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Daughter's Car Accident - please help.

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  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    No point in arguing here - OP you are understandably upset and emotional about as we would all be if our kids were involved - thankfully she is relatively OK. once the initial high emotions have settled down hopefuuly this will all be sorted out. People here can only really post based on what you write please remember whioch si why I said originally noone can tell you anything about it for definite, only what might have happened

    Also hope this doesn't knock your daughters confidence too much, as you did say she was a nervous learner. Don;t dismiss the motorway lessons it may help her confidence when she returns to that road - as others have said a nervous driver at 70mph on motorways can be as dangerous as an overconfident one. You don't get taught any motorway driving on lessons whilst learning to drive

    Good luck with it all

    I have already mentioned that she drives the m2/m25 every day to work during the rush hour since July. She is well accustomed to the motorway and has driven down the M4 on previous occasions. She is a careful, not nervous driver. She was a nervous learner and spent over a year having lessons until she felt ready to take her test. After she passed she had a few sessions with my husband driving the motorway to get used to it.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    littlerat wrote: »
    Just to pop in and say I'm glad your daughter is ok.

    I had this happen on a motorway, overtaking a van (he was doing about 60, me about 70) and he suddenly tried to come out into the outside lane (or swerved for no reason, whatever) and hit my front corner - thankfully through my excellent control (or luck, look at it how you will :D) although I was spun I didn't hit anything. I don't fully remember what happened but I'm about 95% sure it wasn't my fault. Thankfully the only damage was the dent where he hit as I didn't touch the barriers and it was an otherwise empty road.
    The people I've spoken to who have had similar all have had trouble remembering exactly what happened, I think it's normal! Oh and the van drove off, by the time I got onto the hard shoulder (stopped the wrong way around on the motorway!) he was gone, obviously thought he'd not fancied stopping...

    I can't remember what happened really at the first accident I was in (100% the other drivers fault) and that was a simple rear end shunt - the shock just scrambled my memory.


    My brother only a few days ago had it happen to him in the middle of town on a roundabout (someone not following lanes), again by the time he realised what happened the driver was gone without a trace, his car is a write-off as it twisted when it hit the barrier.



    Unfortunately my bets would be on someone with poor lane discipline hitting your daughter - and while I do wonder why she was in the middle lane if not overtaking (my only wonder is if she moved over to let him out of the slip road and he accelerated past her on the inside?), it still seems likely to me he nudged her.


    Hope you get it sorted quickly and your daughter isn't sore too long!

    Thank you for saying that about the memory. I think if you have experienced it yourself then you know what it is like. I don't know why she was in the middle lane. However, I do know that lots of people overtake on the inside lane. I see it myself all the time.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    I've just been talking to my husband and hearing what he thinks happened. Its the first time we have talked about it what with everything that's been going on.

    He thinks someone knocked into her and the left hand side of the car hit the crash barrier. You can clearly see the imprint of the crash barrier on the right hand side of the car. Will post a photo of it as I have just realised I havent done this. She then bounced off, spun 360 degrees at high speed and hit the crash barrier on the other side headfirst.

    If you look at the photos you will see that there is also white paint on her left tyre. My husband said it is powdery paint and could be undercoat. This would make it highly unlikely that a piece of debris did this and she did not hit the crash barrier on the left side. Will post photo of right side below.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • mikey72
    mikey72 Posts: 14,680 Forumite
    Crash barriers are white and powdery, and it's the same height as the barrier marks on the offside rear.
  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    So what you are saying is that she was driving along on a straight clear road in daylight, nothing hit her, she started spinning on her own and she somehow managed to hit the crash barrier on both sides of the car before crashing headfirst into the other crash barrier. I am trying very hard to imagine this scenario.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    As well as doubting my daughter, you are doubting the car recovery man (who said the damage on the left side was not from the crash barrier), my husband and even the policeman who now says she was hit. All have actually seen the car.

    Lets assume you are all right then and we are wrong. How could it have happened?
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • mikey72
    mikey72 Posts: 14,680 Forumite
    edited 2 December 2011 at 10:55PM
    Who knows?
    Any theory is as good as the next here.

    Where does the doubting come into it.
    To be fair, only your daughter was there, and you stated she can't remember anything.
    Everyone else is just looking at the marks on the car.

    All I said was crash barriers are powdery, and the marks are the same height on both sides. If you are saying either of those statements are wrong, fair enough.

    (my car doesn't have powdery undercoat. It's a two pack, like the top coat, and the lacquer)
  • Badger_Lady
    Badger_Lady Posts: 6,264 Forumite
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    ^ What Mikey said. And I'm sorry Tesuhoha but yes it really is possible to get spooked or lose control for no good reason without being hit and without particularly doing anything wrong. That's the terrifying truth. And I say that having come out the other side of two major accidents on the M4 - I know exactly how terrifying and upsetting it is. But you just can't automatically blame a third party, however tempting it is to do so.

    The fact is, whether you believe the BMW was involved or not, there's nothing you can do about it... there's no solid evidence that they were involved, no reliable witness, your daughter herself doesn't even remember... what the damaged car 'looks like' to you and some other casual bystanders simply isn't good enough to prosecute someone, and nor would it help anything if you did.

    Especially if you were in fact pointing the finger at another entirely innocent person who was very shaken up by narrowly missing a serious accident and stopped to try and help!

    We don't know, you don't know, and nobody ever will know for sure. As difficult as it is to do, you have to let it rest and focus on helping your daughter to rebuild her confidence on the road. It took a lot for me to feel 'right' on the motorway again after my blow-out, knowing that the car could suddenly spin out of control at any moment. But I got there in the end :wink:
    Mortgage | £145,000Unsecured Debt | [strike]£7,000[/strike] £0 Lodgers | |
  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    I just find it strange that the police officer changed his opinion. Initially he blamed my daughter then didn't bother to phone her to say he had noticed the marks and found them suspicious.

    I just feel you are all making assumptions about her, i.e she has been called a middle lane hogger. She is a nervous driver and needs more driving lessons. Where did all that come from? I also think that even if the registration plate of the other car was embedded in her wing there would be someone on here that would be able to explain it away.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • mikey72
    mikey72 Posts: 14,680 Forumite
    I made none of the above.
    I suggested contacting the police to pursue the report from the officer, I suggested contacting your insurance to pursue it on your behalf. I also disagreed with your opinions of the damage.
    I have never made any comments on your daughter.
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