OK......Here's my dilemma.....what would you do?

butterflylady131

Thanks guys. I would like to wait until bubba is 3 before we have the next one, but DH is adamant. Will discuss it more this week.

I make out that we're struggling, but we do have £300 a month spare from DH's wages, and we try to overpay debts as much as we can (when car breakdowns/boiler breakdowns etc allow).

Guess I need to take a step back and breathe. Been difficult this week as she's been poorly, and neither of us have had much sleep! Just wanna cuddle her all the time and make her better!

Desperate_Housewife_2-2

What would YOU like to do with this situation? I would sit down and write down the pros and cons of each sceanrio and how it would make you feel and affect your finances. Dont feel pressurised by others and as for kids, they just do things anyway regardless of how we teach them! I never bothered with potty training with my 2nd just waited until she chucked her nappy off and didnt want it anymore!

Nurseries are over rated and not a substitute for good mothering, you are the best person for your baby not some paid starnger who is doing it for a job.

I have tried allsorts over the years and juggled different hours and jobs, promotion didnt work out financially as there was more stress and demands on my time. Pleas be warned though that 2 kids is not double the work...its exponential!

Good luck with whatever you decide, but make sure it is your decision and have confidence in yourself.

make_me_wise

At 9 months old your daughter is a little young to be gaining all she could from nursery. She could get all of that with you for next to nothing. Sure start offer all kinds of activities for mums and bubs to go along to. Alot of church halls offer mum and baby/toddler groups round my way. Will also allow you the chance to meet other parents and make a strong network of local friends. Invaluable as your kids get older for helping each other out with school runs, covering each other with drop offs and collections, inset days etc.

To be honest if after covering all expenses I ended up with just £34 per month I would jack it in, especially if it is not a job where you have to keep a hand in and practice. Babies grow so fast and you might look back on this time at some point and regret missing it.

Alikay

butterflylady131 wrote: »

Please, opinions, what would you do in my position?:o

For that £34 a month I would be staying at home with my baby, cooking from scratch to save cash, doing paid surveys online and bargain hunting like David Dickinson on speed. I'd be walking everywhere to save petrol (or getting rid of the second car if you have one) and wouldn't need to fork out for decent work clothes or the haircuts, make up etc going to work requires.

But I'm me not you. What do YOU want to do?

butterflylady131

Alikay wrote: »

For that £34 a month I would be staying at home with my baby, cooking from scratch to save cash, doing paid surveys online and bargain hunting like David Dickinson on speed. I'd be walking everywhere to save petrol (or getting rid of the second car if you have one) and wouldn't need to fork out for decent work clothes or the haircuts, make up etc going to work requires.

But I'm me not you. What do YOU want to do?

All of this. I just want to mother my baby. Blimey, this is something that isn't in any book. My mum stayed at home with me and my siblings, my dad earned enough luckily for her to do it. She got ill and died, but I'm glad she looked after us first. I guess sometimes I wish I still had her to talk all this through with.
I've been thinking of comping too, and all the usual selling things etc.

missindecisive

If you are only working for £34 per month, I would definately give up work to stay at home with your child. you could probably make that much on ebay selling the old baby clothes that have been out grown. Remember once these early years have passed, you can never get them back again !

Alikay

butterflylady131 wrote: »

All of this. I just want to mother my baby.

Well, get a couple of decent nights' sleep and see if you still feel the same, then hand your notice in at work and nursery! LIfe is too short and childhood too precious to plod on feeling unhappy. This site will easily help you to recoup £30 or £40 per month, and if the going gets tough you can always consider a bit of temping or a short stint in a supermarket in the evenings when your OH is around.

Oh, regarding baby no 2: It's also money-saving to have 2.5 or 3 years between siblings as you won't need a double buggy and child no 1 will have outgrown the cot and highchair before they're needed!

susancs

I totally agree with the above post...life is too short to be unhappy. Reading your posts you obviously want to be at home with your baby more and resent the time spent away working for the sake what equates to £12 a day. This resentment will build up and may begin to effect your relationship with your OH. I think you are just looking for reassurance that your decision is right, as think you really have already made the right decision for you which is that you should give up the job and childcare at this time. Once that is decided you need to look at ways of paying off your debts, so I would go to see the Citzens Advice Bureau and get some advice. As others have sugguested maybe the way forward for a few years is to do work in the evening or work from home.

silvercar

Check whether you would lose Working Tax Credits if you stopped work. That may effect your figures.

renegade

Give up the job and stay at home and look after the baby you have waited so long for.
Money should not be an issue as you said you could always sell your car.
Why on earth are you thinking of having another child so soon, when it is obvious ( to me anyway) that you are not confident enough to care for the one you have?
As has been pointed out, there are lots of other options for you to learn about teaching babies to use social tools etc, library books, mother and baby creche's, talking to other parents. 9 months is a magical age when they are discovering so much about their environment I wouldn't have missed it for the world, my children didn't go to nursery until they were 3 yrs old then just for a couple of hours in the morning.
Enjoy your child and good luck.