensible.
I am sorry to say this, but it does actually smack of selfishness that you complain about your mum turning down babysitting because she is ill, or has to work? Would you rather she came round ill, or turned down work, because of babysitting? - It isn't as if you don't know she works shifts and it is a possibility that she may land a shift on the night you need her to babysit. It sounds like she has a lot on her plate with your dad not being 100%, working shifts, and a daughter who demands she dance to her tune.
Grandparents want to have fun with their grandkids, not feel that they are being taken for granted - many may feel that they have ''done their years of bringing up kids'' - and they have.
IMO I think she could be backing out of it because maybe you are putting your mum on the spot when you ask, and does not know how to say no without causing a problem. Next time you could, instead of demanding an answer straight away, ask her to 'let you know'. You seem amazed when family members will not do as you bid, as in your comment on post 12 ''mil wouldn't have the kids!'' - why the exclaimation mark? What is shocking about that? - Are you not used to being told ''No''?
I think you are very lucky that your mum is willing to babysit at all to be honest. Not all grandparents will.The opposite of what you know...is also true0 -
I would organise a babysitter.
When we go for something to eat which isn't that often we always take the kids. With it being a special birthday could you not take your child along, could go teatime rather than evening.0 -
I feel sorry for your mum.
She's working, helping you out & you moan abut her not babysitting everytime it suits you!
Did you ask her for xmas dinner in the end?
Pay for a babysitter. Your children. Your responsibility.Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.0 -
I feel sorry for your mum.
She's working, helping you out & you moan abut her not babysitting everytime it suits you!
Did you ask her for xmas dinner in the end?
Pay for a babysitter. Your children. Your responsibility.
I was wondering how long it would be before somebody put that.
Have any of you actually read what I've typed?
I don't expect her to do it. I have no problem with booking a babysitter. I can't put it any plainer than that.
The fact is that she encourages me to ask to babysit and gets offended when I don't ask her and book a sitter instead. But when she arranges off her own back to have them, she frequently lets me down.
No she didn't come for Xmas dinner, as I actually wanted her to come because she wanted to and not so she didn't have to cook and get a free dinner.Striving to clear the mortgage before it finishes in Dec 2028 - amount currently owed - £16,087.170 -
Ummm why is everyone attacking the OP?? As i understand it, she USES a babysitter so as NOT to use mum just for babysitting duty....and is MORE than happy with the service provided and is more than willing to PAY..... BUT mum gets narky cos she thinks she is being "shunned" and pushed aside cos mum is using the service and paying for it. Mum OFFERS to babysit and tells OP that she will do certain times/days which obviously the kids get excited about. The mum backs out at the last minute.... ok, illness is fair enough, but if there is the slightest CHANCE that work is going to affect her ability to keep her promise to babysit, then she SHOULDNT OFFER IN THE FIRST PLACE! So, OP - i too would be peeved about her doing this. If u cant rely on her, then dont!
Book a babysitter, have a nice meal out (and no, u dont HAVE to feel guilty as others have suggested that u want a special meal with ur OH - i am sure u will celebrate with ur kids too!)
:beer:Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?0 -
I totally get you but does she have 'set' shifts or is she being asked by her employer to change hours. do extra, cover for others etc? If that's the case and she needs/wants the job then I can see why she is changing her pre-arrangements with you. Infuriating as it may be when she promised you first.Abbafan1972 wrote: »The fact is that she encourages me to ask to babysit and gets offended when I don't ask her and book a sitter instead. But when she arranges off her own back to have them, she frequently lets me down.0 -
I totally get you but does she have 'set' shifts or is she being asked by her employer to change hours. do extra, cover for others etc? If that's the case and she needs/wants the job then I can see why she is changing her pre-arrangements with you. Infuriating as it may be when she promised you first.
So she should realise that and not offer and make promises that she knows she may well not be able to keep.Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?0
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