Nose job.........

Person_one

Deleted_User wrote: »

Well had my first consulatation today with Transform & it went really well - I have been given the name of the 2 surgeons who operate for them so I will do my own additional research then book a consulation with a surgeon.

Gonna book consulations with the Nuffield in March when I get my bonus!

Dxxx

They really shouldn't be charging for consultations, that's not good practice really, and there's no reason why you shouldn't meet the surgeon straightaway, was it more like a sales pitch?

Meeting surgeons might not be easy at first, I found it quite hard to hear someone talk so frankly and honestly about my nose, confirming everything I'd ever thought but my friends and family had told me wasn't true! I think I was close to tears but also feeling incredibly positive when I came out, cathartic almost!

There are some forums out there dedicated to cosmetic surgery with knowledgeable posters and before and after pictures. I'd recommend finding them, but be aware that there are naturally more horror stories than you might expect as the people who are happy with their results get on with their lives rather than keep coming back to post about it!

Person_one

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I fully respect your wish to have surgery, OP - but I would say that in all my life, I have never seen anyone whose natural nose could be regarded as 'needing' to be done on the grounds of appearance alone. Maybe they are all hiding indoors, but I am fairly sure that you are a perfectly normal part of the population. Who has just met the most vile children.

But good luck with saving for the procedure and I'd love to hear from you when it's done to let us know how much better you feel!

They are hiding behind fringes mostly, keeping their heads down and trying to avoid having people look at them side on.

Its hard to imagine how it feels if you have a nose which falls within the bounds of 'normal' but you'll just have to trust me that its not pleasant to live with your most prominent facial feature being misshapen and unattractive. You become hyper aware and preoccupied, the best thing about having my surgery is that since its healed and settled and I've got used to it, I've barely thought about my nose for years.

Big nosed people are considered to be even more fundamentally unattractive than obese people really, you often hear 'but she's got such a pretty face', well big nosed people are just ugly in this society, no saving graces. They're the butt of jokes, they are the bottom of the barrel, they are fair game, they are an object of ridicule. I can't begin to tell you how differently I am treated now that I have a normal (not perfect, still not all that small, but within that normal range) nose than when I was a funny looking big nosed ugly girl.

So, please don't dismiss Dolly's experiences. This is important to her, and it can be truly life changing in a way you can't begin to imagine.

[Deleted User]

Yeah I was thinking that the consulations should be free but with the Nuffied you get to speak to a surgeon so I'm assuming the fee is for their time which is not in an operating theatre?

Im gonna look into forums & stuff.
I want to research this properly before I make a decision.

I have seen plenty of people with big noses but maybe because I'm not happy with my own I always look at other peoples!

Dxxx

QuackQuackOops

Deleted_User wrote: »

Well when its done it can take a maximum of 12-18 months to fully settle.

I am not having any negative thoughts about it - it will go well & I wont need a revision!!

PositiveMentalAttitude all the way

xxx

Now you see I dont understand that.

If youre going to have a Positive Mental Attitude why not apply that now and then you wont have to have surgery for vanity?

Person_one

QuackQuackOops wrote: »

Now you see I dont understand that.

If youre going to have a Positive Mental Attitude why not apply that now and then you wont have to have surgery for vanity?

Oh get lost.

Most people who are desperately unhappy with their appearance have surgery so they can STOP worrying about and focusing on their appearance, its very freeing.

[Deleted User]

QuackQuackOops wrote: »

Now you see I dont understand that.

If youre going to have a Positive Mental Attitude why not apply that now and then you wont have to have surgery for vanity?

Yeah cheers for you valuable input!

Dxxx

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Person_one wrote: »

So, please don't dismiss Dolly's experiences. This is important to her, and it can be truly life changing in a way you can't begin to imagine.

Oh no, I wasn't trying to dismiss her feelings. I was just saying that I honestly haven't seen anyone who actually had a nose that 'needed' to have its appearance changed. I fully support her wish to have surgery and I hope it is as lifechanging for her as you say it can be.


I'm fortunate in that, whilst I have a congenital deformity - one of my ears didn't quite form properly - it didn't ever seem to bother me. Perhaps if the other kids at school had noticed it, I would feel just as strongly about that. But even with it never being covered up, nobody ever did - and one perfectly normal ear and one with a twisted and truncated lower portion and an absent lobe is definitely something that the NHS would consider doing. Had I felt differently, I am sure I would have had surgery to try and make it look more like a regular one.

Mind you, I also have a small nose that turns up at the tip, so I was relentlessly teased about that by my family. Until my mother saw a programme that said it was actually a quite desirable shape and then she stopped talking about how misshapen it was. Or maybe she thought that going on about my 'freakish little nose' would distract from the wonky ear.


As an aside, I do tend to date men who have stronger facial features - so maybe I'm not representative of the horrible people you have both met.



Enough warbling. I'm sorry if I hurt yours or Dolly's feelings.

BitterAndTwisted

Having a deformed ear, no matter how distressing to have is not in the middle of your face, so it's not the first thing that people notice. Or, if you're the owner of a nose you'd rather not have, the first thing you think other people always notice.

Please, PLEASE pay close attention to Person-One's suggestions on the first page. It's really important that you know which professional body the surgeon belongs to. In this country it is not a requirement for a surgeon to have any specialist training in order to carry out plastic or cosmetic surgery. Some of them who work out of those flash clinics could spend their normal working lives doing varicose veins for the NHS. You absolutely need to assure yourself that you're going to put your lovely face in the hands of someone who knows what they're doing and has been doing it well for a long time.

Listen very, very carefully to what the surgeon says in the consultation. Maybe take someone with you and prepare questions to ask before you go. Be ready to accept that the end result may not be precisely what you imagine it will be. A fraction of a millimetre could make all the difference to you but may not be obvious to an interested observer and we all heal differently Doing too much in one surgery may mean that you can't go back and modify. Doing too little means you that you could.

I've had rhinoplasty myself three times things were so bad. It's much better now but it was a long journey to get here.

Person_one

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

As an aside, I do tend to date men who have stronger facial features - so maybe I'm not representative of the horrible people you have both met.



Enough warbling. I'm sorry if I hurt yours or Dolly's feelings.

My feelings weren't hurt, don't worry it takes more than that, I've heard it all! Its not even about what individuals think all that much, its the knowledge, the certainty, gained from every little clue in popular culture and society in general that you are irredeemably unattractive and undesirable.

I actually have a bit of a thing for men with big noses too, but on men they are called strong noses. The fact that they are seen as a masculine feature is another reason why its hard for women to live with them. My dad actually has a nose almost exactly like my 'original' one and it suits him well but looked awful on me.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Having a deformed ear, no matter how distressing to have is not in the middle of your face, so it's not the first thing that people notice. Or, if you're the owner of a nose you'd rather not have, the first thing you think other people always notice.

I do get that.

If I felt the same way about my ear, I'd probably be really concerned about ever being seen from the left or if face on, that they were looking at that all the time instead.

I guess most people who are that distressed by something about themselves that they consider surgery believe that it is the only thing people ever look at - whether it's being exceptionally tall, short, redhaired, large/small breasted, having freckles, crooked teeth, whatever.

I'm not saying it is unreasonable or wrong to want to have something changed. I'm fortunate in that I didn't experience the same awful things that other people have done.



I'm obviously not helping by saying not everybody thinks the same as the vile people who have picked on you or the other posters. Or by saying that I sympathise and count myself fortunate that the physical differences I have did not lead to such terrible unhappiness that you have experienced. But I meant well!

A happy ever after ending is always nice to look forward to - and I hope this thread is one of them.