Need more sex! Your views please!

frustratedinlove

I am a long time user but have changed my id for the purposes of this post!

I've been with my boyfriend just under a year. The relationship on all levels is great......except I need more sex! We don't see each other during the week and so have to cram a whole week into 3 nights/2 days. Now sometimes we'll have sex on a Friday and that will be it. Sometimes its maybe one night and one morning. For me this just isn't enough. Is it unreasonable to expect it more? I'm definitely higher sexed than him but its starting to make me think a) am I expecting too much b) doesn't he fancy me and c) well all sorts of paranoid thoughts!
When we do it its great. I now you shouldn't compare but my ex couldn't keep his hands off me -although to be fair it was actually quite annoying sometimes-but something in the middle would be nice. Hes not very forthcoming with compliments etc and so maybe these things go hand in hand? Maybe I'm just more passionate!

I have said something but its almost like he doesn't want to hear it, he'll just laugh as if I am joking. Its not a joke its actually threatening what is otherwise an amazing relationship and I don't think he gets it.

So what do I do?

photogeek

Find a lover and continue your otherwise amazing relationship. That's what people in Toulouse do ;-)

Gloomendoom

Ask him to have sex with you more often?

Gillyx

You have to find a happy compromise, if you would like it 3 times over a weekend and his preference is 1, then 2 is a happy medium. He would have to learn to give a bit more (no pun intended) and you would have to learn if he was putting in more effort to be happy with that.

Overall though, sex drive is something that is difficult to change, and if you're really struggling now when you only see each other at weekends, how would it be if you were living together 7 days a week?

Me and my OH have very different sex drives, but we've learnt to cope with it, it's not easy as one person will always feel resentful and the other like they're not loved/appreciated. When we first got together everything was great and it was sex 24/7 but I suppose real life gets in the way and life doesn't go like that. We're very very close though, and always affectionate so I suppose that helps with things, noone feels neglected.

frustratedinlove

Photogeek......hmmm don't think so lol!

gloomendoom....tried that one! Its like he thinks I'm joking!

Teddy_KGB

Buy yourself something that you can use on your own if you get what I mean!

frustratedinlove

Gillyx wrote: »

You have to find a happy compromise, if you would like it 3 times over a weekend and his preference is 1, then 2 is a happy medium. He would have to learn to give a bit more (no pun intended) and you would have to learn if he was putting in more effort to be happy with that.

Overall though, sex drive is something that is difficult to change, and if you're really struggling now when you only see each other at weekends, how would it be if you were living together 7 days a week?

Me and my OH have very different sex drives, but we've learnt to cope with it, it's not easy as one person will always feel resentful and the other like they're not loved/appreciated. When we first got together everything was great and it was sex 24/7 but I suppose real life gets in the way and life doesn't go like that. We're very very close though, and always affectionate so I suppose that helps with things, noone feels neglected.

Yeah I guess you're right about finding the happy medium. When he has been here everyday when not working away the weirdest thing is that we do it every night! I do wonder if a lot of it is just that he's knackered?
Its always sex 24/7 at first isn't it but I feel like we've got to that 'rut' too soon if you know what I mean. Its been one of those were everything has happened really quickly.

frustratedinlove

Teddy_KGB wrote: »

Buy yourself something that you can use on your own if you get what I mean!

Yeah but its just not the same as the real thing and anyway the rate I'm going the batteries will be gone in 2 days!!! :);););)

*max*

photogeek wrote: »

Find a lover and continue your otherwise amazing relationship. That's what people in Toulouse do ;-)

Well, I was born there and my brother and his wife live there, and this is news to me! I should have a quiet talk with him maybe....:p

claire16c

frustratedinlove wrote: »

I am a long time user but have changed my id for the purposes of this post!

I've been with my boyfriend just under a year. The relationship on all levels is great......except I need more sex! We don't see each other during the week and so have to cram a whole week into 3 nights/2 days.

Why do you need to do that? Surely you talk on the phone and communicate with one another throughout the week? You cant cram a week into a weekend so dont try to. It sounds like you are pressurising yourself into doing the impossible.

If you only see each other for 3 nights/2 days then having sex twice in that doesnt seem unreasonable to me. Everyone is different of course. What else are you doing at the weekends? Going out etc?

Maybe your ex couldnt keep his hands off you but surely hes your ex for a reason? Perhaps he wasnt great in other ways that your new partner is? Maybe your new parner enjoys spending time with you outside of the bedroom too and so then there is then less time for sex compared to your ex because you are doing more activities together perhaps?

Ive just read your new post about him being knackered and perhaps thats it too - a lot of people are worn out by the time the weekend comes after a long week.

Teddy_KGB

frustratedinlove wrote: »

Yeah but its just not the same as the real thing and anyway the rate I'm going the batteries will be gone in 2 days!!! :);););)

Buy some re-chargable batteries! :money: