OK......Here's my dilemma.....what would you do?

butterflylady131

A bit of background first. Married with a baby 9 months, and SD 12. £18k's worth of debt, currently making all minimum repayments, no defaults or bad things on our credit reports. Work 3 days a week, 9.15am till 5pm. Bubba attends nursery 3 and a half days a week (the half day is so I can get housework done), husband works a 12 hour day, and 6.30am till 1pm occasional Saturdays-more often than not.

My dilemma is this: Once childcare and petrol are paid for, I work for £34 a month. Should I give up work?

Bubba loves nursery, so i would like to keep her there for at least 2 days (the minimum nursery is contracted for), and I believe the social aspect is good for her. I am only really at work to qualify for maternity again next year when we start to try for bubba number 2, and we need to have my wage (small as it is) to tag onto our wages for mortgage purposes when we move house in 2013.

She's just been ill all the time since she started nursery, and I know this is what happens, but it's still hard to leave her when I want to be with her all the time and comfort her. Also, I have no holidays left for this year, and if I have to take time off for her illness over december, I won't get paid for it, which means we will lose out on my wage, which means we'll struggle to pay for nursery who I have to pay, whether she's there or not.

It will be a struggle for us to have 1 wage, but we can manage. We just need to adjust our mindset and shift our priorities.

Please, opinions, what would you do in my position?:o

building_with_lego

To be honest, in the current climate, I'd be inclined to keep my job!

Imagine that the nursery fees and petrol, with the other bills are shared between you both- do you come out as earning more than £34?! I understand that were you not working there would be no nursery fees but it's a different way of seeing things.

PinkLipgloss

Would it be possible to have the best of both worlds and adjust your working hours / get another job so that your OH is looking after the children whilst you are working?

That way you'd have more money to pay off your debt and then focus on saving up for treats like family holidays.

BitterAndTwisted

1) I cannot conceive of why you think it's worth getting out of bed to go to work for £34 a month. Yes, I do think you should give up work unless it's vital to your long-term career-development.

2) If you give up work I completely disagree that you should keep sending your baby to nursery. They don't need "social aspects" when they're that tiny. And being with other snotty-nosed kids is the reason why it's picking up every sniffle and cough that's going round.

3) I cannot understand why on earth you are thinking about having Bubbs Mark 2 when you're EIGHTEEN THOUSAND POUNDS IN DEBT.

onlyroz

How would you afford a bigger mortgage and another child if it's a struggle now?

But in answer to your question, do you like your job and does it have prospects?

VfM4meplse

I would suggest looking at opportunities for wfh, but given that you acknowledge the benefits of nursery care and the potential for more maternity leave, so it does make sense to stay put until baby #2 comes along.

Don't expect your colleagues to be overjoyed by 2 stints of maternity leave over a short period of time, start planning your exit now.

claire16c

It would depend if the job was a 'career' job that was worth keeping going, because in the future it will pay off and you will earn more.

If its just something minimum wage then it doesnt seem worth doing it for £34 a month!

I do wonder how you would be able to afford to get a bigger mortgage though if you have so much debt? Would it not be better to pay that off quicker and stop paying so much in interest as youre only making minimum repayments?

I dont think at the age of 9 months a baby needs to be in nursery for social reasons. Perhaps if they were 3 or 4 it would be different!

the other option is to look for a better paying job.

Tiddlywinks

With so much debt, do you really think you should add to your family so quickly? If you barely manage now, how will you really cope on less money with another little one?

Also, am I the only one that thinks that paying for an extra half a day a week in nursery to allow you time for "housework" is an expense you could really do without?

butterflylady131

Hi,
Thanks to all that replied. Both me and my husband would like another baby as I'm 37, and have been instructed for health reasons to have one as quickly as we can, to leave it later would bring on more health problems. We were trying 5 years to have bubba, and now that we know that we can, we both think that we would like to add to our family.

Yes, £18k is a lot of debt. i'm not naive to think other wise, but if I don't work, we can sell my car, and put the money towards paying off the debt. My job does not have good career prospects, and is just a bog standard admin role. Ideally, I would like to be able to work opposite DH's job, so he can be home to look after bubba when I'm at work. I've never not worked, and the thought of it scares me.

I guess I justify bubba going to nursery because I'm not confident I'm able to develop her as well as nursery does. Guess I don't have much confidence in myself really.

And I agree that having her going to nursery to allow me time to do housework is a luxury. That will be stopping in January.

Elle7

If you would keep bubba there for two days a week anyway, your OH's wage would have to pay for this - so you'd make yourself much worse off.

I'd consider only sending her for 3 days, and having her 'help' with the housework or doing it while she is asleep.

Then you'll get paid maternity again, and will be able to get your new mortgage, and you can re-assess then to see if you'd still like to give up work.

claire16c

In that case Id give up the job and sell your car now, and pay off some of the debt. Take your daughter out of nursery. Is is worth the £34 for spending that time away from her?

You could always get a part time shop job on a Sunday or something? If your DH looked after her then youd make more money that way.