Husband in hospital christmas day

Gillyx

margaretclare wrote: »

I make no apologies for what I wrote, and relating life histories was not done for my own pleasure. Writing such things is like tearing my own heart out, and I do it only in the hope that it will help somebody. Not the OP or some of those who've responded.

In my experience someone is only in hospital on Christmas Day if they need to be and if there is no way they can be at home. It's serious, in other words. Unless the NHS has changed a lot, no one would be in hospital on this day of the year except for a very serious reason. 'Taking him his dinner' - well, contrary to popular belief, hospital patients DO get fed even on Christmas Day, so why 'take him his dinner'?

Lots of other ways to pass the time. Books maybe? Or books to listen to? Music, as someone else has suggested?

I think it's really hard to comprehend why people would be so ignorant when it's happened to someone so close to you.

The doctors have told a close relative of mine she will die, prematurely, if she doesn't give up smoking and the amount of treatment she has had on the NHS probably amounts to hundreds of thousands of pounds, she has 5 young grandchildren, and 2 youngish sons, but still she just won't give up as "she enjoys smoking"

Although it's my relative I don't feel she should be receiving the treatment/care she is getting as she clearly doesn't care enough to do her part.

On the other hand though my Grandpa (Who I never got the chance to meet) gave up smoking the minute he had his first heart attack, but it still got him in the end, prematurely too, so would he have been better just to carry on as he was? Who knows

splishsplash

i hope your husband feels better soon, OP and I wish you both a Happy Christmas.

Have you thought about some tangy fruity sweets, some things to help keep his hands busy and some good dvds? Even if he doesn't have tv, maybe he could watch something on a laptop with headphones? Could you bring in a dongle + laptop (although wireless devices may not be allowed, depending on where he is)? Anything to divert and occupy him, really, I would've thought.

Failing that, how about a jigsaw puzzle that will fit on a tray - if he has the energy/interest? He could dabble a bit here and there and put the tray aside if he loses interest.

A Nintendo DS is an idea also - can you nab one for a few days from someone with a couple of games (I can recommend tetris, mariokart, games compendiums like boggle/monopoly/battleship/yahtzee and brain training).

I hope your Christmas goes well :xmassmile

margaretclare

Gillyx wrote: »

I think it's really hard to comprehend why people would be so ignorant when it's happened to someone so close to you.

The doctors have told a close relative of mine she will die, prematurely, if she doesn't give up smoking and the amount of treatment she has had on the NHS probably amounts to hundreds of thousands of pounds, she has 5 young grandchildren, and 2 youngish sons, but still she just won't give up as "she enjoys smoking"

Although it's my relative I don't feel she should be receiving the treatment/care she is getting as she clearly doesn't care enough to do her part.
On the other hand though my Grandpa (Who I never got the chance to meet) gave up smoking the minute he had his first heart attack, but it still got him in the end, prematurely too, so would he have been better just to carry on as he was? Who knows

I am so, so sorry, and I completely agree with you about your relative.

Your Grandpa's heart may have been badly damaged already by the time he had his first heart attack. That first attack is unpredictable. Some people do not survive long, others do. I don't know your age, but nowadays people survive with the help of treatment/surgery which may not have been available in your Grandpa's lifetime. Coronary bypass surgery, for instance, only appeared in the UK in the early 1970s - it was pioneering surgery then and has become almost commonplace since.

trolleyrun

Sorry to hear your hubby is in hospital over Christmas. It must be difficult for the both of you. I understand why you want to bring him some dinner, as hospital food isn't the best in the world. I like the radio idea with earphones for when you're not there. Maybe some magazines about something he's interested in? A ponsietta? Your company will be appreciated.

I'll go against most on this thread... Can you pop him in a wheelchair and take him outdoors for a little while (with a blanket of course)? You could give him one ciggy as a chrismas present. He's probably stressed out enough by being in hospital, and not having a ciggy will stress him even more. Bring him the electronic ciggy as well. He can use it in the toilet, lol.

Yes, it might be time for both of you to give up smoking, but I don't think now is the time to discuss it. I'm pretty sure he's being "nagged" by the medical staff about it already, so the last thing he needs is anyone else going on about it. Once he gets better and closer to leaving hospital you could bring it up. Talk to your GP about help, such as tablets or hypnotherapy. It's up to both of you to make the decision though, nobody else can tell you what to do.

I hope you have as good a Christmas as you can. Go give him a hug

Sambucus_Nigra

3v3 wrote: »

At least he has contributed to his NHS treatment with all the tax he has paid over the years on his cigarettes - unlike people who make unhealthy eating choices and the results that can cost the NHS.

I'm not getting involved in bashing the OP - but what makes you think food is tax free? Or that the people buying food are not paying tax. This is one of the most 'nonsense nonsense nonsense' arguments I've seen on here.

Gillyx

margaretclare wrote: »

I am so, so sorry, and I completely agree with you about your relative.

Your Grandpa's heart may have been badly damaged already by the time he had his first heart attack. That first attack is unpredictable. Some people do not survive long, others do. I don't know your age, but nowadays people survive with the help of treatment/surgery which may not have been available in your Grandpa's lifetime. Coronary bypass surgery, for instance, only appeared in the UK in the early 1970s - it was pioneering surgery then and has become almost commonplace since.

Oh I know, the treatment my Dad has had for heart disease on the NHS has been wonderful, and I know he changed his life style completely when he had a major heart attack at not even 50, and I'm frequently on his case, stressing how lucky he is to have a second chance, and I thank God every day that he's been given such an opportunity.

It just annoys me that some people have no part to play in the hand they are dealt, whereas others do but chose to gamble with it. That's life though isn't it

duchy

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I'm not getting involved in bashing the OP - but what makes you think food is tax free? Or that the people buying food are not paying tax. This is one of the most 'nonsense nonsense nonsense' arguments I've seen on here.

Most food IS tax (VAT) free at point of sale -supermarket, butcher etc -although if you buy a "meal" in an eating establishment-you pay VAT on it.

milliemonster

As a Cardiac nurse myself who works on a coronary care unit, I can tell you that they will already be able to prescribe him nicotine patches and you will not need to take these in yourself, of course if he refuses these, he has the right to do so. He will also have had the opportunity to speak with the smoking cessation nurse specialist team for help to stop, again he has the right to refuse this.

As regards leaving the unit for a cigarette, if he is on cardiac monitoring then this is not possible really, even if he is on telemetry (portable monitoring), he and you have to ask yourselves why he is there, does he want treatment or not? if so he needs to be guided by the advice of the nursing and medical team and if they say he should not leave the unit then he should not. If he refuses to cooperate in his determination to leave to have a smoke then he will have to sign a disclaimer that he is doing so against medical advice.

I cannot stress enough that the biggest contributor to cardiac disease is smoking, not unhealthy eating or lack of exercise, giving up is the one thing that would make a difference to his life and the state of his heart.

I am working christmas eve night shift myself and we all try to make things as festive as we can for our patients, no one wants to be in hospital over xmas, but yes of course the hospital provides a christmas dinner, although I imagine this would not be as luxurious as what he would have at home. There is no way of getting away from the fact that it is not going to be the same for you all this year, but I would try to look on this with a little bit of thinking time, his and your smoking habit have contributed significantly to the fact your christmas as a family is going to be spent at hospital this year, perhaps use this thought as a resolution to try to get yourselves healthier to reduce the chances of this happening again next year

SingleSue

It was looking like I was going to be spending this Christmas in hospital after an emergency admittance (thankfully, they decided to put off the procedure which they were due to do today,plus I told a little white lie about my pain level, so have now come home!)

The only suggestion I can make, is to make sure his loved ones visit on the day and make it as Christmassy as possible within the confines of being stuck on a ward.

It's not ideal but that would be the thing important to my heart....although it would probably have depressed me being stuck in there.

No suggestions on the smoking side of it but as an ex smoker, I can relate to it. You know you should stop, you know it is a bad idea but you just cannot stop yourself from doing it and the more you are denied by another person rather than it being your own decision, the more you want to do it.

Sambucus_Nigra

duchy wrote: »

Most food IS tax (VAT) free at point of sale -supermarket, butcher etc -although if you buy a "meal" in an eating establishment-you pay VAT on it.

Yes. Most - but not all.

To think that all people that are treated by the NHS for food induced problems have never paid tax is ludicrous at best.