A thread about step kids AND in laws!

koalamummy

Butterfly I would not be able to resist the urge to tell them all ever so politely to get lost and then enjoy Christmas dinner a la local take away at home!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

DD is 12 as well. She has also opted to escape Croydon for Christmas.

It's the first year she has been given the choice where she goes and she wants to try going to her Dad's for a change. I suspect that by Christmas morning, as her father is shouting at her stepbrother and stepmother and the stepmother is shouting at the stepbrother and DD and the dog and she gets £20 worth of presents as the stepbrother opens up £500 worth of gear like he did last year, she will already be packed to come back by 11am.



The ex says he will drive her back for the afternoon, and I don't have to spend Christmas morning with him watching what I have bought and moaning about how rubbish my house is compared to his for a change (whilst eating my bacon sandwiches and drinking my coffee).

I'm not looking forward to the prospect of being completely alone on Christmas Day at all.


But she is old enough to decide at 12.


And I believe your stepkid is old enough to decide as well.

Seanymph

Jojo you have my company and empathy. Two of mine came back with similar tales of pound shop parcels in comparison with overflowing abundance for the steps bought with THEIR fathers money (he never pays me mainentance) - the step mum (g/f) has never worked - and her kids (bar one) were all older than they were.

It was miserable, and they only went once for christmas.

It breaks your heart doesn't it.

podperson

Could you not perhaps pick them up on the way to the brother's in Brighton (baby sister will probably be up at the crack of dawn anyway so will have seen her opening pressies by then surely), spend the afternoon with them there and then drop back off in the evening before either seeing the MIL or going straight home? Failing that I would second the having a second Christmas a few days later then it's more relaxed and won't be rushing around everywhere.

FatVonD

Thanks all for the helpful replies. I did put the idea of an alternative Christmas to DH but he was adamant that his parents would want to see the grandkids on the actual day, especially as he put it 'they might not have many Christmases left'. (He's a good man, I think I fell in love with him the day I found out he took his mum and dad the Sunday papers and a pint of milk round every Sunday :A )

Eventually I persuaded him to ring the ex (instead of texting) and she came up with the perfect solution. The younger kids will stay at hers for the morning (so they'll get to see the littlest open her presents) but then they're all happy for us to pick them up on the way through to come to Brighton for lunch and the evening with us. DH will still need to run out to pick up the 19 year old and his GF who will have been with the GF's mum for lunch and then FIL will drop them back on their way home.

We will either drop the kids back to their mum at the end of the evening or she will collect them Boxing Day teatime if DSD is adamant about going to the party but, as far as her mum is concerned, she wasn't expecting them to go to the party with her at all (in fact I think she might have been looking forward to an evening off :rotfl: ) and DSD is just chancing her arm :rotfl:

So all's well that ends well!

Thanks again everyone

FatVonD

podperson wrote: »

Could you not perhaps pick them up on the way to the brother's in Brighton (baby sister will probably be up at the crack of dawn anyway so will have seen her opening pressies by then surely), spend the afternoon with them there and then drop back off in the evening before either seeing the MIL or going straight home? Failing that I would second the having a second Christmas a few days later then it's more relaxed and won't be rushing around everywhere.

OMG, you aren't DH's ex are you? You posted this while I was typing!

FatVonD

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

DD is 12 as well. She has also opted to escape Croydon for Christmas.

Jojo, are you really from Croydon or are you doing what I was doing? I ask because, although I don't live there now I chose it because I did until 3 or 4 years ago!

FatVonD

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

and she gets £20 worth of presents as the stepbrother opens up £500 worth of gear like he did last year, she will already be packed to come back by 11am.

That would be awful and something similar did inadvertantly happen the first Christmas we spent together (but still living apart.) Since then I am very careful now to make sure they have similar amount/value of presents. I do then buy my own DS something else given not on the day to compensate for the stepkids also getting presents from extended family while he has no extended family. This year it'll be chef's knives for his college course so I don't the others would give two hoots even if they were there!

peachyprice

Just goes to show it's good to talk (rather than text)

Glad you've got it all sorted.

Treed

Nobody wants to be travelling up and down from place to place on Christmas Day. I suggest you and your OH ask the kids when they want to see you, wether that be boxing day or even a non christmas day, you could always give them a second christmas day after christmas. That way they are kept happy in being at there mums as they wish, and you can have a "fake" Christmas day together another day and celebrate it properly without travelling around. Maybe have all the family together on say the day after boxing day? That way you can have the full day together and you wont feel used for presents either.