Keeping up appearances.......

Honey_Bear

Welcome back Mrs Happy, I for one miss you when you don't post and I'm pretty sure that's true of everyone who reads your Diary. You didn't ask for my opinion but I'm going to say the first thing that comes to mind, which is I think you are suffering from post-holiday blues, and then some. (I used to come back feeling great and full of energy and then within a matter of days I'd feel as flat as a pancake.) And, coupled with that, Mr H's health has taken a hit, your kiddiewinks are struggling financially, one of your beloved animals is frail and the whole thing is a bit depressing. Actually, I'm afraid this should be a GP matter - depression is a bit like having a broken leg and just limping along thinking it hurts like mad but not get getting anything checked because you can't be bothered with the hassle of making an appointment and you don't want to waste her time. I don't know what age you are, but while you're considering seeing your GP have you had your hormone levels checked?

Research has shown that relying on Postive Thinking ('But Hey ...') leads to worse outcomes - formulating a strategy for dealing with problems and working through the steps required to compensate for the negatives is far more effective - like keeping a Diary which helps clarify your thoughts.

My life was transformed by a book called 59 Seconds which comprehensively debunks the highly lucrative self-help industry, written by Professor Richard Wiseman. I stopped relying on the hopeless claptrap peddled by people who want to make money out of me and started relying on my own intelligence, resourcefulness and energy. It worked.

More secret healing vibes for Mr Happy and soul-healing vibes for you.

If I've gone too far, tell me and I'll delete the post.

Honey_Bear

1. Lights out by 11.30pm five nights a week. I'm rather dreading OH coming back because my lovely new regime will fall apart, although it was 11.45 last night when I turned the light out. Wretched book - I only had a few more pages to finish it and ....
2. Maximum of five mugs of real coffee a week. Loving this new regime, but I sincerely hope that after a month of it the side effects of cutting back so hard start to diminish.
   
3. Five fruit and veg a day. Success; I picked seven massive raspberries yesterday and I have a feeling there are going to be a lot days like that for about 10 days. Good-oh; I've never grown raspberries before and they're doing really well in their pots. They need repotting though.
   
4. Get Kelpie to [STRIKE]come to call reliably[/STRIKE] stop barking inappropriatly by the end of the month. Success, in that he finally, today, ate breakfast without needing any encouragement which means he's calmer and less vocal. It'll be interesting to see how he copes with MTV Crashes which will be super-loud about 100 yards from the house from 3.00pm today. I've found a vantage point from which I can see the screen behind the control desk so I need to find out what time Little Mix is on so that I can catch some of their set.
   
5. Give myself a couple of hours every day when I don't feel guilty about not doing more. This is turning out to be one of the best things I could have decided to do if I wanted to achieve more - working fewer hours is more productive. Thinking I should be working all the time has been a mistake.
   

HappyNow

Thanks for the good wishes Dolphin and Honey . Please don't worry though, there's nothing wrong with me that a good old whine on here won't put right . I'm very lucky in that I've never suffered with depression. My default setting is 'cheery and optimistic' and other than the occasional blip that's the way I will stay!

A wise lady once quoted a memorable phrase to me, which was 'Everything feels like failure in the middle'. This month is exactly half way through the time-line of my debt-free journey - I started in December 2011, aiming to be DF in February 2019. I'd hoped the debt would be 50% gone by now, and of course it's only at 36%. Quite disappointing obviously, but the monthly reductions are higher now than they were in the early days so there's still a faint whiff of hope. And to be honest it doesn't really matter, does it, if my DFD is a few months later than planned. By Feb 2019 it will either be gone or nearly gone . So although this half-way point technically feels like a failure, it's actually a roaring success and I need to celebrate that! Where's that cake?

That doesn't alter the fact that while you two are on fire I have completely failed so far on all my July targets!! So, I have decided that I will start afresh in August, and until the end of July I am going to adopt the 'must do, should do, and would love to do' technique that Mint mentioned a couple of pages back. So today:

• I MUST phone a tree surgeon
• I SHOULD eat 5 portions of F & V
• I WOULD LOVE TO waste an hour this evening cruising a few other diaries

Honey_Bear

I nearly said the failure and middle thing yesterday but thinking about 36% not being 50% and therefore halfway, I decided that in itself would be just too depressing! You sound much more like your normal self Happy, so it's doubly good to have you back.

I love it when people know it's time to 'redecide' something when new information is presented - your revised July goals are just the ticket. Excellent system, Mint.

Honey_Bear

1. Lights out by 11.30pm five nights a week. I was right but I still managed to snick the light out at 11.30, even though OH kept his on a little bit longer.
2. Maximum of five mugs of real coffee a week. Started doing leg stretches again just in case the caffeine withdrawal is partially responsible for the cramps. I suspect it's Kelpie needing so much exercise in the early days but he's much less demanding now.
   
3. Five fruit and veg a day. Success; quite apart from all the fruit I guzzled yesterday I amanged to get onions, courgette, and mushroom into the risotto.
   
4. Get Kelpie to [STRIKE]come to call reliably[/STRIKE] stop barking inappropriatly by the end of the month. I think breakfast may be his most important meal of the day now; once he's had it he's much calmer and therefore doesn't bark at the slightest opportunity.
   
5. Give myself a couple of hours every day when I don't feel guilty about not doing more. This is turning out to be one of the best things I could have decided to do if I wanted to achieve more - working fewer hours is more productive. Thinking I should be working all the time has been a mistake. Self-imposed, guilt-driven nonsense. Good-oh. And I'm now rather good at Mahjong Titans but not good enough at it to stop playing. Perfect.
   

Dolphin1

Good to hear you sounding more positive Mrs HappyNow. I think switching to the new system for the rest of the month is a good decision. The issue with the tree is clearly stressing you out but once you make the call, you might find that it's not as big an issue as you think and might be cheaper to sort out than you expect.

Well done Mrs Honey Bear, you are doing really well with your targets. I can completely sympathise with how annoying a barking dog can be. I am currently being woken up every morning at about 5.30am by a barking dog somewhere close by. It's only a couple of barks but that's all it takes to wake me up and then I can't get back to sleep. To be honest, if we had decent double glazing, I probably wouldn't notice it so I can't really blame the dog.

Dolphin1

Update for yesterday...

1) I had a slice of cake.
2) Light off at 10.30pm.
3) Meal plan for the week already done.
4) No spends on other people.
5) Face and neck moisturised.

Honey_Bear

1. Lights out by 11.30pm five nights a week. Fail. Joined OH and some friends for their regular Thursday night pub quiz with the result that we were late to bed and without booze to knock me out I needed to unwind with a few games of Mahjong Titans.
2. Maximum of five mugs of real coffee a week. I had one at lunch yesterday; other people's real coffee is never strong enough for me but one real after going without for about 1- days was surprisingly satisfying. No caffeine hit, though, which is probably a good thing.
   
3. Five fruit and veg a day. Apricots, berries, peas. Hmm.
   
4. Get Kelpie to [STRIKE]come to call reliably[/STRIKE] stop barking inappropriatly by the end of the month. It's the 6.30am external dog barking that is the real driver behind this, Dolphin, and I think Kelpie is barking out of fear. This morning I just put my hand on his flank (he's too tired after yesterday to even get out of his basket) rather than what I've been doing and he stopped. If I do this for a few mornings I think he'll be reassured enough to just ignore it. That would be a real breakthrough.
   
5. Give myself a couple of hours every day when I don't feel guilty about not doing more. Didn't feel guilty for a single moment yesterday, so rather more than a couple of hours. Success.

How did the new regime work for you, Happy?

Dolphin1

Update for yesterday...

1) I had a chocolate mousse. I have decided that my weak time of the day is late afternoon as it's a long time from lunch (about 1pm) to dinner (about 7.30pm) so I have decided to buy some more fruit to cover this void.
2) Light off at 11.45pm so tired today.
3) Meal plan for the week already done.
4) No spends on other people.
5) Face and neck moisturised.

HappyNow

Dolphin1 wrote: »

I think switching to the new system for the rest of the month is a good decision.

Honey_Bear wrote: »

How did the new regime work for you, Happy?

Yep, a good decision and successful.
Yesterday:

• I MUST phone a tree surgeon. Spent ages choosing the one I think will be best for the job and phoned him. No reply so I left a voicemail asking for a call-back, which hasn't come yet. If he hasn't rung by Monday I will make one more call, then move onto my second choice. I feel better for getting on with it.
• I SHOULD eat five x F & V. Done. Yay!
• I WOULD LOVE TO spend an hour cruising DF diaries. I substituted this for cruising the pension forum and wrote a long post asking for advice. The replies have thrown up more questions than answers, and lots of research to do. Very helpful and knowledgeable people on there, I am impressed

Today:

• I MUST sort the recycling and drop it off at Tessies. Done
• I SHOULD have a no-spend day after being a bit sloppy this month. Done
• I WOULD LOVE TO go to Thorntons in my lunch half-hour to pick up a large free ice-cream courtesy of B*rclays Premier Banking (the free account version obv). Done - two scoops in a tub, one chocolate, the other caramel and honeycomb. :)

Not decided on tomorrow's yet. I will sleep on it. It should probably involve cleaning though!