Am I devious?

StevieJ

Nowt wrong with short arms, deep pockets syndrome, ask a Yorkie Just remember it is Christmas and that Sally Army donation would be a kind thought.

gadgetmind

StevieJ wrote: »

Just remember it is Christmas and that Sally Army donation would be a kind thought.

I only donate to non-religious organisations of which there are many.

ses6jwg

There is a fine line between being seen as "careful with money" and " a tightarse who doesn't have any fun".

LittleJo

Gadgetmind,
I am also deeply irreligious, but seeing what ths Salvation Army achieve with what they get and how little goes in administration makes them my choice for a donation.
Jo

jh2009

As long as you're not tight, and pay you're way in things like rounds, don't act dishonestly (eg benefits), then its in no way devious. Your income/savings/investments are your own business.

I've a friend who won several hundred thousand pounds on the lottery and he made it public. He had several friends asking for loans for holidays, investment opportunities, etc, simply as they knew he had money. I've also heard lots of armchair experts discuss how they would spend his money. When he does things he used to do (like walk across a road away from a railway station to save 20p on a mars bar) people joke how much cash he has!

Whereas with someone like you, they would never know and won't expect anything of you.

StevieJ

jh2009 wrote: »

As long as you're not tight, and pay you're way in things like rounds, don't act dishonestly (eg benefits), then its in no way devious. Your income/savings/investments are your own business.

I've a friend who won several hundred thousand pounds on the lottery and he made it public. He had several friends asking for loans for holidays, investment opportunities, etc, simply as they knew he had money. .

People like this are the lowest form of animal life

MummyMummy_2

why are you devious? don't be silly! what you tell people about your finances is entirely your choice! if you were telling people you have no money and they were giving you food/money etc to help you out then that's so wrong! but if you are just living your life being careful with your money but keeping that to yourself then whatever, carry on!

we have enough money to live (not enough money to put aside anything haha but we have enough to live!) and when clients moan about not having enough money for their council rent or council tax (but can afford to have their beauty treatments done... of course!) i moan with them! 'ohhh i know what you mean! it never ends with kids does it?? and the list of what they want gets longer and longer doesn't it!' or 'oh god i knooow... you just can't keep up with the ever rising prices of your bills can you?? more going out than what's coming in!' it's just what you do isn't it... you empathise with people and their troubles. i don't say i'm devious, i just see it as i'm showing people i'm no better than they are in these tough times. obviously i'm better off than somebody who is in arrears for council tax and rent but they don't need to know that. nobody needs to hear people flaunting their bill-less-ness/savings right now when people are struggling and loosing their jobs left right and center!

x

GeorgeHowell

£60K-70K is these days by no means enough to go splashing it about willy nilly. There may be a case for the few people who literally have more than they can possibly know what to do with (and that means the super wealthy) to be generous. But even then why should they subsidise the lifestyle of others who aspire to more than they can afford ? If they have friends or relatives who are on really hard times through no fault of their own, then arguably they should lend a hand. But anyone on the earhole for money for holidays, luxuries etc should be told to go take a running jump. If this country could learn to live within its means, and not aspire to the Hello Magazine lifestyle, then it would in reality be a lot better off.

Steel_2

You're not devious.

But from my experience I wouldn't mention it.

I'm not as flush as you, but I earn a reasonable amount and live naturally frugally due to my upbringing. My husband is the same. We have no kids but lots of hobbies, of which one of his is restoring classic cars.

Lately we've had to spend a lot of money on our property fixing the heating system, installing some decent storage, getting the driveway done and also rebuilding a car on the side. I also like to give to charities and have helped out quite a bit at the work ones. All of this comes out of savings, which we routinely have gone without to build up to the necessary amounts we needed.

However, over the last few months I have taken to moaning about how much everything is and occassionally proclaiming "well, back to being skint again" when a big bill comes in even though it's not true.

Why?

Because people at work and in the family started noticing about a year ago we were improving things around the house, making charitable donations and started making comments about how 'deep' my pockets must be. Or when someone needs money for something they point to me and say "she's got loads." Or how about pointing out with all the money I have (they know how much I earn as the ad for my job was in the paper) why do I bring my lunch in when I could buy it from the M&S van. It just gets silly.

And not only have people tried to tap me for a loan, but they've also tried to tap me for my credit record to act as a guarantor for them or in one case be a company director so they could get the credit facilties for their business that the bank had turned them down for.

To be honest I'm sick of lying and want to shout at people "who's bloody fault is it you can't afford to pay your gas bill?" when I've seen them prance through the office the week before in £150 new boots. Or listen to the moaning about how they had to put their DVD shop on a credit card. Or be turned down for credit facilities because of how bad their credit, both perosnal and business, actually is!

Hell is other people sometimes. I won't be rid of this now until I leave for another job, where I will keep everyone at arms length and tell them nothing.

P.S. Agree about the Sally Army by the way.

Debbie_A_3

No, you're not being devous at all. Just being sensible. If you live within your means then the annual excess can only accumulate.


Three points that I would add:

1. Don't make out that you have no money. No problem to make sympathetic noises, but just don't mention your own situation. If you pretend that you have no capital then it will be embarrassing if you are ever "outed"

2. In my experience people will judge your wealth by how much you spend. So if you run a 16-year old car (like we do), buy short-dated food that has been reduced in price (like we do), keep the thermostat down at 18C (like we do), never visit Starbucks (...) take sandwiches to work (...) then people will assume that you are stony-broke. (And re-using value-bread bags to wrap your sandwiches seals the deal). Which is just crazy. It is those who keep replacing their cars, buy full price food, have the house at 23C, stop off at Starbucks and eat from the canteen who will have no money left. But the world doesn't see it like that.

3. Do be generous to yourself and others. It is great to live within your means, but better to live well within it so that you can be generous to those who need it more than you. Select some charities and give regularly by standing order (not forgetting to gift-aid it). Also have SOMETHING extravagent that you like doing that you can splash out on every now and again. For us it is long-haul holidays. I think folks around us wonder how on earth we can afford it when our car is clapped out. But we can afford it because our car is clapped out.

Debbie