Grrr - vent

yvonne13_2

OP your fathers wife was bang out of order. Christmas is about family ect.

Next time get her a pair of bed socks or a hot water bottle, tee hee

I would have been grateful of the cake you made

brokenlily

Thanks for the responses. I did have a word with my Dad in private about how upset I was that she brought attention to it like that in front of guests. I think she had had a few to drink, and it helped to know that my Dad did not find it acceptable.

I wouldn't necessarily expect to receive something from the kids myself, but I was more annoyed on behalf of my Dad who has done a lot for them, been in their life for 8 years, and they couldn't even write their own card to him and left everything to their mum to do. However, this is typical of the selfish, lazy attitude of both of them to be honest. Younger has been in court for shoplifting this year, as well as a few drunk and disorderly incidents with the police. Older is at least well mannered (younger one tends to speak in streams of abuse these days) but she is lzy as hell!

My Dad thinks that his wife may have lashed out at me because she is in fact embarrassed over the way her own kids are. They live in a street where the neighbours know everything, and everyone is very "well to do" (or thinks they are) and it must be embarrassing for her that the neighbours have seen her son being brought home in a police car on more than one occasion. So, if she can find something to criticise me with, it makes her own kids seem better!

meritaten

brokenlily wrote: »

Thanks for the responses. I did have a word with my Dad in private about how upset I was that she brought attention to it like that in front of guests. I think she had had a few to drink, and it helped to know that my Dad did not find it acceptable.

I wouldn't necessarily expect to receive something from the kids myself, but I was more annoyed on behalf of my Dad who has done a lot for them, been in their life for 8 years, and they couldn't even write their own card to him and left everything to their mum to do. However, this is typical of the selfish, lazy attitude of both of them to be honest. Younger has been in court for shoplifting this year, as well as a few drunk and disorderly incidents with the police. Older is at least well mannered (younger one tends to speak in streams of abuse these days) but she is lzy as hell!

My Dad thinks that his wife may have lashed out at me because she is in fact embarrassed over the way her own kids are. They live in a street where the neighbours know everything, and everyone is very "well to do" (or thinks they are) and it must be embarrassing for her that the neighbours have seen her son being brought home in a police car on more than one occasion. So, if she can find something to criticise me with, it makes her own kids seem better!

Yes, thats all very well - BUT it doesnt excuse her having a pop at YOU in front of guests! In fact she SHOULD be setting an example of good manners - not behaving like that!

purple.sarah

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I wouldn't expect to give or receive presents from your step mother's children, who are no relatives of yours.

Actually her step mother's children are relatives, they're the OP's step brothers or sisters, even if she's not close to them.

Pollycat

brokenlily wrote: »

Thanks for the responses. I did have a word with my Dad in private about how upset I was that she brought attention to it like that in front of guests. I think she had had a few to drink, and it helped to know that my Dad did not find it acceptable.

So if he felt it was not acceptable behaviour, why didn't he stand up to her when you were being berated in front of guests and tell her so?

Imho, your Dad hasn't come out of this smelling of roses either.

red_devil

meritaten wrote: »

What appalling manners this person has! cant call her a lady, she isnt one! to complain in front of others about members of the family...........that isnt on! How does your dad feel about this? poor thing - I should think he is mortified!

I would maintain a dignified silence hun! but, I would from now on be buying gifts for her which I know she will dislike but SEEM suitable so she cant complain without coming across as ungrateful!
eg - buying expensive bath salts when you know she only takes showers!

whats the point of wasting money just tell her how you feel?

Mojisola

brokenlily wrote: »

She also has 2 kids, 17 and 19. 19 year old has just gone to uni.

brokenlily wrote: »

I was more annoyed on behalf of my Dad who has done a lot for them, been in their life for 8 years,

purple.sarah wrote: »

Actually her step mother's children are relatives, they're the OP's step brothers or sisters, even if she's not close to them.

The SM's children aren't the OP's father's children so they are no relation to brokenlily.

celyn90

brokenlily wrote: »

My Dad thinks that his wife may have lashed out at me because she is in fact embarrassed over the way her own kids are. They live in a street where the neighbours know everything, and everyone is very "well to do" (or thinks they are) and it must be embarrassing for her that the neighbours have seen her son being brought home in a police car on more than one occasion. So, if she can find something to criticise me with, it makes her own kids seem better!

I think this is quite likely, although no excuse at all for her behaviour. I have an aunt who is disappointed in her own, so seeks to bring down everyone around her with snide comments. It's terribly sad - I'm at the stage/age where I don't give a damn anymore, but it was quite hurtful when I was younger and I actually feel really sorry for her daughter - it's can't be easy being a disappointment. Upset has turned to apathetic pity over the years but it took some time to see although she was twisting the knife, she had the blade in her own hand.

I do think your Dad should have pulled her up on it though, although I understand he may just want a quiet life and some people are conflict shy. He has to live with the strops once you've gone home.

"I'm so sorry, I really thought you'd appreciate something handmade that we'd put such an effort into making" probably would have been my response at the time. I would always give something handmade in future too - it's a lovely guesture and would really hammer it home how thoughtful and well brought up you are. There is little you can do with jealous bitter people - they already know deep down you are the better person.

I like the idea of labelling with the Ex's name though that made me laugh :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

purple.sarah

Mojisola wrote: »

The SM's children aren't the OP's father's children so they are no relation to brokenlily.

I never said they were her father's children, then they would be her half brothers or sisters. They are her step brothers or sisters, the children of her step parent.

"step·broth·er n. A son of one's stepparent."
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/stepbrother

purple.sarah

Sounds like a big misunderstanding, not that this excuses her unacceptable behaviour! Has your dad explained now that you were going to bring the presents round later, as he should have said at the time? I don't think you should take passive aggressive digs, as others on this thread have suggested, but instead make sure things are out in the open.