is this selfish of me?

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Poppy9 wrote: »

Is your mother getting any financial support? I.e does she get family allowance and any tax credits? You can ask Social Services for help with her entitlements or if your mother/father is a member of a union through their own work they should be able to provide welfare benefit advice.

She is getting child benefit and tax credits she does get but not much as neither my mum or dad work (Mum was made redundant right before this happened and hasnt returned to work so she could have niece, Dad doesnt work but funds life with his private pension and savings. When they looked into help they was told they have too much savings and that they have to use that. Niece goes to nursery and SS pay for this but this was something that had to be dragged out in court.

I thought they was entitled to the free milk and fruit etc but apprently not.

Poppy9

There might be some useful advice here as I understand SS have discretion to make payments to family carers plus there maybe some charities your parents can apply to for grants for things like furniture for your neice.

JC9297

It's not surprising you don't feel able to look after another child as you are essentially a single parent yourself from what you say. You say your baby's father will move in temporarily- do you mean just for a while after the birth? Why won't he be living with you to help you look after your children? I don't think your mum should expect you to look after 2 young children and a baby, especially if you are on your own.

meritaten

Mimi - what would happen if you went into labour? would mum expect you to still have niece? you are in that timeframe when that 'could' happen! you need to be 'clearing' your social calendar hun - and explain to mum that you are 'afraid' to have sole responsibility 'in case' you suddenly go into labour and she is down the pub/party! what would you do then?
You need to have YOUR plans in place - and your niece is NOT your responsibility! your mum agreed to have her and its up to HER, not YOU, to look after her!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

JC9297 wrote: »

It's not surprising you don't feel able to look after another child as you are essentially a single parent yourself from what you say. You say your baby's father will move in temporarily- do you mean just for a while after the birth? Why won't he be living with you to help you look after your children? I don't think your mum should expect you to look after 2 young children and a baby, especially if you are on your own.

OH is moving in next week, and staying for a month. There's a few reasons we don't live together - essentially we had a long distance relationship and it was brilliant. He moved to be with me, and it fell apart. He moved closer to his work, and we see each other at weekends and mid week and its just better.

meritaten wrote: »

Mimi - what would happen if you went into labour? would mum expect you to still have niece? you are in that timeframe when that 'could' happen! you need to be 'clearing' your social calendar hun - and explain to mum that you are 'afraid' to have sole responsibility 'in case' you suddenly go into labour and she is down the pub/party! what would you do then?
You need to have YOUR plans in place - and your niece is NOT your responsibility! your mum agreed to have her and its up to HER, not YOU, to look after her!

Mum is having DD when I go into labour until a friend picks DD up - Mums opinion is, if niece is here it will be easier because she not need to walk round with niece, or me walk to hers with DD

mummyroysof3

[QUOTE=Mimi Arc en ciel;49201775

Mum is having DD when I go into labour until a friend picks DD up - Mums opinion is, if niece is here it will be easier because she not need to walk round with niece, or me walk to hers with DD[/QUOTE]

thats what she will have to do on all the other nights you might go into labour though so not sure thats a good enough reason tbh