My son's weight - health visitor doing my head in

neverdespairgirl

In our local area, children get a 6th birthday assessment from the health visitor, checking motor skills, physical movement, eye sight, hearing, all sorts of things. He's had one each year since he was 2, and I think this is the last one.

The health visitor does my head in. He had it yesterday (a bit late, in 3 more days he is six and a half, but never mind).

She's obsessed with children's BMI / weight.

Isaac is now, and always has been, tall and slim for his age. A scan before he was born estimated that he would be 11lb (!!) because of his length, but in fact he was 8lb at birth.

On those damn charts in the red book children get here (maybe everywhere, I don't know) his height was always above average and his weight always below average. The stupid heath visitor seems to think that they should agree - if you are in the 80th centile for height, you should also be in the 80th centile for weight.

But it doesn't work like that! Some people are naturally tall and skinny (lucky so-and-sos) and other people are equally naturally short and wider, without being fat. Isaac takes after his Dad, who is 6 ft 1, but has a 30 inch waist. OH is also perfectly fit and healthy, he's just slim.

Isaac eats a lot, and a very healthy, mixed diet. He also runs around a lot. So he's 90th centile for height, and 20th for weight. But anyone can see he's perfectly healthy and fit.

When talking to him about why he was wearing dungarees (whcih he prefers) he explained that he doesn't like trousers because they fall down. Which they do. Because if they are long enough, they tend to be too wide at the waist.

Then she said, "doesn't your Mummy feed you?" Fortunately, my darling Isaac said, "she cooks a lot and me and Abba eat it all."

<Rant mode off>

Ms_Chocaholic

I can totally understand your rant. Rather than your the HV focussing the discussion on his height/weight, could you just steer the conversation towards "is his height and weight following the centile chart".

neverdespairgirl

I did, I said he's been on the same curves (more or less) since birth, so there shouldn't be a fuss.

I thought HVs were supposed to be worried about child obesity, not obsessing about the slim, active kids (-:

onlyroz

Does your GP have any concerns?

coolcait

Is your HV new/just learning? Might that explain the unwavering adherence to BMI/weight indicators?

I have two children. One is tall and 'slim-to-the-point-of-waistbands slipping-off'. Just like dad.

The other is short and 'stocky-enough-to-resist-scottish-gales-(aka-hurricanes-in-the-rest-of-the-world)'. Just like mum . That child prefers elasticated waistbands (just like mum), because it means that trousers are the right length, without being all wrong at the waist.

That child is a fabulous runner, and extremely fit (unlike mum )

They're both fed the same way, get the same amount of exercise (my children, my pets :eek:). They're just different. Why shouldn't they be, given that their parents are so different?! :rotfl:

I think Isaac put the health visitor in her place very nicely. Just like mum?

Seriously, please don't worry. Isaac is clearly thriving. That goes beyond charts and centiles. And I think that most experienced HVs know that.

neverdespairgirl

onlyroz wrote: »

Does your GP have any concerns?

I don't think so. But Isaac's hardly ever darkened the GP's door. He did have serious reflux as a baby, but since he turned 2, he's only been to the GP once, for antibiotics for an ear infection. The only time he's taken antibiotics.

coolcait wrote: »

Is your HV new/just learning? Might that explain the unwavering adherence to BMI/weight indicators?

I have two children. One is tall and 'slim-to-the-point-of-waistbands slipping-off'. Just like dad.

The other is short and 'stocky-enough-to-resist-scottish-gales-(aka-hurricanes-in-the-rest-of-the-world)'. Just like mum .

I think Isaac put the health visitor in her place very nicely. Just like mum?

Seriously, please don't worry. Isaac is clearly thriving. That goes beyond charts and centiles. And I think that most experienced HVs know that.

No, not that new - she's been around since Isaac was a baby, so at least 6 years. And I'd guess she's in her 50s or so. Her initial campaign was against breastfeeding, because he was too thin. But he's not breastfeeding any more, oddly enough. Just eating, a lot!

I don't have the too-skinny problem, if I'm not very careful, I put on weight quickly. But I do have a sister who went through childhood like "a long streak of fresh air" as my Granny used to put it, slightly mysteriously.

neverdespairgirl

He also added (there's my little equal opportunities boy) that "Abba cooks too and we eat that a lot".

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Why on earth are you allowing this woman to annoy you six years after most HVs are nothing more than a dimly remembered notion of a childless old bag who told you that everything you were doing was wrong and you would live to regret never listening to her wisdom?


You're a good parent, an intelligent adult. Ignore her witterings.

*Louise*

Tbh he sounds like my eldest, he's a tall gangly lad lol, always has been, even as a little kid. Eats like a flipping horse though :rotfl:

Don't let her get to you - if she starts anything, tell her straight that you are offended by her comments and your son eats perfectly well 'thank you very much.'

neverdespairgirl

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Why on earth are you allowing this woman to annoy you six years after most HVs are nothing more than a dimly remembered notion of a childless old bag who told you that everything you were doing was wrong and you would live to regret never listening to her wisdom?


You're a good parent, an intelligent adult. Ignore her witterings.

*Louise* wrote: »

Don't let her get to you - if she starts anything, tell her straight that you are offended by her comments and your son eats perfectly well 'thank you very much.'

You are both right. 90% of the time I think this. The other 10% I worry that maybe she's right and he's too thin.

I'll try to remember what my Granny said, "a mother's place is in the wrong".

BitterAndTwisted

Fatten him up. Stop giving him all that fresh fruit and veg and force-feed him snacks, fast-food and fizzy drinks. You know it makes sense.