My son's weight - health visitor doing my head in

meritaten

I agree with cte, unless you score 'average' on tests, the medical profession (particularly those who only know enough to be dangerous), tend to assume there is something 'wrong' with us!

I was lucky with my firstborn I had a lovely 'old fashioned' HV who on asked for advice would say 'well, what do YOU think, dear'? and work out WITH you what to do. she never imposed, never gave unwanted advice and would wax lyrical over 'your beautiful baby'! of course I was totally spoilt by her and was unprepared for the next two - all book learning and NO experience - and the bossy 'I am the one with qualifications' attitude which got right up my nose!
My mum told me to ignore them and listen to my own common sense and if really worried see the GP (who had about five kids of his own and was very helpful to new mums).
so that sage advice I will pass on to all you new mums - I managed to raise mine, I made mistakes - all parents do, but, as I now have six grandkids and my kids ask my advice - I must have done alright!

flippin36

duchy wrote: »

Well she's gone now and it's the last check so just forget about it.

HVs are so variable -I had a fabulous one when my son was small-twenty years later I can still remember her name -she visited until she felt I was fine alone -then said to me if I wanted her stop coming she would and to pop to the clinic anytime if I needed her (although if she didn't see me for a while she'd ring) she then moved on -and we got the most useless waste of space ever -she hadn't got a clue. This coincided with me having some concerns about my son's development (he was much later diagnosed with Aspergers) and I may as well have saved my breath she was so disinterested and uninformed.

I approached my HV about my sons development - I was really worried when he started playgroup as I noticed he was way behind his peers, he wasn't talking and seemed in a world of his own. She gave me a right flea in my ear and called me "one of those competitive mothers"! Because of my persistence (and the fact that I knew something wasn't right) we got a diagnosis of autism within 12 months and therefore got early intervention which I like to think is paying off now he is older. I know its not a fair on the good HV in our communities but I can't help but roll my eyes whenever anyone mentions "..the health visitor said"

BTW OP I had a tall skinny one who I worried about despite the fact she had a huge appetite and lived life at 100 mph. I now have another who is short and a rather portly figure (like his dad!) I was told he is slightly overweight and I now worry about him. Its what mums do best x.

KiKi

NDS, you're clearly a terrible mother. WHY are you not feeding him junk and biscuits and crisps and chips soaked in lard and fizzy drinks day in and day out?

You failure, you.

Air_Cooled_75

My 17 month old son is probably going to be long and lean too. He was 8lb 4oz at birth but is only 21lb (dropped down to the 9th centile) he's quite tall though. He did have bad reflux too which I think is playing up again I was speaking to the woman over the road who has 2 young kids, the school are on her back about the little girl saying she's overweight, she looks fine to me and I always she her running around or on her bike!? Am I looking forward to LO starting school or what...not to mention the lunchbox police and all the other stuff. I'm pretty sure it was a simpler life when I was a kid (admittedly 30 odd years ago now )

Armchair23

We barely saw a health visitor, two kids and maybe 6 visits in total ? So I'm bemused by this 'active engagement' and I really could have done with a lot more help.
My DD was always bumping along the bottom centiles. Always the smallest in her class.
She's now 5'9" 23 years old and of pretty average weight.
My son managed to be both in the top 2 centile and the bottom 2 centile in his first ten years, go figure.
I don't like the rather aggressive nature of one or two posters, it may be a pain in the A++e but there will be a few kids who really are in trouble and who could do with some help, and if that means some pointless interventions so be it.
The OP seems to be a completely sane and caring person who would obviously take heed of outside comments but should trust their own judgement.
Very hard to get the balance right but when it comes to kids we all have to accept a few misguided remarks if it helps out the kids who really do need the extra help.

meritaten

Armchair23 wrote: »

We barely saw a health visitor, two kids and maybe 6 visits in total ? So I'm bemused by this 'active engagement' and I really could have done with a lot more help.
My DD was always bumping along the bottom centiles. Always the smallest in her class.
She's now 5'9" 23 years old and of pretty average weight.
My son managed to be both in the top 2 centile and the bottom 2 centile in his first ten years, go figure.
I don't like the rather aggressive nature of one or two posters, it may be a pain in the A++e but there will be a few kids who really are in trouble and who could do with some help, and if that means some pointless interventions so be it.
The OP seems to be a completely sane and caring person who would obviously take heed of outside comments but should trust their own judgement.
Very hard to get the balance right but when it comes to kids we all have to accept a few misguided remarks if it helps out the kids who really do need the extra help.

you can accept misguided remarks from friends and family - but new mums tend to give more wieght to 'remarks' or advice from medical professionals. I know I did with my first child - I put her to sleep on her tummy following the 'best' medical advice.
My mum and nan were horrified! but I stuck with it and luckily my DD was the 'wriggly' type who found her own sleeping position and thrived. it was later PROVED this was WRONG advice. since then, well, I have chosen to heed my own gut instinct and ignored current medical 'fads'.