Family members not talking to me - What would you do?

Bufger

I'd leave facebook, grab a pair of cutters and start trimming the diseased part of your family tree.

Happens to most families at some point. The trimmed parts end up turning sour whilst the rest of the tree carries on as normal. Dont give them anything - no contact, no excuse to enjoy their comments and now 'win' scenario.

tea_lover

Person_one wrote: »

Misinterpreted? How many ways can you interpret being called 'The creature from the black lagoon' on your wedding day?

Ok, maybe misinterpreted wasn't exactly the word I was looking for. My point was (and this has highlighted it!) that online comments don't always come across as intended. It may be the case that they really are just nasty people, in which case they should be ignored and not given a second thought. But sometimes what can seem like a funny comment to one person might come across as horrible to someone else, without the context of a RL conversation to judge tone etc.

FB (and other sites) can sometimes make things like this escalate.

I realise I'm explaining myself very badly here, for which I apologise! Please be assured I don't mean any offence.

ETA: my BIL said I looked like a fridge on my wedding day! Believe it or not it was a compliment in a long-winded way. Not every comment can be taken at face value.

elantan

facebook is just a computer programme ... its the people that use that programme that either make it an enjoyable experience or a nightmare ...

op if i were you i would be feeling relieved that you dont have to spend any of your own valuable time being involved with these nasty people ... move on with your life and live it to the best of your ability

elvis86

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

I think it sort of depends on what conversations (in whatever form) happened alongside you blocking them.
Unfriending someone, or even worse blocking them, is a pretty big deal to some people. Unfriending is saying "I don't want to be your friend any more" and blocking is saying "As far as I'm concerned, you no longer exist".
That's a big deal. Not surprised they're not talking to you after that.

But if you explained to them that you didn't like their comments and they continued and then explained that you were blocking them on Facebook but were still happy to be friendly in real-life then that's not such a big deal.

I can't imagine feeling strongly enough to block someone on Facebook but wanting to remain friendly in real life?

It's the real person sitting at the computer. If they're a pr**k on Facebook, chances are they're a pr**k in real life too.

It disturbs me that people who are parents and grandparents would behave in such a pathetic manner. I simply can't imagine the elders in my life when I was a child being so ridiculous and childish ("Yeah, my great-aunt isn't talking to my gran because she called her a fat sl4g on Facebook..." - it's just WEIRD!), no wonder some kids today turn out the way they do if these are the kind of role models they have...

Oldernotwiser

Why bother?

" My aunt, my cousins and my cousins son" aren't exactly close relatives, are they?

cobbingstones

Did they go to your wedding?

I would need to know what the problem was personally.

Charityworker

Thanks for your replies. It's not the fault of facebook that I have received these comments. Thats equivalent to saying that someone who has been receiving dirty phonecalls it's their own fault for having a phone.

The reason why I think they are jealous is that I used to be the butt of all jokes in the family and I used to take it! I was a lone parent for 7 years, I could never get a decent job, man or house. I was always getting bad luck. I had a string of horrible jobs that I hated and never lasted long. I used to do (and still do) a lot of voluntary work inbetween paid jobs and they laughed at me for working for nothing. I was always moving from house to house because I could never get a secure tenancy and landlords would always want to sell up after I'd been there a little while. These family members have always used me as the butt of all their jokes. Many a time I have left family "dos" in tears because everyone there has been listening to their jokes. In about the last 5 years I have had a turn around. I was offered a paid job for one of the organisations I was volunteering for, granted I don't get paid much but I really enjoy it and I feel like all that voluntary work has been rewarded. I met a really nice man and am now happily married, my children have gone on to do what they want to do. I have a lovely large 3 bedroom house, granted it's a council house but I'm very happy.

The cousin who is doing most of the comments is working a night job in Asda and hates it, her house is old, damp and shabby, her husband is an alcoholic and her son is a complete chav who has been in trouble with the law, his ex girlfriend had a baby at 16 and has never been to college or worked.

I used to take all these jokes but for about the last 3 years I have stood up for myself. I don't think they can put two and two together that I'm not going to put up with them being like this anymore and it's come as a bit of a shock. So they put those things on facebook thinking me and everyone I know and work with couldnt see them (they did because some of them commented on it and said about how pathetic they made themselves look).

I think your right. I'm not going to put up with it anymore and if my mum wants to turn a blind eye to her niece calling her a leathery old slapper thats up to her!

thorsoak

You've blocked them on facebook - do you need to do anything else? Don't waste any time on them - just live your life the way you wish to live it - that's all.

Charityworker

cobbingstones wrote: »

Did they go to your wedding?

I would need to know what the problem was personally.

Yes they did and they moaned about the seating arrangements, the menu and the music. They also gave us a cheque for our wedding present instead of a present and it bounced!

adelight

What the fuuudge? Why would family do that? They really don't sound like nice people from your posts and I would forget them and concentrate on keeping a good relationship with the civil members of your family. Can't believe someone would laugh at you for volunteering in between jobs, that's really quite a sensible thing to do. Don't start !!!!!ing behind their backs but do explain to your mum that you were getting hurt by the cruel comments they were making and you're fed up of being the butt of their jokes. Is it not understandable to want to get away from nasty people that are getting you down? It escapes me why some people are so bitter about their own situation that it leads them to be cruel to someone who is finally getting a break after years of hard work and bad luck.

OP, you have your own grown up family and most likely friends who are just as good as a family so forget them.