Keeping up appearances.......

HappyNow

grannyx2 wrote: »

Well done on sticking with it. Its the right idea to have goals and to stay positive, even when you feel it isn't moving as fast as you would like.

Hope you and your horse get better soon x
BFN Gx2 x

Thanks Granny. I'm going to need all the encouragement I can get this month!

I've done our budget for the month and it is not good news. In fact, this will be our worst month since January. The car bill was higher than I expected, plus the lettings agent who deals with our rented house takes fees six-monthly, and the first ones go out this month. I could manage without an agent, but it made sense to let them manage it at least for the first few months until I knew if the tenant was any good (the 'finders fee' for getting a tenant is the same amount as four month's management costs). The tenant has so far always paid the rent, but it has been late every month, so I think I will stay with the agent for a bit longer in case we need to get bossy (I find 'bossy' hard to do!!).

So, after paying the car tax/repairs and other bills I am left with a grocery budget of £60 for the month . Back to my inventive meal-planning again! Sadly I will need to raid my various 'pots' to keep us fed through the month. Still, it's better than hitting the credit cards and at leastI HAVE some pots now. I will keep spending as low as possible so I can build them back up again next month.

HappyNow

Box_of_Fluffies wrote: »

Hi HN, I think you must have started this budgetting lark at about the same time. It's been six months for me too. It must be about that time for me to work out what percentage we've paid off.

I hope the Happy Horse is feeling a little better and doesn't cost you too much money.

We did start at the same time, I remember! The Happy Horse is much the same really which is disappointing. He hasn't lost his appetite though, and is munching through the food at several £s per day!!

slowlyfading wrote: »

Well done for sticking with it - that's the hardest thing

Yes, I agree. Certain things become ingrained though and just become normal. For instance I can't even remember the last time I bought a sandwich or a coffee out and I take a packed lunch to work every day. It used to seem a real hardship making it but now it just feels weird to leave the house without my Tupperware!

Itsadogslife wrote: »

Hi Happy, hope everything is OK with you xxx

Hey Itsa, I had noticed you were back . I shall have a nosey on your diary and see what you've been up to x

HappyNow

chevalier wrote: »

Hmm how to put this.... Erm when I was at university I would get a job in the holidays to fund myself. I wouldn't have dreamed on 'borrowing' things like toiletries off my mum. I would also say that whenever I was earning I always had to pay keep, it was expected. So whilst the children are here maybe it is time to enforce some adult rules on them. You DON'T of course have to tell them about the debt. You are merely preparing them to stand on their own two feet.....
chev

Thanks Chev, food for thought and I know you're right. I suppose at 19 and 20 they really should be independent. They both have part-time jobs in their uni towns so they are supplementing their student loans, but I think they blow it on beer and take-aways - typical students! Neither of their jobs are transferable to our town but I have already suggested they look for work locally for the long holidays. I have actually spoken to them both about it (which is a first!) and said that I will provide free board and lodgings, but they have to pay for their own spending money, transport, clothes, make-up (her, not him!) and anything else other than basics. I didn't say that we are struggling, I just said that's the way it should be now they are adults. I will report back how it goes!

poohbear59 wrote: »

:j:j:jWell done on getting the debt down by 3%:j:j:j

I can't believe how much some of my family cost me so you have my sympathy. Some pay their way and contribute to the house and some still drain my finances. It is the 'little' things like running them around that seems the worst as it isn't obvious to them that they are costing you anything.
Maybe ask for a little contribution towards fuel costs? I would never ask mine for costs towarsd food etc. while they were students but extras like fuel I have done.

Yes, transport is a biggie. Master Happy has a car which he funds himself (he worked for three years before going to uni) so he's not really an issue, it's more Little Miss Happy. Part of me feels that it was my choice to live in the middle of nowhere, so I have a responsibility to drive her places - or at least to the nearest bus stop three miles away. The other alternative is to check into the costs of insuring her to drive my car, so I will ring up for a quote.

grannyx2

Hello Mrs Happy

Was thinking about you this morning wondering how you were because it felt like we hadn't spoke for ages.

As you say, at least you've got pots now, I like you would have had to rely on credit in the past to pay for any emergencies, which in turn leaves you shorter the months after.

The best thing I ever did was cut them all up and default on the lot so I couldn't be tempted any longer.

Good luck with being frugal this month, I'm sure you can do it. Do you pop onto the 11+ thread ever to see the marvellous bargains they find. Half the time I don't know what they are talking about with all the initials but enough to get the grasp. If you haven't seen it, it's here 11+ thread

Talk to you again later and hope you and Happy Horse are feeling better

BFN Gx2 x

HappyNow

Honey_Bear wrote: »

HappyNow wrote: »

We've been decorating our office room which has meant disconnecting the PC while we moved desks around/painted behind them etc. ....

We decided to use the same colour emulsion as last time because we already had almost a full tin left and we already had enough gloss paint for the windows etc.

[END QUOTE=HappyNow;53705261]

Sorry about not being able to get the technical bit of quoting someone right - this is the best I can do at the moment.

This is cheeky, but does the use of 'we' mean that there has been discussion with Mr HM about doing things on a tighter budget? I totally respect your wish not to worry him with the depth of your concerns regarding debts, but if it were me, I'd get to the stage of resenting other people apparently being profligate with money while I scrimped and saved and worked hard at stretching every penny.

Have you managed to find a half way house where you can be honest enough with him to slow the expenditure down without worrying him?

Hi Honey Bear, that's not cheeky at all, it's very relevant .

Mr Happy and I haven't actually had a formal discussion about the debts, but he has kind of felt the winds of change around the place! He has never really been a big spender; he has one hobby (unfortunately an expensive one - a form of motorsport which he does with our son) but other than that he doesn't tend to spend much. He knows I am now working to get our debts down and he is going along with it, but without knowing any of the figures involved. We have agreed a monthly budget for his hobby of £200 and he supplements that by working at weekends within his sport, which he actually enjoys so isn't a hardship to him.

When I read that back to myself it makes him seem almost child-like! He isn't, I think it's just the way that we have evolved as a couple over the years. He doesn't know much about our financial situation. It doesn't really interest or worry him, and he has always trusted me (!!) to organise the finances. Now I've told him that there is no money to play with he accepts it unquestioningly and doesn't spend. He's never been into clothes, aftershave, watches, that sort of thing, but I know the age and reliability of his car will be something we have to face up to soon.

I think things have changed over the last few months without me even realising it. If he asked me the figures now, I would tell him. Probably because I have it under control a bit now and the debts are reducing a bit at last

Honey_Bear

This will sound rediculous, but I am really pleased that you are in a position now where being honest with Mr Happy if he asks is going to be straightforward for you. I found the idea of not being able to be honest with him (and Miss and Master Happy) in the early days of your journey really worrying, for your sake. If it were me, I'd explode sooner or later if I were shouldering all the worry, but it sounds as though they've all heard the gentle wake-up call.

I know you don't want Mr Happy to worry, and that makes sense. I'm glad he loves his hobby and realistically, if the budget can be stretched so that he and Master Happy can carry on with it, even if it means you have £60 to feed everyone - those are the Happy Household's priorities. 'Nuf said.

Box_of_Fluffies

Loving the updated signature HN.

It must be a relief that Mr Happy knows you are trying to reduce debt. I know it would have driven me crazy.

Tommymax81

Hi Happy,

I have been reading through your posts and find you attitude very motivating!

You may have already answered this question but I was wondering if remortgaging would be an option for you?? It looks as though you have the equity??

TMX:rotfl:

HappyNow

Box_of_Fluffies wrote: »

It must be a relief that Mr Happy knows you are trying to reduce debt. I know it would have driven me crazy.

Honey_Bear wrote: »

This will sound rediculous, but I am really pleased that you are in a position now where being honest with Mr Happy if he asks is going to be straightforward for you. I found the idea of not being able to be honest with him (and Miss and Master Happy) in the early days of your journey really worrying, for your sake. If it were me, I'd explode sooner or later if I were shouldering all the worry, but it sounds as though they've all heard the gentle wake-up call.

I know you don't want Mr Happy to worry, and that makes sense. I'm glad he loves his hobby and realistically, if the budget can be stretched so that he and Master Happy can carry on with it, even if it means you have £60 to feed everyone - those are the Happy Household's priorities. 'Nuf said.

Hi again . I know it sounds weird, but I actually find the debt less of a burden when there is only me knows the details. Having to cope with Mr H's angst and regrets and (likely) panic would be much more stressful than just rolling up my own sleeves and getting on with it. And sharing the info wouldn't clear the debt any quicker because I have total control of all our spending anyway. If he wanted to know the details I would now tell him, so I suppose that is progress, but he probably won't ask and that suits me fine!

I know it sounds completely crazy and irresponsible that I will find £200 this month for the racing but not have enough for food!! Realistically, once the racing budget was set we were committed - entries are paid months in advance and, as Mr and Master Happy are part of a larger team, pulling out at this stage really isn't an option. They both work weekends within the sport to help fund themselves, and the sport will be Master Happy's full-time career after uni, so he needs to keep his profile up. I would even say it is more their lifestyle than their hobby. We definitely should have set the spending cap years ago, but at least we've done it now, and if their racing means the debts take longer to clear, I can live with that .

HappyNow

Tommymax81 wrote: »

Hi Happy,

I have been reading through your posts and find you attitude very motivating!

You may have already answered this question but I was wondering if remortgaging would be an option for you?? It looks as though you have the equity??

TMX:rotfl:

Hello Tommymax, thanks for reading and commenting. Actually, I've been wondering about that myself! Some of our debt that ended up on credit cards should probably have been on the mortgage in the first place - things like home improvements and our stable block. As you say, we have loads of equity in the place. We are actually on a fixed mortgage at the moment, but that ends in December and I will seek advice nearer the time because I suppose it all depends on mortgage interest rates compared to credit card rates. It would definitely make the month-to-month budget easier though. Food for thought, thanks .