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Grrr - vent
brokenlily
Posts: 81 Forumite
Just need to get this one out. I'm annoyed.
Last week it was my dad's missus's birthday (wife number three). We get on OK, but we're not close or anything. She also has 2 kids, 17 and 19. 19 year old has just gone to uni.
BF and I went round for a meal, and we were quite hard up as it was right before pay day for both of us. So, for her birthday we brought her some jars of our home made chutneys and also made her a birthday cake as a contribution to the meal. We didn't take Christmas presents at that point, as we couldn't afford to do our Christmas shop until getting paid. I had told my dad about this before we went.
Anyway she kicked up a fuss about our lack of generosity, how I hadn't bothered with her kids, and even mentioned it in front of guests, citing how we'd been on holiday (our first in 2 years) but we couldn't bring any Christmas gifts! I was so embarrassed, and livid.
Then today I went round to my Dad's house, she wasn't there as she'd gone back overseas with the kids to see her family. I dropped off the presents I had got for everyone, as my Dad will be joining her in a couple of days. My Nan told me that her kids hadn't even bothered getting any presents or cards for anybody and that my dad's wife had had to write "from kids" on a couple of the presents that she'd bought.
I'm just annoyed because of how she kicked off about how we hadn't bothered supposedly with her kids, and these "kids" one of whom is an adult and the other one nearly, cannot be bothered to even make a gesture for anybody, yet things are expected to come their way. I was brought up always even as a child to make a gesture at Christmas, home made card, small gift, and it was expected certainly when I was in my teens that I would take the initiative to do that myself. I felt angry on behalf of my dad in particular who makes so much effort with them and the pair of them are too lazy and selfish to get off their bums and do a bit of Christmas shopping. Of course, we will be expected to put up with that behaviour from them, it's one rule for one lot....grr.
Last week it was my dad's missus's birthday (wife number three). We get on OK, but we're not close or anything. She also has 2 kids, 17 and 19. 19 year old has just gone to uni.
BF and I went round for a meal, and we were quite hard up as it was right before pay day for both of us. So, for her birthday we brought her some jars of our home made chutneys and also made her a birthday cake as a contribution to the meal. We didn't take Christmas presents at that point, as we couldn't afford to do our Christmas shop until getting paid. I had told my dad about this before we went.
Anyway she kicked up a fuss about our lack of generosity, how I hadn't bothered with her kids, and even mentioned it in front of guests, citing how we'd been on holiday (our first in 2 years) but we couldn't bring any Christmas gifts! I was so embarrassed, and livid.
Then today I went round to my Dad's house, she wasn't there as she'd gone back overseas with the kids to see her family. I dropped off the presents I had got for everyone, as my Dad will be joining her in a couple of days. My Nan told me that her kids hadn't even bothered getting any presents or cards for anybody and that my dad's wife had had to write "from kids" on a couple of the presents that she'd bought.
I'm just annoyed because of how she kicked off about how we hadn't bothered supposedly with her kids, and these "kids" one of whom is an adult and the other one nearly, cannot be bothered to even make a gesture for anybody, yet things are expected to come their way. I was brought up always even as a child to make a gesture at Christmas, home made card, small gift, and it was expected certainly when I was in my teens that I would take the initiative to do that myself. I felt angry on behalf of my dad in particular who makes so much effort with them and the pair of them are too lazy and selfish to get off their bums and do a bit of Christmas shopping. Of course, we will be expected to put up with that behaviour from them, it's one rule for one lot....grr.
Car loan £4500 - paid off early July 2013
Personal loan £4000 - paid off early June 2013
Credit card debt of £400 remaining - nearly there!
Personal loan £4000 - paid off early June 2013
Credit card debt of £400 remaining - nearly there!
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Comments
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What appalling manners this person has! cant call her a lady, she isnt one! to complain in front of others about members of the family...........that isnt on! How does your dad feel about this? poor thing - I should think he is mortified!
I would maintain a dignified silence hun! but, I would from now on be buying gifts for her which I know she will dislike but SEEM suitable so she cant complain without coming across as ungrateful!
eg - buying expensive bath salts when you know she only takes showers!0 -
i would get wound up with her childish comments especially infront of people, how embarrasing and i would have said that too her as well to make her feel an inch tall and i would have walked out too, i would also only buy my dad a gift and not bother with hers or her kids.
I know how you feel ive had to do some shoppng today because of paydayand we normally see everyone else boxing day onwards.
dont worry about it but remember that for next time round id buy either nothing for her or something CHEAP! lolDs2 born 3/4/12 8lbs 8.5:j
Ds1 born 28/4/07 9lb 8 :j
Frugal, thrifty, tight mum & wife and proud of it lol
:rotfl::j
Make money for Xmas challenge 2014 £0/£2700 -
awful manners and total hypocrisy.
- DFD 4th July 2015
- MFD 1st October 2021
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How disgusting, was she drunk???
My parents get a card for their b-day, sometimes flowers. Who does she think she is she should be ashamed."If you don't feel the bumps in the road, you're not really going anywhere "
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What did your dad have to say about the little outburst as you had mentioned to him that you wouldn't be taking gifts etc
How rude!0 -
hopefully hell soon be onto wife number four and you wont have anything to do with the horrible harridan!Hi, we’ve had to remove your signature. If you’re not sure why please read the forum rules or email the forum team if you’re still unsure - MSE ForumTeam0
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Your latest SM is a bit of a drama queen. You know that. Your Dad knows that.
Don't let her silliness effect you. Shrug it off.
You made and gave reasonable and affectionate gifts at a time you were able to give them. If that does not fall in line with her thinking, she's missed the point of a 'gift'.
eda: Do you really care about her opinion?0 -
Of course, the really angry would accidentally label her presents with the name of wife No 2 or a previous girlfriend. When she remarks on this, apologise profusely with an 'I'm so sorry, I lose track of the names now there are so many....'.I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
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I dont know about you but im one of those people that WILL treat you nice if you do the same to me and if you treat me like crap infront of everyone,i'll do the same to you!
The fact that she picked on you infront of everyone really got to me! - Its not a must that you get a present for her kids too! (Whatever happened to --ITS YOUR MONEY AND YOU OWE NOTHING TO NO ONE!!)
I better not say anymore because i'll loose it on christmas day of all days.
Merry christmas....lol0 -
What did your dad have to say about the little outburst as you had mentioned to him that you wouldn't be taking gifts etc
Exactly my thought.
Why didn't he step in and tell her that you'd already told him that you would be bringing Christmas gifts at a later date?
I'd actually be pretty hacked off with him too for not putting things straight and stopping his wife from embarrassing you in front of other people.
As for his wife, I'd not buy her or her kids any gifts ever again.0
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