Husband in hospital christmas day

Oldernotwiser

RacyRed wrote: »

As for the anti smoking brigade - do you drive pollution free cars? Do you run your homes on solar or wind power? If not, please look to your own habits before having a go at others. And don't say "it isn't the same" because it darned well is, we just choose to bury our heads in the sand about it for the most part. But it so much easier to have a go at those "current" social pariahs, addicted smokers, isn't it. :mad:

I suppose I'm a member of the anti smoking brigade but that's because my husband's in the later stages of emphysema and on oxygen 24/7.

There is absolutely no similarity whatsoever to driving a pollution free car or using wind turbines and it's ridiculous to suggest it. The OP may not be able to stop her husband smoking but she can certainly stop smoking herself and not assume that he'll start again as soon as he leaves hospital, nor encourage him to have an occasional cigarette whilst he's in.

Buttonmoons

Gillyx wrote: »

When I go to any of my midwife appointments I'm greeted by a group of pregnant ladies smoking at the door, it's always nice to walk through that cloud and stink by the time I get in to the hospital.

Despite the fact there are big "this is a no smoking area" signs?

I wish that was all l had seen, I saw a woman pick up heroin!! She was about ready to pop aswell.

Gillyx

Buttonmoons wrote: »

I wish that was all l had seen, I saw a woman pick up heroin!! She was about ready to pop aswell.

:eek: poor baby. Having to go through withdrawal once he/she was born It's horrid.

Seanymph

I drive a car, and have solar power - but that's irrelevant really isn't it. I still think that someone who is suffering from heart failure should be supported and encouraged to stop smoking rather than encouraged to 'sneak out' and have one.

My driving or not, the source of my homes electricity, really has no bearing on someone terminally ill who continues in the behaviour that caused the problem in the first place.

No one is saying it's easy, no one has abused the OP (or they would be moderated) but people, including myself, have opinionated that just because someone 'likes' something doesn't mean doing it unhindered is right.

Many people 'like' things - I like high sugar high fat foods - but if I indulged as much as I wanted I'd end up with diabetes.......... so I don't. I limit myself, I defer gratification, I weigh off my wants against what my body can stand and my long term health. My responsibility to myself, to my family, and to our health service for keeping myself as well as I'm able with the information I have.

I don't drink wheatgrass smoothies or anything on the other end of the scale........... but I gave up smoking 15 years ago when I was pregnant and I didn't buy the cream cakes I eyed up this morning at the supermarket.

The OP sees giving 'pleasure' to her OH as enabling his self destructive habit ............ for others to suggest that giving him pleasure in another way and encouraging not to self destruct is not 'having a go'. It's trying to enlighten.

Give him an apple. Tell him that if he eats it now it will taste of nothing - if he waits a year and doesn't smoke and buys one he will be amaazed that apples taste so strongly! It takes months for that to happen but it's worth it.

bigmomma051204

Going to avoid the smoking issue completely as others seem more than happy to exhaust that topic!

My hubby (who wasnt my hubby then) was in hospital a couple of years ago over xmas. He was in hospital for a month beforehand and then for another 2 months afterwards (after a very serious car accident which left him needing many many ops)..... He was already extremely down and depressed and xmas just rubbed salt in the wound. Nothing cheered him up if i am honest but we did take his xmas dinner in for him in the afternoon as the hospital food was disgusting (in fact between me and his mum, we were taking him a hot meal of some kind in every day the whole time he was there until he was out of traction and able to be pushed in a wheelchair to the staff canteen where the food was lovely..!) Me and my son visited him 3 times over xmas day but went home inbetween for a bit of respite away from the hospital as my son was only 3 yrs at the time. We took some xmas cards and hung some decorations where we could around his bed. We took all the xmas presents and opened them there with him. I borrowed a portable dvd player and took him some christmassy films and a top gear dvd lol. Took him lots of sweets and chocs etc.

Its not a nice experience and i probably found it as hard as he did because i felt guilty the whole time that i got to leave and he didnt

Just do what u can and make plans to do something nice when he gets home again. Ie, go for a meal or cinema or whatever!

Superbiatch

milliemonster wrote: »

As a Cardiac nurse myself who works on a coronary care unit, I can tell you that they will already be able to prescribe him nicotine patches and you will not need to take these in yourself, of course if he refuses these, he has the right to do so. He will also have had the opportunity to speak with the smoking cessation nurse specialist team for help to stop, again he has the right to refuse this.

Great advice, I work for a stop smoking service and totally agree with all you say. There may be restrictions to using patches in particular due to them increasing the heart rate but there are lots of nicotine replacement products so I'm sure there is something to suit. Have a word with the nurses on your husbands ward and explain how difficult he is finding it, I'm sure they can help.

Oh and if you can, take him a roast dinner and some happy faces to aid his recovery. You never know, if he gets on a few days ok without smoking he may decide to quit for good

Pennylane

Books, magazines, relaxation tapes and player, sugar free sweets and nice non-alcoholic drinks would all be acceptable.

I have to say I agree with those who say you both should be using this time as space to think about quitting. It really is a mugs game and, bearing in mind he has heart problems, why should the NHS be paying to help him when he's doing the worst possible thing?

My son was in hosp last year and the guy opposite him had completely clogged up arteries in his legs due to smoking. Every hour, on the hour he dragged a vacuum device (to keep his arteries open) along the ward, down 4 floors in the lift, along a series of corridors and outside the doors so that he could get his fix. He would stand right under the sign which read "This is a non smoking site, including the grounds." When he came back he stank of smoke which wasn't pleasant for other patients.

Smokers are selfish and very stupid and I say that because for many years I was both until I decided to quit. As someone else said it isn't easy but it's possible and I really think it's the least anyone can do if they are expecting the NHS to help them.

If it was my husband I'd be encouraging him and supporting him to quit. If he was a drug addict or an alcoholic would you be providing him with his "fix". Just take his fags off him and be done!;)

System

Got to say as a smoker who currently can't smoke (at home with parents..:o) nicotine patches have been a godsend! I'm even considering quitting for good

Pennylane

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Got to say as a smoker who currently can't smoke (at home with parents..:o) nicotine patches have been a godsend! I'm even considering quitting for good

I used to hate that too. I'd be counting down the minutes until I could get out and have a smoke. It is hell isn't it? There were no nicotine patches then I'm afraid. I used to get very stressed out and snappy.

I would never start smoking again because I couldn't put myself through that agony again of being somewhere where I wanted to smoke but couldn't. It is very empowering and definitely less stressful when you give up smoking.

System

Pennylane wrote: »

I used to hate that too. I'd be counting down the minutes until I could get out and have a smoke. It is hell isn't it? There were no nicotine patches then I'm afraid. I used to get very stressed out and snappy.

I would never start smoking again because I couldn't put myself through that agony again of being somewhere where I wanted to smoke but couldn't. It is very empowering and definitely less stressful when you give up smoking.

I realized that everytime i've been home for any period of time i've gotten really stressed and depressed, i realise now its was cos i was going cold turkey each time