problem with fairness to kids

RadoJo

lyn07 wrote: »

I feel that if his 3 children can earn or pay off things by heklping, then mine should as well, so I might consider putting money aside each time they help, if this all makes sense.

But your three are old enough to have full time jobs and fund their own lifestyles, whereas his three aren't. To be honest, I think it's a bit unfair to expect him to reduce the amount he spends on his kids to spend more on yours - either everything should be fair between all the children, or there should be agreed amounts spent on the children depending on their ages (ie if you used to spend £x when your kids were younger, but now spend £y, then his should get the same at whatever ages they are).

adamantine

when i had my sons i stopped getting presents at christmas. thats always been the rule in my family. well we get a token pressie - the last year was a personalised key ring. just something small.

now im on my own my parents buy me a present from the children but its rarely over £10. to me its just nice to have a card.

if your 21 year old adult daughter wants a laptop and has saved some money up then give her the money towards it equal to what you are giving the other children. i personally would be reducing the amount that i spent on the adult children as they are adults now and christmas is about the kids and im sure they wont grudge you spending more on their little brothers/sisters. well they shouldnt anyway.