The New Me And Our Quest To Become Debt Free And Have Self Belief

elantan

you know sometimes i come on this site and read about the !!!!!ing (not this forum) and then i pop over to dfw and read all the loving helpful supportive comments and it makes me proud to be a dfw....your son sounds like and angel and i know your proud of him...thank you for sharing your story with us...need to go look for hankies now ...

LookingAhead

Oh weller you've made me cry, really. I mean full on nose blowing and everything.

Please please don't think bad things about yourself. I totally agree with mountainofdebt, if you were a cr ap Mother your boots would be in the wardrobe and your child would be living off pick & mix.

And if you were a cr ap Mother your child would never have thought about something so selfless.

Remember that children often see solutions to problems in really clear cut/ black & white ways. They can't take into account yet, the emotional factors. And that's what your little boy was doing.

I know he's not going to but, hypothetically, if Samuel went to stay at Grandma & Grandpa's house, he would miss you like crazy within a day and would want to come home. (Then he would have his first lesson in making big decisions based on feelings as well as a 'logical' solution...!)

Honey please be gentle with yourself. You have not failed your child. being a fantastic Mother is not about how much you spend on your children, take it from one who knows. My own Mother had to rely on School Grants to clothe me and I was brought up on whatever food was available....but my Mother read me stories, played games with me, let me help in the kitchen, she educated me every day with one piece of advice or another, she loved me and I loved being around her too.

It's *not* about the money. I want you to write that down one hundred times!

Really wish I could give you a big hug and make you a :coffee:

Come back soon and let us know you are alright.

needmoney

“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.”

I found this on another site and thought it applied here

Best wishes to you weller although money helps it simply can't replace love, better times ahead i hope for you xx

mountainofdebt

came to me

IF your little lad does need to stay with his grandparents - even if its for you & hubby to have a night out - you might need to stress to him the reason why he's going there (eg so that you can go out) and that you'll be back for him.

The only reason I'm suggesting this is that whilst he will have accepted your answer it might be lurking at the back of his mind still

LouBlue

That made me cry!

You have not failed ANYONE! Anyone that has raised a child to be that thoughtful and caring, is a winner in my book!! Have faith - things will get better! xxx

appleyard

This made me so sad. But what people are posting is right - children, until they're seven or eight can't see anything form anyone else's point of view. They truly believe that the world centres around them.

I remember lying in bed as a kid listening to my parents row (that sounds dreadful but they were just normal people I had a good childhood) and racking my brains for what I had done to cause it and listening for my name. Obviously its highly unlikely to have anything to do with me but as a kid I was aboslutely sure. The idea of my mother crying was enough to make me cry - still is to this day. You've got a beautiful, sensitive and intelligent little boy that just doesn't quite understand but is old enough and intelligent enough to understand half of it which is far more confusing for him than the days when he didn't understand anything.

I hope you can stop hating yourself, bad mothers are mothers that don't try.

LookingAhead

appleyard wrote:

The idea of my mother crying was enough to make me cry - still is to this day.

I can relate to that!

cattie1

LookingAhead wrote:

I can relate to that!

yeah me 3!

moonlightpjs

Thanks all of you for your messages of support and for caring. I just can't believe how much people on this site support each other - through thick and thin - its just like one big family.

I have spent most of the day in tears, thinking what I could do to make Samuel feel better - not that hes complaining - hes just going about his business with his usual happpiness - its just that because hes stuttering a lot lately I think its playing on his mind though hubby says hes just tired out cos hes been getting up every day when hubby goes to work (6am). I hope thats its and things aren't bothering him. I keep asking him if hes ok and he says he is (can't seem to understand why I keep asking him though) so i'm just going to let it be for now and have a nice family evening, tea, baths, reading books (he loves to read and learn new words) and lots of cuddles.

I thought he would be jealous when we had Mollie (after 6 miscarriages and then a very "quick quickie" resulted in Mollie), but hes so good with her and loves her to bits. I thought about buying him a toy or something but I know thats not the answer so me and my daring boy are going to the park tomorrow to spend some time alone whilst Daddy looks after Mollie - its a long walk but it might wear him out so he can catch up on the sleep he's been missing.

I just feel so much for him because he has Dyspraxia - poor speech, little or no co-ordination, can't process things if you tell him to do more than one thing at once etc and hes come through so much especially after being bullied at school and he tries so hard and is the most thoughtful boy I know (well, I would say that) and he takes everything on board. My MIL says he is slow and shuold be in a special school and it makes me so mad - hes in the top group at school and is very clever and even if he wasn't I would love him just the same. I feel he shouldn't have to worry at such a young age - I know how it feels and I don't want him to go through what I did. We are going to be honest with him and tell him we dont have a lot of money to spend but that we can afford to keep him and his little sister. I think having another baby is going to be put on the back burner for now - a wise move I think. I live for my children and love them more than you could imagine and I am so lucky to have such wonderful children - I coudln't wish for better.

Anyway rambled on enough - thanks again - it means such a lot, it really does and now I am going to go and cuddle my son (who is up to no good in the bathroom!!!!).
Love Lisa

Toomuchdebt

!!{hugs}} you have a wonderful little boy there