Friend not speaking to me, feeling sad & confused

coolcait

olibrofiz wrote: »

3 months on, been wittering about this so decided to 'be the better person' and make contact.

Emailed one and got a short, curt reply back. Texted the other (who I;d been more friendly with) 'you still off with me?' at a 'now or never' moment.

Got 3 months of raving bitterness back. Nasty comments about me & another who stayed in the team. Got a text the next day saying IF they;d behaved inappropriately etc (they DID) then they were sorry. Not an apology IMO.

And so, I'm done. Time to move on. Don't need them in my life.

What's done is done.

However, I don't think that texting is ever a good way to try to mend fences.

I don't think that the question "you still off with me?" is ever going to come across as conciliatory, hoping to mend fences, or wanting to re-start a friendship. It sounds confrontational and challenging.

I'm not surprised that you got a harsh response. I am, however, pleasantly surprised that your friend followed it up with an apology of sorts. Good on them for trying to be the better person.

You might have got a better response if you had asked how the other person was getting on, and said that you had been thinking of them a lot, and missed them. Especially if you had tried to actually 'talk' to them.

However, as I said, what's done is done. But, it's worth considering how things might have turned out if you'd used a different form of communication, and different words.

FatVonD

They're pathetic, let them go, what on earth would they have done if you'd been promoted to be their boss??!

olibrofiz

Was going to try and answer comments, and will one - I didn't text 'how are you' because not well apparently, and I knew those words would result in a rant.

But this is really done now. Thanks alll.

wapow

Four_leaf_clover wrote: »

Are you in a parallel universe? I am very surprised by your response to the OP, which is rather rude and not constructive. Not sure why you are suggesting she has been a mug or tried to buy friendship back. What part of her posts led you to jump to that conclusion wapow?

Its very constructive and to the point. Its not sugar coated in awwws and aaaaahs.

Why mug?
Her friends are affecting the way she feels. This is boiling over into other aspects of her life. Supposedly she hasnt done anything wrong and is an angel. Yet her so called friends are being ignorant towards her for no apparent reason and theyve known her for such a long time.

Theyve formed a clique and laugh about her. Shes being taken for a ride IE mug.

Also whats with buying them pressies? Money wasted isnt it? Theyre probably laughing at that and enjoying their presents. Buying them pressies (which is where i said maybe shes trying to buy the affection) She should move on and not let it affect her emotional being. Get it?