Really cant cope :( [Merged]

bestpud

teabag29 wrote: »

I was under the impression that if I take her out then all the help will stop as she is nolonger schools problem? I also assumed that I would nolonger be able to apply for a statement if shes not at school? how can i prove school arent meeting he needs if she isnt there, also parent partnership said I couldnt move her while the application is in place

Only if you take her off the roll and tell them you are home edding.

Leaving her on the school roll while keeping her at home until they can take steps to protect her emotional and physical well being is different.

It's not good for the school to have children at home so they may step up to the mark more readily.

Also, the others responsible for her care may well push the school a bit more so they can get her back into school.

Definitely do not de-register her or you will shoot yourself in the foot.

It's important you tell them why she is being kept at home though.

teabag29

No I have numerous threads about my daughter and how she is being pushed from 1 professional to the next and I feel i'm letting her down. Yes her behaviour has a huge impact on myself and the family but i'm quite sure if you ask anyone who has a child with extra/special needs they will also tell you they struggle at times too. I wouldnt say the answer is to put her into care for her head to get messed up even more. Her family is the one stable thing she has in life who are always here for her and I have no intention of passing her onto someone else just as the professionals involved seem to be doing. I am her mum and I will stick by her nomatter what. If I couldnt be there for her through her worst, I sure as hell wouldnt deserve her at her best. She's going nowhere!

teabag29

bestpud wrote: »

Only if you take her off the roll and tell them you are home edding.

Leaving her on the school roll while keeping her at home until they can take steps to protect her emotional and physical well being is different.

It's not good for the school to have children at home so they may step up to the mark more readily.

Also, the others responsible for her care may well push the school a bit more so they can get her back into school.

Definitely do not de-register her or you will shoot yourself in the foot.

It's important you tell them why she is being kept at home though.

But will I not ger into trouble for this, i.e. fined etc? The education welfare officer made it sound as though he would forbid me to home educate. I think I shall ring parent partnership again and get all the info ready for the caff next week and if nothing is sorted then pull her out, assuming i'm allowed to do this. If I do that will salt, paediatrician and ep still see her or do I lose right to those when I take her out?

Plans_all_plans

In your shoes, I would be refusing to take her to school in a heartbeat. Then I would wait for them to start ringing and harrassing me about it and then I would be telling them what I expect them to do before she goes back.

I would make the biggest, most godawful stink and the head/educational welfare person would be cursing the day they met me. I have friend's with siblings who have special needs and they all say that their parents only got what they wanted for their kids by shouting loudest and fighting hardest.

Best of luck OP.

mucklebones

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

In your shoes, I would be refusing to take her to school in a heartbeat. Then I would wait for them to start ringing and harrassing me about it and then I would be telling them what I expect them to do before she goes back.

I would make the biggest, most godawful stink and the head/educational welfare person would be cursing the day they met me. I have friend's with siblings who have special needs and they all say that their parents only got what they wanted for their kids by shouting loudest and fighting hardest.

Best of luck OP.

Agree with this completely, I have always suggested similar in your previous posts. As for a fine... do you really care? I could be charged the earth but under the circumstances it would be the least of my concerns. Given the situation its highly unlikely you will get a fine, if anything it might get some asses moving.

Plans_all_plans

If they tried to fine me when they were being so obstructive and not meeting my child's needs in school, I wouldn't be paying it. What can they do? Throw you in jail? What, for fighting for your child? I don't think they'd want the bad press! Keep notes of everything you've said and done to get help for her, in case you need them to back yourself up in future.

Does anyone know of any organisations/support groups that the OP could tap into?

mucklebones

Just out of interest OP who gave evidence in your daughters DLA claim? Surely there are health professionals who recognise her needs and should be fighting with you?

teabag29

mucklebones wrote: »

Just out of interest OP who gave evidence in your daughters DLA claim? Surely there are health professionals who recognise her needs and should be fighting with you?

Well I wrote about 6 pages including a diary of her weekly behaviour/issues etc. Then dla wrote to doctor for him to fill something in and they also sent a form to school, however I also wrote a letter to explain how school contradict themselves when they say she is no problem at school (i.e. she had truanted and shop lifted whilst meant to be at school and school were constantly ringing me about her but on the form they put no issues with her). I sent in all reports and referral letters I had too

snookey

Teabag I think your taking the wrong view of my post and the other poster who suggested your daughter going into care. Sometimes the only time that social services take notice is when a parent is at breaking point and tells them to take a child into care.
Id suggest that you call them and tell them that your on the verge of wanting your child taken into care. Put in writing to them your concerns and tell them if they dont get your daughter support then you will seek legal help. On the point of legal help could you seek legal advice to see if they could be forced to safegaurd your daughter.

meritaten

teabag - no-one can stop you home educating your daughter if that is what you feel is best for her - except that I feel you dont WANT to do that! I also think that you take too much as gospel what people quite low down on the ladder at SS and School say!
I think you and your daughter are being badly let down by the school and SS and you are accepting that.
GO HIGHER! I am not saying that just to waste words on here! I mean it..........The help for your daughter IS out there, but, YOU have to access it. I have personal experience of this, and so does my daughter with her Aspergers son - it took 8 years before he got his diagnosis and the special help he needs - and my daughter had to fight every day of those 8 years. My son is having similar probs with his 8 year old daughter - but he has his sister to help him and believe me - sometimes you have to go to the very top to get anything done!

This IS within your MPs remit because its dealing with government agencies and departments, and a word from your MP (or Childrens Minister if you have one) is worth years of fighting with school headteachers, Social Workers and the like!

So please dont dismiss my first post! Try it - you have absolutely nothing to lose - and a hell of a lot could be gained!