Daughter's Car Accident - please help.

Badger_Lady

tesuhoha wrote: »

I just feel you are all making assumptions about her, i.e she has been called a middle lane hogger. She is a nervous driver and needs more driving lessons. Where did all that come from?

You get that reaction just for mentioning owning a driving licence in this forum. It's nothing personal - honestly, go through anyone else's thread and it's full of ranting about how terrible every other driver is!

mikey72

Badger_Lady wrote: »

You get that reaction just for mentioning owning a driving licence in this forum. It's nothing personal - honestly, go through anyone else's thread and it's full of ranting about how terrible every other driver is!

That's very true, I always get slated for admitting I can't see anything in my car's blindspots.
Better drivers than me can apparently!

Badger_Lady

mikey72 wrote: »

That's very true, I always get slated for admitting I can't see anything in my car's blindspots.
Better drivers than me can apparently!

If general opinion on here was made law, the roads would be populated with tumbleweed 'cos no-one would be 'fit to drive' :rotfl:

tesuhoha

Badger_Lady wrote: »

^ What Mikey said. And I'm sorry Tesuhoha but yes it really is possible to get spooked or lose control for no good reason without being hit and without particularly doing anything wrong. That's the terrifying truth. And I say that having come out the other side of two major accidents on the M4 - I know exactly how terrifying and upsetting it is. But you just can't automatically blame a third party, however tempting it is to do so.

The fact is, whether you believe the BMW was involved or not, there's nothing you can do about it... there's no solid evidence that they were involved, no reliable witness, your daughter herself doesn't even remember... what the damaged car 'looks like' to you and some other casual bystanders simply isn't good enough to prosecute someone, and nor would it help anything if you did.

Especially if you were in fact pointing the finger at another entirely innocent person who was very shaken up by narrowly missing a serious accident and stopped to try and help!

We don't know, you don't know, and nobody ever will know for sure. As difficult as it is to do, you have to let it rest and focus on helping your daughter to rebuild her confidence on the road. It took a lot for me to feel 'right' on the motorway again after my blow-out, knowing that the car could suddenly spin out of control at any moment. But I got there in the end

Thanks for this. But there is also the possibility that someone caused this accident and has got off scot free. I am hoping that the insurance assessors will be able to examine the paint and ascertain whether it is from another vehicle or the crash barrier. I will be very interested to hear what they say.

My daughter wants to drive again and feels confident about getting back into a car once her arm is healed. She knows she was driving carefully. I think you know if you are being dangerous on a road and that is not her. However, because she is a new driver everyone automatically lays the blame on her.

mikey72

Well, I wouldn't be allowed out, I'm only human, but all the perfect super human drivers on here would be out in force. (For about 10 minutes until they ran into each other anyway)

tesuhoha

Badger_Lady wrote: »

You get that reaction just for mentioning owning a driving licence in this forum. It's nothing personal - honestly, go through anyone else's thread and it's full of ranting about how terrible every other driver is!

No one is perfect but she tries very hard to be a good driver and she loved her car and would have not wanted to damage it. She was always washing and polishing it!

tesuhoha

mikey72 wrote: »

That's very true, I always get slated for admitting I can't see anything in my car's blindspots.
Better drivers than me can apparently!

I have blindspots on my car and I am not perfect. I ran over a pheasant on the M20 the other day. I was in heavy traffic, driving at 60 in the middle lane, passing a large lorry and I could not see any way of avoiding it so I ran straight over it. It happened in seconds.

For the life of me I cannot remember how the vehicle in the inside lane did not hit it.

Badger_Lady

tesuhoha wrote: »

I am hoping that the insurance assessors will be able to examine the paint and ascertain whether it is from another vehicle or the crash barrier. I will be very interested to hear what they say.

It will be interesting... and also very surprising. In my last accident, the Policemen on the scene placed the blame squarely on a hatchback that stopped in the middle of the motorway. They sent out witness / statement forms, breathalyzed people, the works... but in the end it was just easier for everyone (there were 4 cars in the pile-up) to just split the 'blame' and get their insurance payouts, with no prosecutions.

I didn't mind - I didn't see any benefit in pushing for criminal action against other people, I just wanted to get my write-off cheque, nurse my injuries and get back to normal.

Anecdotally, this is the way insurance companies like to operate. No fighting or pushing, or anything that uses up expensive resource. Just deal with the claim and move on.

They may be different in this case and best of luck to you

tesuhoha wrote: »

My daughter wants to drive again and feels confident about getting back into a car once her arm is healed.

So was I at the time. It's when you get halfway down the motorway and you feel a little wobble, or you hear a funny noise, and suddenly your heart starts skipping beats and the adrenaline starts firing off because your body is saying "Eep! Is it about to happen again!?", even though your conscious mind is sure that it won't...

tesuhoha

mikey72 wrote: »

I made none of the above.
I suggested contacting the police to pursue the report from the officer, I suggested contacting your insurance to pursue it on your behalf. I also disagreed with your opinions of the damage.
I have never made any comments on your daughter.

Sorry. Am just feeling a bit jaded.

tesuhoha

Badger_Lady wrote: »

It will be interesting... and also very surprising. In my last accident, the Policemen on the scene placed the blame squarely on a hatchback that stopped in the middle of the motorway. They sent out witness / statement forms, breathalyzed people, the works... but in the end it was just easier for everyone (there were 4 cars in the pile-up) to just split the 'blame' and get their insurance payouts, with no prosecutions.

I didn't mind - I didn't see any benefit in pushing for criminal action against other people, I just wanted to get my write-off cheque, nurse my injuries and get back to normal.

Anecdotally, this is the way insurance companies like to operate. No fighting or pushing, or anything that uses up expensive resource. Just deal with the claim and move on.

They may be different in this case and best of luck to you



So was I at the time. It's when you get halfway down the motorway and you feel a little wobble, or you hear a funny noise, and suddenly your heart starts skipping beats and the adrenaline starts firing off because your body is saying "Eep! Is it about to happen again!?", even though your conscious mind is sure that it won't...

Goodness me I hope that doesn't happen to her as she has the M25 to contend with. TBH my daughter just wants to forget about it now and she told me we should stop talking about it and let the insurance company deal with it. I've just been busy having arguments with people on here and can't stop. Not sure why. I ought to make a cup of cocoa and read my book in bed instead but can't concentrate.