you know when all you lovely people give advice...

postingalwaysposting

Gemmzie wrote: »

It shouldn't but it can be! I'm the same, I have my little savings jars and I hated taking any money out of them.

Now I treat myself now and again. Still getting the best prices, cash back etc and the guilt is going because I'm still spending smart.

The balance will come

gem i am exactly the same i dont know why but i feel really gulity and i ahvent even spent the cash yet but why am i feeling guilty? i earnt the money as long as i hit £850 ish by september 20th (which i am on course to do) i should be fine, still it doesnt push the guilt away does it? now i am asking myself do i really need my 'treat' i want to put on a new 0% card :mad:

margaretclare

Yes, I do have this attitude to life - you only live once (as far as we know!)

I'm afraid I've been criticised on other boards here and in other threads. I have been less than sympathetic about some older ladies (younger than me, usually!) who are agonising about leaving their house and money to children, don't want to pay IHT on it and don't want to pay if they have to go into a care home. These are not issues that give me any concern whatsoever. DH and I have all our affairs in order and we don't worry about things that are too far in the future. But as I said, I've been criticised for not being sympathetic enough. At age 50 or 60, which is what many of these ladies are, there's an awful lotta living still to be done! Never mind putting your house into your children's names - when I was 62 I fell in love all over again. 10 years ago this autumn, and we're still as wildly happy together and still as much in love. In fact I don't know what I'd have done without him these last few weeks - I fell and fractured my pelvis, am waiting for cataract surgery, I need gynae surgery but can't have it until I get down to 70 kg (11 stone). That's another 10.2 kg to go, and it's my next big big big challenge.

Understanding about figures helps, because it's all about strict calorie control. I've created a calorie deficit which means I'm taking in 500 calories a day less than I need to maintain current body weight. It's happening slooooowly!

One thing about dealing with debts - it's like the elephant that you can only eat in chunks, not all at once. Every time you pay off a small debt, it's one less. Give yourself a big pat on the back and have a little treat. Not one that costs a lot of money, but a treat all the same.

HTH

Margaret

tesuhoha

I think this is a lovely thread Pap. I am glad you have booked your college course. Good luck to you. I think you should spend some money on yourself. Go bowling, its really good fun and good exercise for you as you are trying to lose weight. In fact why dont you take it up as a hobby? You are only young and I think you should save a regular amount and keep some for outings, having fun, clothes, holidays. I am sure you can divide up your money in this way and be more liberal with yourself without feeling guilty and without getting into debt.

I was just wishing my daughter was more like you after reading your posts. I shouldnt criticise her I know but Im feeling so upset this morning. As she is a student where you are I have tried to help her out financially by paying her rent, tuition fees and other things. One of them is her mobile phone. A few months ago I warned her to be careful because it is on contract and she ran up a bill of £40. Well this morning when I logged on to internet banking I couldnt understand why the account was overdrawn because yesterday there was over £100 in it. Well then I saw that her monthly mobile bill had gone out and it was £111. Although she is home for the summer she is away visiting a friend at the moment. I was so shocked that I sent her a couple of angry text messages and she hasnt replied. I feel like crying. All of my scrimping and scraping and worrying about money and my husband working overtime today to try to make some extra money. I feel like telling her to take over the contract but if she does then she will get herself into worse debt than she already is. Sorry to go on but I just cant understand why my kids have got the attitude they have and someone like you worries about money all the time. She is the same age as you and she never even thinks about it. All I am trying to do is help her through college so that she can start work with a reasonably clean slate but sometimes it feels as if Im banging my head against a brick wall. How did you develop your careful attitude? Do you think its because your mother has never given you much?

postingalwaysposting

aww tes

thanks, to be honest i was really worried about what your reply will be to college, but i am glad you aprove. I do love bowling and i am on it all the time on my wii, however i feel its too much of an expense, at £20 for 2 games its a bit over the top. However i will go next saturday and have some fun. I must admit i am getting fed up of being stuck indoors, however what is my ideal of a great day out isnt my friends :rolleyes: nevermind. Also i am getting to the stage i was in jan, which caused the second debt, and i am itching to spend some cash even though i know i am going to be spending £90 in the next few weeks Its really hard today because my nintendo magazine has just been delieverd (if its delivered its 3 for the price of 2) and i have missed 4 games so far and there are another 3 being relased up to september not including the new zelda that isnt even on my console :mad: ~ sorry i am rambaling now but when i look at other i think mmm, she gets 5 new bags a month, hes just brought a dvd recorder, oh she has a new tv and a new wardrobe and they arnt on much more than me :rolleyes: anyways...

regarding your daughter, i havent got a solution, sorry but does she need a contract phone? if so then can you cap it? and then once she hits a resonable amount then she cant call? as long as you know there is a public phone at the uni? otherwise can she go payg? and then you give her x amount per month and once its gone its gone? you work so hard for your money and your quest to become debt free and this doesnt help... is she only in debt from the student loan or much more?

as for my money management and worrying all the time i think its an obsession, and yes i would like to be more carefree with cash as i am 'only young' but i never think i can... a classic example is i logged onto my pension (yes at 21) and i am worried as i think there isnt enought in there :rotfl: i dont retire for 45 years :rotfl: how my obssesion started... well lots really but mainly when i was in year 8, we were (all the children) lined up in the living room and told that my parents were in diffficulty with money, i later found out this was banckruptcy then once my father left it got worse. However my mum isnt all bad she went without things so we could have them... but i felt as soon as i could earn i needed to 'share' my cash and save what i had left... i rebelled in the early years and i did the debt thing... i will admitt that but in the whole i think i am better than all my family with regards to money. I get my days but i could never be like my brother/sister.

If you daugher has a few min, get her to skim this thread. Its not nice reading but maybe it may help her? Sadly untill people (inc your daughter) relises that they need a 'lightbulb momment' regarding cash not necc debt then there isnt much you can do... i just hope you are able to carry on 'teaching' your daughter... i would be glad to have you as my role modal

*zippy*

Wow PAP 've just spent half an hour catching up on your thread and how inspiring it is. :T

Really pleased you are going ahead with college, I think you will have a fab time and you will meet new people. I would love to do a OU course too.

Tes, we got DD a contract phone for Christmas, if she goes over the set amount she has to pay us back out of her allowance. Could you do something similar so she suffers a bit for taking advantage. Agree though it is hard to teach older kids the value of money, DD always had everything she asked for when she was younger, luckily for my LB moment I stopped it, but even now I have to be strict with myself when I see things I know she would like. Its taken a long time, but she has greatly improved and never asks us for stuff now. Hope you can help her a I understand what a worry it is, I don't want mine to be in the same position we are.

tesuhoha

Having difficulty posting, just sent two long replies but lost them.

tesuhoha

Basically, Im going to do what you both suggest - send her a set amount each month and cancel the dd. Try to make her go PAYG.

postingalwaysposting

tesuhoha wrote: »

Having difficulty posting, just sent two long replies but lost them.

i did too tes... i had to write it using 'post reply' then copy it and paste it into the quick reply box

tesuhoha

Pap, how's this for a financial plan

1) Long term savings - £50-£100 month - not to be touched (high interest, notice account -ISA maybe)
2) Short term savings for holidays, car etc - more money to go into this account but can be withdrawn when needed.
3) Normal Christmas savings
4) Spending money - £100? More generous than before.

Think the reason youre dipping into your savings is that you're not allowing yourself enough money to spend on pleasure. Allow yourself a more generous amount but then be strict with yourself and never go over it. Once its gone, its gone.

tesuhoha

And why not buy one computer game, the best one, instead of denying yourself completely. : then accept you cant have them all.:(: