Am I devious?

sorcerer

I found out the hard way that when people think you have money, suddenly they become very jealous, and start having a go for no reason other than being jealous they you have more money than them.
I found it best to say nothing these days.

longleggedhair

sorcerer wrote: »

I found out the hard way that when people think you have money, suddenly they become very jealous, and start having a go for no reason other than being jealous they you have more money than them.
I found it best to say nothing these days.

Yes agree,best to keep it quiet. What the eye dont see and all that!

Steel_2

Debbie_A wrote: »

I think folks around us wonder how on earth we can afford it when our car is clapped out. But we can afford it because our car is clapped out.

That sums it up for me.

I have an old mid 1990s car, I wear the same cardigan to work every day and get my books from the library instead of buying them. Those are only three of the many conscious choices I have made to ensure I have money to spend on things or save money for things that really matter to me. I don't feel deprived or hard done by. I feel very lucky that I can make those choices and be satisfied with the outcomes.

But it surprises me that people don't see that. The person at work who keeps making the snide 'deep pocket' remarks about me has a boat that costs him a fortune in mooring fees and repair bills and that rarely works so he doesn't go out in it. That's his decision to own that boat and spend the money on it, but it doesn't bring him pleasure at all and he is always scratching for money. The office went to the pub one lunchtime recently and he bought himself a coke as it was 'all he could afford' and was so outraged at what he was charged he stole two glasses on the way out to 'make up for it'.

The person at work who points people towards me when money is needed for something always has new clothes, shoes, handbags etc yet is in her 60s and moans that she has no money and was never lucky enough to own her own home and still has to rent.

Even my parents are always urging me to take out loans to get things done quicker in the house rather than save, and have actively poo-pooed hubby and I for chunking down as much money for our retirement as possible telling us to live off the state pension instead as it is 'free'.

Sometimes I feel incredibly depressed and sad at what goes on around me. I wonder if I would be happier without anyone but hubby in my life. The only like minded people I have ever found are on this forum.

gadgetmind

Steel wrote: »

Even my parents are always urging me to take out loans to get things done quicker in the house rather than save, and have actively poo-pooed hubby and I for chunking down as much money for our retirement as possible telling us to live off the state pension instead as it is 'free'.

People need advice like that about as much as they need a hole in the head.

I'm also an "old clothes and pushbike" type of person, but am saving hard for retirement. Even in retirement, when I hopefully have a good and sustainable income, I'm afraid that I might occasionally be tempted to let those who've blown it all as they've gone along know that actually, no, money isn't a constant worry for me, and actually I can afford to eat well and go on holiday.

principa

I've found on occasion that if people reappraise my wealth (either upwards or downwards), from that point on they will act differently in my company, so I see how much or little I disclose as being part of managing my friendships.

GeorgeHowell

Every has their own definition of a "small fortune". But let's say for the sake of discussion that it comprises enough to buy an average domestic property outright. Even in the Midlands (Warwickshire), which has been mentioned above, £70,000 would not even buy an average one-bedroom property. £70K might seem a great deal to the f e c kless, constantly sweating on the next Giro, but it's certainly not enough to obligate it's owner to go splashing it about on every Tom, !!!!!! & Harry who comes on the scrounge.

I think accusations that the author of this thread is being "tight" are way out of line. Keeping one's financial affairs private does not equate with being tight. If he chooses to live a relatively modest lifestyle and to keep that nest-egg intact until, and unless, he wants or need, to use some of it, then that's not being tight. In my book it's being prudent.

Bring everyone down to the lowest common denominator in the interest of "equality", as no doubt some here would advocate, and you end up with something like North Korea. But isn't it funny how in those outfits there's always a ruling class that lives the life of Riley, whilst the mass of the population sub-exists in penury or even starvation. Peddling Marxist claptrap makes some individuals feel better about themselves, but it has no place in the real world of the 21st century.

Most negative human behaviour is driven by one or more of :- greed, fear, lust, egotism, and envy. I think we have seen quite a bit of the latter on this thread.

elantan

i dont think your wrong at all ... and to be honest although we are a good few years away i have already started thinking about how we will deal with telling or not telling people that we are mortgage free ,

we have several friends that keep upping their mortgages or transferring them to interest only , and when they hear what we pay to ours they say oh no i would never do that i'll pay mine on the never never and keep taking money out of it ... they have alot of the finer things in life that we go without and i am happy for them ... but i am very very aware that when we become debt free ( i class the mortgage as debt as well) we will have comments made, questions asked and the inevitable people looking for money

shadydaz

Me and the old doll are extreme opposites when it comes to money. She is, for want of a better description, "a gambling blagger who is always skint" (I love her of course, but that is me trying to be polite), and always has a financial crisis to overcome. I have an OK job and am pretty watertight with the finances. A couple of years ago things came to a head when I finished paying off my debts and got our finances in order once and for all (thanks to this forum no less), I coud see the £ signs in her eyes.... I told her straight; I will always be there and want to have a good relationship and I will help her with anything except borrowing/loaning/giving her money.

Even though she has tried it on once or twice, I have reminded her of my stance and TBH things have never been better between us. This doesn't mean BTW that I don't treat her occasionally to gifts etc! She knows my family come first and that we do have a few bob over at the end of the month, but that doesn't mean it it's hers by right. I do get it rammed down my throat accasionally when she puts herself under extreme financial pressure but it's water off a ducks back these days, she is 50 plus years old, she should have learned some lessons by now.

I guess there are two ways to approach it... don't tell anyone your of financial security but make sure you can back it up with your lifestyle choices, or be comfortable in the choices you make when telling what to whom and not be guilted into other peoples finanacial problems when compared to your financial stability. It would be pretty to tell the family we are always skint when we have two cars and full sky HD etc. People would know that you are just FOS.

I do love my mum, but it doesn't mean I have to agree with everything she does.

Daz.

kittiej

Good for you being able to save so much, I wish I could but having a husband is an expensive hobby

Ifts

Its good to have some savings put by if you can, money is not the answer to everything but it sure does help knowing that you have some tucked away.

There will be some that are envious of you if they know you have it, but they are probably the same types that spend their wage cheque before they even get it, usually on things they want rather than need.
Some people don't live within their means, and get into debt by having the latest gadgets as soon as they come out, fashion/label victims. The very same people then moan when they have no money.

I was reading this article earlier that reminded me of this thread: http://monevator.com/2011/09/27/big-savings-quality-of-life/