Grrr - vent

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

The SM's children aren't the OP's father's children so they are no relation to brokenlily.

purple.sarah wrote: »

I never said they were her father's children, then they would be her half brothers or sisters. They are her step brothers or sisters, the children of her step parent.

"step·broth·er n. A son of one's stepparent."
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/stepbrother

True, purple.sarah, you didn't say they were her father's children.

What you did say, however, (and was probably the point that Mojisola was making) was they are the OP's relatives:

purple.sarah wrote: »

Actually her step mother's children are relatives, they're the OP's step brothers or sisters, even if she's not close to them.

They are not her relatives.

I have a half sister.
We have the same Mum but a different Dad.
I am related to her by blood.

The OP's Dad did not come into the lives of these ungrateful people until they were aged 9 and 11.
The OP has neither the same Mum or same Dad as this 17 and 19 year old.
The OP is not related to them i.e. they are not relatives.

ska_lover

brokenlily wrote: »

Then today I went round to my Dad's house, she wasn't there as she'd gone back overseas with the kids to see her family. I dropped off the presents I had got for everyone, as my Dad will be joining her in a couple of days. My Nan told me that her kids hadn't even bothered getting any presents or cards for anybody and that my dad's wife had had to write "from kids" on a couple of the presents that she'd bought.

Hi OP. This woman behaved very badly, to be bad mouthing you in front of people while you are there. I would have ripped her a new A hole.

Just wanted to add a quick note re the above quote. I know these teenagers are hardly 'kids' but the are both students and unless they are from a mega rich household, they will likely be struggling for money. Maybe there is more to this, than the present thing, she may have picked up on your vibes towards her kids, and whilst being lazy gobsh*ites, they are still her children - to which she knows you are negatively judging, if you see what I mean.

Teenagers are lazy, gobby etc - that is just the way a lot of them are unfortunatley.:(

esmf73

oh dear, I hope that this didn't spoil your relationship with your dad. We had something similar this year when I'd put a lot of thought into presents for my BIL and his (many) children and step children (partner 4!) and when we said we were going to deliver were told that he didn't want anything from us (in a grumpy nasty voice). Well unfortunately these presents were bought /made for them and therefore they're going to have them! So we still delivered!

When the dust has settled after christmas I'm going to write a letter to everyone saying that next year we're going back to the buy a present for £5 per person and donate to charity. The challenge is to find something thoughtful / funny for them. So I keep an eye out all year round. I would like to have a simpler christmas as I feel totally strung out after this christmas and thats due to doing everything (food, entertaining etc) despite the help that my lovely family (not immediate!) gave me. So will be proactive and save for next Christmas. No everything is not rosy in my little world, but there seem to be many people on these boards who are so cross, so I'll keep my rant to myself and scream into my pillow!!

ska_lover

Christmas is a weird old time.
I do honestly think there xmas presents to give a message to the recipient. I mean, you dont spend the same on your next door neighbour as you do, say your own mother, do you? That is a message in itself - ''you are not that important to me'' - which is obviously normal

There really are a lot of people who are cross over christmas on these forums. I can see why in some cases though. I know you shouldn't give to recieve, but I do think some people try to snidely ''make a point'' with christmas presents - i.e they are trying to say something by their choice (or not) of christmas presents they give.

I'd rather recieve nothing at all than some 99p peice of tat. I find recieving cheap and nasty presents , such as a cheap plastic purse or a perfume from the quid shop an actual insult if it is recieved by a relative or friend. What that says to me is ''I really cannot be a*rsed with you and deliberately brought you something that you would hate, just so i would have something to wrap up''.... If there is not even any thought put in to it, why bother

BitterAndTwisted

I'd be quite grateful in the end if someone behaved like that to me. Glad that they'd shown their true colours to all and in front of guests, too. Low-class behaviour from a truly low-class person. And really no need to expend any time, energy or effort at all in future as there would most certainly be no future present-buying for this foul harpy and her adult children.

I can also imagine how toe-curlingly embarrassed the Dad would have been when this happened as well. In the same position I probably wouldn't have wanted to have a row in front of other people. Only family present would have been a completely different story, however.

trillion

brokenlily wrote: »

My Dad thinks that his wife may have lashed out at me because she is in fact embarrassed over the way her own kids are.

I know that one!
My kids went for xmas lunch with their dad and his wife and got criticised for getting him a 'bigger' present than they got for her.
She was also unhappy that the cards they got them were general cards rather than ones saying 'dad and mum' or similar.
The lunch ended up with her in tears and my kids feeling like sh*t.

I turns out that of her 3 kids and 3 grandkids, she'd got two cards and one present. None of them were intending to visit and her daughter hasn't spoken to her for over a year, so it seems a bit rich for mine to be 'punished' for doing the right thing.

:mad: