MG - The Matrix Re-wired

greenbee

Dorastar wrote: »

Got a question for anyone who does public speaking/leading meetings and stuff like that - is there anyway I can stop myself turning beetroot colour as soon as I open my mouth. I don't feel particularly embarrassed and it doesn't happen all the time but I do look fairly close to death when it happens and it makes it look as if I don't know what I'm talking about. Also have the same issue with alcohol (abstain mostly) curries (only eat at home) and exercise (usually in dark or at home - which sounds dodgier than it is!!!)
Any ideas?

Practice... I still have the same problem with booze and exercise, but not with public speaking anymore.

Someone was thinking about some public speaking training... they know who they are... clearly the universe is still knocking on that door

Igamogam

The British Heart Foundaiton kindly left me a large sack to fill with my decluttered items so I dont have to do the 20 mile round trip to town All bagged up and ready for collection

greenbee

I suppose I should go to bed... I'm physically tired but I doubt whether my brain or my throat are going to co-operate on the sleep front...

Hopeful1

Just a flying visit...

Sorry you've been let down, Claire. Trust is an important trait. It's so disappointing and hurtful when people unexpectedly abuse that trust.

More ironing done tonight to relieve the strain on the basket! I've also spent time laminating various resources that i've been putting aside for a good few weeks, so I'm pleased about that. Just off to read for 10 mins before it's lights out. I want to be sure I'm up early again in the morning.

Sleep well everyone, including you, Greenbee!! I'm glad you responded to your family's threats and went to the doctors

greenbee

Hopeful1 wrote: »

Sleep well everyone, including you, Greenbee!! I'm glad you responded to your family's threats and went to the doctors

They're doctors... I was worried they'd insist on treating me themselves if I didn't do what they told me to :cool:

Glad you've had a productive day.

I really MUST stop working now and get myself to bed....

Memory_Girl

Dorastar wrote: »

Got a question for anyone who does public speaking/leading meetings and stuff like that - is there anyway I can stop myself turning beetroot colour as soon as I open my mouth. I don't feel particularly embarrassed and it doesn't happen all the time but I do look fairly close to death when it happens and it makes it look as if I don't know what I'm talking about. Also have the same issue with alcohol (abstain mostly) curries (only eat at home) and exercise (usually in dark or at home - which sounds dodgier than it is!!!)
Any ideas?

Public speaking is the most stressful and scary thing on the planet - seriously, polls say that people would literally rather die than stand up and speak.

Your "extreme blush" is your body fighting the flight / fight response. Your brain is saying "run away" and you body is saying "Nope gotta stay". Heart rate, blood pressure, respiration and cortisol stress levels go through the roof - your body does what it needs to to "calm down" dilates your blood vessels to allow you to cool down by pumping blood to the surface and letting your literally sweat....................................... and "glow"

................ my goodness - when I read that its a wonder any of us do it :eek:

You need to find a way of practising a deep relaxation and visualisation technique to short circuit the stress. Visualising a calm an eloquent presentation often enough means that your body won't trigger the "fight or flight" response when presented with the challenge as you will have "mentally rehearsed" it many times and as far as your brain is concerned it becomes "just another day at the office".

You can also try this (sounds gross) - but just before you start hold a little spit in your mouth ................ no seriously, hear me out.

When you are stressed you get a dry mouth - OK? So if your mouth is moist with spit then your brain doesn't recognise you are stressed and the "extreme blush" doesn't happen.

You can tell I am developing a short course for the future can't you :rotfl::rotfl:

MG

Lara44

Mmm... how interesting MG. Dora I have the same problem, and I also get a little bit of a wobbly voice as well. Will try the spit trick :rotfl: This morning I have just applied to present at my first ever proper conference! Yippeee! I've only ever presented at PhD things at Uni before, so it's going to be really exciting if I get accepted :j

MG I am glad to hear the meeting at school went okay. You're right, high school might be a much better fit for him. It's much easier to socialise with a wider range of people there, including some from the years above and below.

MOAM hugs to you and your DS too - sorry to hear you've been battling with the school to get his needs accommodated.

Claire - a huge hug :grouphug: Sounds like you need it. Thinking of your DS too.

Greenbee - glad you went to the Docs, hope you feel better soon.

Clootie, love your Round Tuits, the fridge cleaning one was my favourite! If only there was a chocolate gateaux I had to clean out of my fridge :rotfl: Hope you get cash back for your PPI.

Glad to report OH is feeling better about his health news. He has arthritis, which he had when he was a child. He's gutted it's back. He has some pain every day but it's manageable. The treatment offered is pretty full on, it would mean we couldn't have kids while he was taking it. The drug is an immuno-suppressant so it would also probably mean he couldn't come with me on fieldwork to any weird places in Africa. He does computer work so he's scared about not being able to use his hands in the future. I think it just sort of knocked us both a bit. But life is more than just future plans, and everyday life is what is important. So I guess we will see what happens and let the future take care of itself, maybe he'll be lucky and his condition not develop any further.

troglodyte

Morning!

Welll I managed to get up early, but then other stuff happened so I haven't managed much work yet. At least that's something I suppose!

Public speaking - this was something I managed to avoid for 10 years, it petrified me so much. Funny really as I am quite happy to do spontaneous silly stuff in public, but introduce me to an audience who are sitting there waiting for me to say something intelligent and I couldn't do it. My boss knew I was scared so never suggested it, but eventually I had to give a presentation at a meeting (all of 2 minutes!!) and I was so frightened the doctor gave me some beta-blockers to help control my racing heart. I was still terrified but managed to keep things reasonably under control. After that other meetings, conferences etc came along and it did get a bit easier, then I got a new job with a boss who naturally assumed I could just do all this stuff, and I couldn't admit my fears so I just had to get on with it.

One thing that really helped me was meeting many of the 'big names' in my field and finding that they were also still nervous about presenting work, and that they still had to put in the preparation to give a good talk, even after a lifetime.


Preparation really is key:

• Plan exactly what you are going to say, and practice so you can say it without having to read notes (although some brief notes to jog your memory in case your mind goes blank are always reassuring to have to hand).
• If you have text on your slides, don't just read it out. Put highlights on the slides but talk about the subject more.
• Check your slides etc thoroughly beforehand, make sure they are clear and understandable, no mistakes, you generally need about 1 per minute of your talk and don't clutter them up with too much information.
• Find a meeting room or somewhere with a projector or whatever you will use, and practice there on your own. Just sitting in front of your powerpoint slides on your PC isn't the same at all, although if you're stuck for a place to practice you can try standing at the front of the room with a laptop. You'll feel silly at first, but it helps. Then if you're brave, get a friend or colleague to come and listen to you.
• Time yourself so you don't rush and gabble or leave long silences, remember to breathe!
• Try and think of all the things people might ask, and prepare for those.
• If you're afraid your hand will shake holding a pointer or something, use two hands or rest your hand on the edge of a lectern if there is one. If you see your hand is shaking using a laser pointer, for example, you know everyone else can see how nervous you are and it makes you feel worse!
• At the venue, make sure you are there in plenty of time, and before your session, go up and have a look at where you will be standing, what the controls for the system are etc so you don't get in a muddle when the time comes.

Those are the things that help me anyway. Sorry to go on so much!

Lara, sorry to hear about the arthritis, hope a suitable treatment can be found (there are far more options now than there were a few years ago)

Greenbee, hope the doc can do some good this time!

Claire, so sorry you've been let down.

MG, inspired by your blog I used one of my 4 lemons to make a small jar of lemon curd and the other 3 to make preserved lemons, which are now on my windowsill. Once they are done, how do I use them - just the rind? Do I rinse off the salt? What about all the liquid in the jar?

Oh dear sorry to go on so much and hog your thread! Hope everyone is having a good day so far

Oh yes forgot something else. I also went through a very bad time at scool, what helped me to keep going was to remember that school is not your whole life (although it can feel like it at that age, when it feels like everyoe is against you/ out to get you). I looked for other places I could go to do stuff and meet people, who were not the same ones I saw at school. That helped to keep things in perspective as well as give me more activities and interests. So for those who have trouble 'fitting in' with the crowd of bullies at school, joining some other sort of sports or social club or organisation may help to keep life on track.

Memory_Girl

YOu scrape out the flesh and chop up the rind - then it is used as a flavouring / seasoning in things like Moroccan tagines, chicken stuffing, salad dressings, tabouleh.

The liquid you just rinse away as it waaaaaaaayyyyy salty.

MG

greenbee

Great presentation tips Troglodyte

We hav e very strict rules on presentation structure and number of slides, so are supposed to allow 3 minutes per slide. I also prefer have images on the slides (then if I deviate slightly :cool: from my planned chat no one will notice), but otherwise no more than half a dozen bullets per slide.

If you have a microphone attached to you, make sure you know where it is and where your head needs to be to be heard. Having it on the wrong lapel if your screen is to one side can be a problem.

Personally I find wandering around the stage (and sometimes the audience ) makes me much more relaxed than standing still, and also helps me engage with the audience.

My colleagues and I often practice by sharing screens and giving the presentation over the internet to each other to help us work out both slides and talk. It's not quite the same as standing up and talking, but it does help to have some feedback.

Suppose I should go an write a couple of presentations now