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Would you go ?

Crisp_£_note
Crisp_£_note Posts: 1,525 Forumite
edited 14 December 2011 at 4:51PM in Marriage, relationships & families
Hi I have a bit of a dilema about a Christmas party this coming weekend and not sure whether to go or not.

Its a meal at a resteraunt and its with some 'friends' from a group I have belonged to for over a year.

Sadly the group has just had to close for good and so this is an opportunity to see everyone for the last time, swap contact numbers and have closure and a laugh I suppose.

The table was booked by our group leader back in November, it was booked for 40 people to allow us all to bring partners and children if necesary which is more than enough considering there were only 15 - 20 of us in the group by then.

There have been contradicting messages from the resteraunt staff ever since the booking was made, some of us were being turned away as it was full, others were being told our seats had to be booked direct from the group leader and we couldnt book under her surname (as usual 'party bookings' would).

Then there is the meal itself, first of all we were told it was ok to choose on the night from the menu. Then it changed to we had to choose from the set menu on the night and lately its been we have to choose in advance from the set menu.

We were meant to pay a £5 deposit per person but as I said the resteraunt wouldnt take our money.

It has got to the stage now which is so confusing nobody knows what is what, not even the resteraunt it seems who "are fed up of the booking!".

Anyway I was going with another group member and last week she phoned and tried to add the 2 of us to the booking and was told she cant as it has to be done direct via the group leader.

So my friend rang and left a message with the group leader asking her to ring the resteraunt and book a place for both of us. After a few days she hadnt heared back from the group leader so txt her to ask again and no reply as of yet.

I text the group leader myself last weekend to say we were both still having issues adding our names to the booking and would she be kind enough to call them up and do it for us. I also then asked that she contact either me or my friend to let us know she had done this.

As of today neither of us have heared back from the group leader still and the booking is this Saturday night. Were not even sure if its 7, 730 or 8pm start!

We havent paid any deposits, chosen from a menu or anything still.

My friend has now decided to pull out and has made other arrangements.

I however am sat here not really wanting to go anymore either but feel obliged as I entered the Secret Santa and know someone has therefore got me a gift to the value of £5. I still have to get mine though and will do, but have no way of passing it on if I dont go.

Aside from this another member of the group has paid for a thank you gift for the leader from all of us and we now all owe him £3 each reimbursment.

This in itself is a bit of a mess too as he had the idea the week before the group closed. However didnt get a chance to speak to everyone about it so asked me in the car park before we left if I would contact everyone to ask if they would be happy to donate £5 each to the thankyou fund and he would get the gift. I text the only 6 people I have contacts for and got 2 replies back saying yes ok they would bring the money the following week and discreetly hand it to X in an envelope looking like a christmas card.

Well a week later the leader txt us all on the day before the final group meeting to say there would be no group. Infact she canceled the last 3 meetings altogether so we have not met up since.

Ive had several phone calls from X about the thank you gift, the last but one was to say he didnt know whether to get it or not as has had no reply from anyone about the money, the last one was to say he had bought the gift and everyone could reimbuse him on the weekend. So I called him back to let him know I have done all I can and will leave it up to him with what he does with his purchase, but am sure people can find an extra £3 at the meal to reimburse him, (even if its 1 drink less they have to have). After all I hadnt agreed to help with anything as someone else had. Yet its me who has done all the work.

I got a final call back from X to say "Thank you for my efforts!", but they sounded rather grumpy not thankful at all.

It annoys me though as he told another member who was meant to sort this out with him but they appear to have wiped their hands of it and dumped the problem onto me, got a message from them saying X has been trying to contact me about the thank you gift would I call him to give him an update (yet I have kept themselves up to date so why they couldnt do it I dont understand).

The resteraunt is about 20 miles away so thats petrol, and the meal will cost around £20 a head. I have to take my hubby now my friend isnt going as I dont drive.

I feel as if I am going to turn up at the resteraunt and not eat as havent booked. Then theres the blame on me cos nobody knew they had to pay X £3 (more money for them all to find attitude).

If it wernt for the secret santa I wouldnt bother going.And its not cos I want the gift its the cost to the other person and the person I am getting for wouldnt get one.


I can easily pay my £3 to X as I will just drop it through letterbox in an envelope, as he is localish judging by phone number, if I can find out where he lives.

The leader has set up monthly workshops in the new year instead of the weekly group but they are no longer local and I would have to travel miles. At first I said I would go but now I am going to say I cant as I cant afford the workshop on top of the travel for the sake of 4 hour workshop, so will have to keep in touch, I know none of it is the leaders fault but I do wonder why she hasnt got back to me is there a subtle hint its goodbye?!

So with all this in mind would you go?! It feels awkward either way its a shambles!

Thanks.
Failure is only someone elses judgement.
Without change there would be no butterflies.
If its important to you, you'll find a way - if not, you'll find an excuse ! ~ Easy to say when you take money out of the equation!
«13

Comments

  • Caroline_a
    Caroline_a Posts: 4,071 Forumite
    Very confused with so much detail, but probably I wouldn't go.
  • I'd email the organiser and say 'what's the crack? Am I coming or not?'. And leave it at that. Hopefully, they may not get the email and thus not respond in time.
    If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.
  • Lotus-eater
    Lotus-eater Posts: 10,792 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Wow that's confusing tbh. I wouldn't go, but then I don't know how you know to go anyway.
    Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
  • Any
    Any Posts: 7,959 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    ??
    What a weird style of booking?
    It is usually the company (group leader) who wants 40 places and then it is up to them to fill it up/or not.

    No wonder the restaurant doesn't want to be involved, especially if the leader is not replying to them either.

    Can you not call this "leader"?? Call them and speak to them, not text them.

    The whole booking seems weird. Why would you book 40 places and then everyone rung up individualy to book it again? I have never heard of that before. Are you sure it is not the leader who is confusing all this full stop?
  • victory
    victory Posts: 16,188 Forumite
    Does anyone else that you text know the phone number of the leader so you can call direct or can you call them direct on the mobile number you do have? If they have not got back to you it really needs a quick call to make sure you actually booked in
    misspiggy wrote: »
    I'm sure you're an angel in disguise Victory :)
  • Sometimes you make plans and really don't want to go and it turns out to be a fantastic night out. Othertimes you really don't want to go and you don't enjoy it.

    It sounds like it's not been very well organised and I would be inclined not to bother.
  • 20 miles away? I wouldn't go. It is a shame because it may be the last opportunity to speak with these people.

    Why don't you try calling the leader rather than texting, or have you tried? I got a bit lost in all the detail of the post. She is more likely to respond if you called her maybe?
  • Crisp_£_note
    Crisp_£_note Posts: 1,525 Forumite
    edited 14 December 2011 at 5:08PM
    Leader doesnt often answer her calls / answerphone messages, or txts, I dont have a landline number or address for her and she in the next county so miles away now anyway.

    I'm really not bothered about the meal its the Secret Santa part that is the factor for me. I know how tight money is at the moment for a lot of people and if the person I have bought for didnt turn up I would be annoyed for wasting £5. Same as I would be feeling a bit left out if I didnt get a gift.

    Same with the £3 reimbursment.

    Sorry the post is confusing, spose I just needed to share and get it out my system, was a bit rambly I agree!
    Failure is only someone elses judgement.
    Without change there would be no butterflies.
    If its important to you, you'll find a way - if not, you'll find an excuse ! ~ Easy to say when you take money out of the equation!
  • Any
    Any Posts: 7,959 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Well, doyou know if other people are turning up? If they are and you want to see them, I would probably go.
    If you have no idea about anything then I wouldn't and wouldn't worry about the rest either.
    If you are in this situation, are the others in the same situation? What are they doing?
  • Crisp_£_note
    Crisp_£_note Posts: 1,525 Forumite
    edited 14 December 2011 at 5:16PM
    Any wrote: »
    Well, doyou know if other people are turning up? If they are and you want to see them, I would probably go.
    If you have no idea about anything then I wouldn't and wouldn't worry about the rest either.
    If you are in this situation, are the others in the same situation? What are they doing?


    As far as I know those who have managed to book and pay a deposit are going. Checked with a few people and they have managed to book after difficulty. I am not getting hubby to drive all that way to try and make a booking and they wont accept our reservations or deposits by phone.

    :(
    Failure is only someone elses judgement.
    Without change there would be no butterflies.
    If its important to you, you'll find a way - if not, you'll find an excuse ! ~ Easy to say when you take money out of the equation!
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