Husband in hospital christmas day

BonandDom

Whoa - can every one hold thier horses:)

I think the OP was asking about how to cheer her OH up during a Christmas Day in hospital, which thankfully most of us won't have to endure.

Smoker or non smoker - we all know the risks involved.

OP - Not sure I have any useful advice, other than how about lots of silly little presents ( if you have time to go shopping). Crackers - making sure you wear the hats and try to be as cheerful as you can be in the circumstances.

Hope you have a lovely Christmas and your DH is back home with you soon.

margaretclare

I cannot believe what I've read on this thread, and I completely and absolutely agree with nzmegs and heretolearn. It has been very close to home for me, remembering my first husband.

Of course he can go for a smoke but knows it will be seriously frowned on. He doesn't drink and so ciggies and food are his pleasures.

The effects of smoking have been known for at least half a century and the effects of eating to excess are beginning to be known.

Treating someone in hospital with a heart condition who still smokes is about as daft as trying to put out a fire while adding petrol to the flames.

My first husband was like your husband. He died at 58 and his smoking habit was a contributory cause not only to his death but to a downward spiral of 20 years' ill-health before death. Even when he'd had pioneering heart surgery in the 1970s - very expensively - he still didn't stop, not even when he started to have strokes a decade later. Even in the last 18 months of his life, he didn't smoke in my presence nor indoors but I know darned well he smoked the minute I'd gone to work because there were fag-ends in the garden. But it's very true, someone will never stop this lethal habit unless they become convinced of it themselves, millions of words spoken are just wasted. Thank God my present OH stopped long ago when he developed a chest infection. He woke up one morning unable to breathe: 'It frit the life out of me' as he says, and he never smoked from that day to this. So he's still alive in his mid-70s and apart from dealing with Type 2 diabetes for the last 30 years, he's reasonably fit and healthy.

System

margaretclare wrote: »

I cannot believe what I've read on this thread, and I completely and absolutely agree with nzmegs and heretolearn. It has been very close to home for me, remembering my first husband.



The effects of smoking have been known for at least half a century and the effects of eating to excess are beginning to be known.

Treating someone in hospital with a heart condition who still smokes is about as daft as trying to put out a fire while adding petrol to the flames.

My first husband was like your husband. He died at 58 and his smoking habit was a contributory cause not only to his death but to a downward spiral of 20 years' ill-health before death. Even when he'd had pioneering heart surgery in the 1970s - very expensively - he still didn't stop, not even when he started to have strokes a decade later. Even in the last 18 months of his life, he didn't smoke in my presence nor indoors but I know darned well he smoked the minute I'd gone to work because there were fag-ends in the garden. But it's very true, someone will never stop this lethal habit unless they become convinced of it themselves, millions of words spoken are just wasted. Thank God my present OH stopped long ago when he developed a chest infection. He woke up one morning unable to breathe: 'It frit the life out of me' as he says, and he never smoked from that day to this. So he's still alive in his mid-70s and apart from dealing with Type 2 diabetes for the last 30 years, he's reasonably fit and healthy.

Apart from the life stories of your 2 husbands and their smoking habits, was there some advice in there on the OPs original question of

Has anyone any good ideas for how to make my husband's Christmas day in hospital as cheerful as possible?

?

3v3

margaretclare wrote: »

...
Treating someone in hospital with a heart condition who still smokes is about as daft as trying to put out a fire while adding petrol to the flames.

Maybe. But that wasn't what the OP asked about

Even medical staff understand the addictive qualities of nicotine (as I'm sure you do yourself, having witnessed it with your first husband). It is physically and psychologically addictive.

At least he has contributed to his NHS treatment with all the tax he has paid over the years on his cigarettes - unlike people who make unhealthy eating choices and the results that can cost the NHS.

How to make him happy on Christmas Day in hospital?
I think being there, showing you care and the ideas you have already mentioned will make his day.

p-pincher

Crackers, Tin of chocolates, , little xmas tree (these are in the £1 shop), if theres no telly does anybody have something like a DS, Ipad or PSP that you can borrow, battery operated fairy lights.

Gillyx

I love how most people baulk at the idea of alcoholics etc clogging up the NHS and receiving liver transplants but then defend people who clearly don't give a flying frig about there bodies receiving expensive treatment. It's pretty much the same thing, people not heeding advice and destroying their bodies.

On topic, do you have any children or family that would like to visit him? I'm sure seeing some familiar faces and getting some banter would help make his Christmas Day a bit more special. Maybe an Ipod or Mp3 if you could get your hands on one and put some of his favourite music onto it? I'm not sure about the food, but when my Dad was in CCU, we weren't allowed to take any food of any sort without it being vetted first, despite the fact it was his Birthday

fluffnutter

McKneff wrote: »

If he wants to have a smoke, tell him to go and have one, frowned upon or not. Im under the impression that he has only given up smoking for the duration of his hopital stay.

Great advice. When his heart gets worse and worse because his 'smokers' rights' are more important than his health, no worries! The NHS will continue to meet the cost of his irresponsible behaviour. I expect his missus will be stood by his graveside thinking 'Well, at least he enjoyed his tabs'.

motherofstudents

Sorry your husband will be in hospital over Christmas. Could you take in a small radio with headphones (for when you are not there I mean, not like my husband who would use it while pretending to listen to me !) The hospital staff will try to make it as pleasant as possible for patients but their main concern is treating them as far as your body is concerned, it is just another day. In fact it is only one day so you just make the best of it and as everyone has said, the fact you will be there is the most important thing.

rachbc

If he's not prepared to do what it takes to get well he could always have christmas at home and give his hospital bed to someone else! Why not cook him a fry up, a lovely cheese board an some roast dinner whilst your at it...

Hubby and I are both a former smokers so I do get it. I get how easy it is to make excuses and not stop and actually how once you are really committed how easy it to become smoke free.

As for cigs and food being his only pleasures cos he doesn't drink - well he needs to find some new pleasures - reading, walks, films, a hobby to do with his hands (i knitted when I stopped) - there is a whole world out that and for cigs to be his only pleasure is a bit pathetic tbh. And given that this is mse - I'm amazed that anyone can afford to smoke these days!

margaretclare

I make no apologies for what I wrote, and relating life histories was not done for my own pleasure. Writing such things is like tearing my own heart out, and I do it only in the hope that it will help somebody. Not the OP or some of those who've responded.

In my experience someone is only in hospital on Christmas Day if they need to be and if there is no way they can be at home. It's serious, in other words. Unless the NHS has changed a lot, no one would be in hospital on this day of the year except for a very serious reason. 'Taking him his dinner' - well, contrary to popular belief, hospital patients DO get fed even on Christmas Day, so why 'take him his dinner'?

Lots of other ways to pass the time. Books maybe? Or books to listen to? Music, as someone else has suggested?