Finally seeing the right track getting closer

debtfree2015_2

Sounds like a good book muffin, and holidays too! Might have to have a read, not sure I could do it with a child in tow, but a few tips might reduce things!

Well done on changing your car battery, I would have been too scared to even attempt it - that reminds me I need to arrange breakdown cover incase it ever does happen!

Are you thinking of leaving your work? For another job, or building up your self employment?

x

MuffinTops

debtfree2015 wrote: »

Sounds like a good book muffin, and holidays too! Might have to have a read, not sure I could do it with a child in tow, but a few tips might reduce things!

Well done on changing your car battery, I would have been too scared to even attempt it - that reminds me I need to arrange breakdown cover incase it ever does happen!

Are you thinking of leaving your work? For another job, or building up your self employment?

x

The woman who wrote the book worked part time as a teacher and was single and although there are probably tips for all I don't think it would be feasible to put many things into play when you have others relying on you.

Honestly, I was really scared changing the battery as I just kept thinking how many volts needed to go through to get the car moving which I was about to put a metal spanner to. Luckily I didn't rely on my own common sense and looked online about what to do and which wires to remove first and through that I found a reputable site which gave me more instructions on how to change the battery without losing radio codes etc which worked out great.

I am hoping to leave work and pursue my own path and self employment yes. I was initially thinking of going part time at my work and then I'd have a stable amount of money coming in, but I just think that if I throw myself into something for me then I'll put a lot more into it. The idea I have can run alongside my current job initially anyway so I can test the water to start with.

MuffinTops

I've got 3 items with an hour to go on eBay and 2 have bids. So excited! My lunch break finishes shortly though so I'll have to wait for the email letting me know how it went!

It's my Mum's birthday later this month and I found a great voucher deal so will be taking her away for the day and night to somewhere she's not been before. We have a twin room, breakfast and a bottle of wine all for £35. Initially we were going to have a day out in London but I think she chose that as she didn't know where else to suggest so I decided to let fate choose and this is where we're going. The great thing is it will appear like I've spent a fortune on it. I'm so chuffed as she'll love it.

I phoned my car insurance company and my insurance expires on 21st April so I can start looking at new quotes with cashback there now too. My insurance this year was a frightening amount but with my no claims it should be less than half that this year. Another massive saving.

I'm also looking forward to getting my cc bill in this month as I'll be paying the lot off and closing the account. I'm wondering how I go about this though. As a newby to paying things off do I pay the amount on the bill, or do I phone them and ask for a final figure to cancel the card? I'll ring them this evening and ask what to do. Then I'll no doubt get put through to the retentions team who will advise me enthusiastically of all these great deals they have like buy now pay for the next 50 years and they'll do that all with a friendliness in their voice which implies that I can trust them completely. All until I convince them that I really won't accept any more credit or debt and it'll be like a different person is on the line where they go all sulky and solemn! I'm reassured by sulky and solemn though as it means their banter is stopping and they want me off the phone.

Quidco amount is still showing so I'm getting more hopeful that money will find it's way to me.

I received my Amazon payout of £1.46 today! That's transferred into my saving pot now.

Back to earning my wages again now! Having written all of that out I feel pretty productive despite being back at work. Great! :T

MuffinTops

I'm currently spending my full daily budget at the moment. I think Miggy might be my spend trigger! It's not good though. No savings at all this month so far.

I think saving for my birthday and then having the week off has made me feel like I want things again? I'm not off the wagon or in any red within my budget but I can feel that call of the shops! With a little voice now saying "well avoid the shops then stupid!!!" So I'll listen to that one I think. Food shops I'm fine in but I want something glittery to enhance my day! Although, if I can save my daily amount for a few days then I'll be able to treat myself.

I'm out tomorrow night with work people. It's something I arranged before my week off, although today I feel too tired to look forward to it. Early night tonight I think.

My food plan isn't working out how I hoped either. I find food really tedious and don't enjoy it much which is why I don't spend much time generally cooking. Even in the nicest restaurants I enjoy a bit of the beautiful foods they make, then I suddenly get bored and leave it, so it's not a case of not cooking enough or nice enough foods. The only resolution I can think though is to keep tweaking it until I find something that works and gives me decent nutritional value too. Getting those two things to synch up is the usual issue for me.

Two dresses sold yesterday which I posted this morning. I've also just had notification that a book has sold on Amazon. I don't even recognise the name of the book though so I'd better look it up for a visual reference.

I checked my bank account this morning and there's a difference in my reckonings of £70. Fortunately my app believes I have £70 less than my bank balance does, but i have to find out what's happened. I'll print off a statement tonight and sit at home this evening to sort it out.

I feel strangely chaotic at the moment. Not sure what's causing that really. I do feel like I want to go out and have a big spend up and although that's under control in the fact i know I won't go out spending, I don't feel relieved knowing that's under control. Now, do I try to ignore that feeling until it goes or try to work out where it's coming from. Oh, no, I know where that's coming from! Right. I need to find a way of dealing with that without looking for an external solution.

One of my close male friends has started seeing a girl who doesn't like our friendship. I get why she wouldn't as we are/were very close (without any romance) but she's told him to choose and I've not heard from him since. No explanation, nothing. I understand that he chooses her, but to just leave me to figure it out feels really harsh. I agreed to give him space to sort it out, but I did think I'd get an overall decision. We've been close for a few years so this feels like a massive loss to me. On the plus side this is one of the hardest situations I'll be faced with and if I can get through this with minimal damage then I'll know that MSE really is my way of life.

It's also a relief to have figured it out. If I wasn't on this site and that had happened I wouldn't have been faced with thinking about it or working out what was going on. I would have just gone out and bought things in the hope of making me feel better. Silver Cloud Alert!

Well my lunch break is pretty much done now so I'd best get some work done. Have a great day everyone. x

debtfree2015_2

Muffin, is the 70 difference the quidco money? Im sure you said it was that amount?

Its a shame about your friend, the least he could have done is told you. I have been in that situation my bet friend is male, and both of us have had issues with ex partners. We came to a decision that when one is involved, not to get worried if we dont speak for a few days, and to try to keep calls to certain times eg during the working day. It makes it sound like we are having an affair, we arent at all, but we are very lazy and can not be bothered with the agro it can cause.

Perhaps he hasnt said anything incase it doesnt work out with this lady. He may think if he officially says so to you there will be no going back, where as if he says nothing he can say he's been manic/stressed/messed around etc

x

miggy

I think Miggy might be my spend trigger!

Ah no! :eek: *Miggy slinks away with her tail between her legs*
Must admit we are struggling to stay in budget right now but that's all to do with food so we are not sure whether to blame inflation or having used up the easy-to-use-up stuff in the kitchen.

I'm sorry about your friend. It would have been nice to have heard from him, but maybe the g/f is uncompromising? If you were to see her anytime, it might be worth mentioning that you aren't interested in him romantically... but not knowing the situation I don't know if this would help.

I think saving for my birthday and then having the week off has made me feel like I want things again? I'm not off the wagon or in any red within my budget but I can feel that call of the shops!

Uh oh!

if I can save my daily amount for a few days then I'll be able to treat myself.

That sounds like a good idea. I wonder why it is you are drawn to glitter? I think I buy food in the same way - it has comfort associations and I 'justify' it because we all need food, right? At the root of it, though, my mum is a great 'giver' and very often that's shown in gifts of food so I reckon somewhere along the line I've learned to associate food with love. Perhaps glitter is similar? Or something totally different?!

I'm out tomorrow night with work people.

Hope it's a good night!

I find food really tedious and don't enjoy it much

Which is where we differ. I love cooking for other people but I'm rubbish at cooking for myself - I'll just grab a bowl of porridge. It helps if I have something interesting in the fridge - not easy to keep that up though.

Well done on your Ebay / Amazon sales. It's all sending the bank balance in the right direction AND making space for you to enjoy.

Here's hoping you can save a bit soon towards something glittery for yourself. It might not be tonight as you're going out, but soon.

Knitting_Nora

*peers around the door* oooo, so this is where you hide out - mind if I join you? *subscribes*

Have sat and read your diary this evening - and am both in complete awe of your sheer fabness and a little scared of your MSE energy missus M!

If you haven't done it in a while, take a look back at your first few posts - you've come so far, and so fast...we need to rename you Speedy!

As to the friend - whether or not he's just taking the space you offered (remember, he doesn't speak our language and vice versa, so there may still be room for a misunderstanding here), or has made his (clearly wrong) choice, it's still a sucky situation for you. You've the right to be hurt, and to grieve a little...and then remember that you're far too fab for such silliness from your friends, and move on.

On an aside, what muppet tolerates a partner who tells him/her who to be friends with??

*ahem* sorry, I'm back. So anyway, having read your diary in one go, I couldn't help but notice you have a couple of friends who really stretch the definition of the term! I've been thinking recently that sometimes we tolerate the poor behaviours of friends and family etc. because we don't feel we deserve any better. Well, stuff that. We deserve wonderful friends...and anyone who isn't prepared to match the standard of friendship we offer them, simply need not apply! So there. Nuh. *folds arms and stands tall...well, tall for a short person*

Erm, not sure where I was going with that - it's just a current soapbox theme!

So, anyway, lovely to catch up with you - and keep up the good work!

Nora.x

MuffinTops

debtfree2015 wrote: »

Muffin, is the 70 difference the quidco money? Im sure you said it was that amount?

Its a shame about your friend, the least he could have done is told you. I have been in that situation my bet friend is male, and both of us have had issues with ex partners. We came to a decision that when one is involved, not to get worried if we dont speak for a few days, and to try to keep calls to certain times eg during the working day. It makes it sound like we are having an affair, we arent at all, but we are very lazy and can not be bothered with the agro it can cause.

Perhaps he hasnt said anything incase it doesnt work out with this lady. He may think if he officially says so to you there will be no going back, where as if he says nothing he can say he's been manic/stressed/messed around etc

x

Hi DF,
Unfortunately the £70 isn't the Quidco money although that does equal £70. I've only just had a chance to go online for myself so I've not updated and checked things so will need to do that today.

I'm still feeling quite rough about my friend disappearing the way he has. But I'm pleased I've realised it's my trigger and have avoided going out or getting spendy.

But life goes on and I need to find a way to fill that gap with something other than food and spending! So this is a great test for me and I'm doing better than I normally would before I really allowed myself to think about things.

I'll pop along to catch up on your diary soon. I know you've been to college and I think I managed to put a reply on for you, but I'll double check and see how you're doing.

MuffinTops

Miggy, I really related to you saying your Mum was a giver. My parents were very much givers. They just didn't know how to show affection in any way and so buying things was a sign that they cared.

I've always put my love of glitter down to being a water sign and therefore liking things that sparkle. I've been called a magpie in the past because I would spend terrible amounts of money on things just because they glittered.

Surprisingly with the ebay stuff, once I put P&P down as free the sales went higher than when I'd added p&p. I've also decided that a huge chest of drawers is going online now too. The money I get for that will go towards a cheapish vanity type desk where I can comfortably get myself ready in the mornings. I do love online selling.

Work night wasn't great, but I did avoid going over budget and I left early as it takes so long to get home as we went into the depths of London and I'm usually in the City.

I'll be along to check your updates shortly soon. I feel terrible that I've not been online much recently, and have fallen behind on other's news.

MuffinTops

Knitting_Nora wrote: »

*peers around the door* oooo, so this is where you hide out - mind if I join you? *subscribes*

Have sat and read your diary this evening - and am both in complete awe of your sheer fabness and a little scared of your MSE energy missus M!

If you haven't done it in a while, take a look back at your first few posts - you've come so far, and so fast...we need to rename you Speedy!

As to the friend - whether or not he's just taking the space you offered (remember, he doesn't speak our language and vice versa, so there may still be room for a misunderstanding here), or has made his (clearly wrong) choice, it's still a sucky situation for you. You've the right to be hurt, and to grieve a little...and then remember that you're far too fab for such silliness from your friends, and move on.

On an aside, what muppet tolerates a partner who tells him/her who to be friends with??

*ahem* sorry, I'm back. So anyway, having read your diary in one go, I couldn't help but notice you have a couple of friends who really stretch the definition of the term! I've been thinking recently that sometimes we tolerate the poor behaviours of friends and family etc. because we don't feel we deserve any better. Well, stuff that. We deserve wonderful friends...and anyone who isn't prepared to match the standard of friendship we offer them, simply need not apply! So there. Nuh. *folds arms and stands tall...well, tall for a short person*

Erm, not sure where I was going with that - it's just a current soapbox theme!

So, anyway, lovely to catch up with you - and keep up the good work!

Nora.x

Oh Nora, that was such a lovely message. Thank you so much. You really hit it when you said that we tolerate things we shouldn't as we don't feel we deserve any better. I'm very much in that category unfortunately, but since coming onto this board of wonderful and supportive people I am learning to improve how I feel and what I think i deserve.

Receiving the wonderful treatment and support on here from people I've never met has really made me look at some of my actual friendships. I don't like friendships breaking down as I feel I've failed, but I think that if I maintain bad friendships then I'm failing myself.

Anyway, that's getting quite deep for a Sunday evening but I did want you to know how very much I appreciated your message. Thank you. x