A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

paidinchickens

smileyt wrote: »

B****r. My cheerful mood earlier on had been somewhat deflated. When I got to work I was told that my work had been cut down. I knew I was going to lose a few hours but I'll actually be about £100/week worse off. Trouble is, if I claim housing benefit they'll look at what I was earning just before Christmas and not what my circumstances actually are now. This usually happens around Easter every year in my line of work anyway, but this year it has happened much earlier.

Off to look for another job, I suppose.

I can't fathom how they work these things out, you would think they would take a written letter from you employers stating how much you will be earning then sort from there wouldn't you?? I have a friend in the same position and she says she would be better off getting sacked and claim benefits and they wonder why there are so many people on benefits :mad: May you find a new job soon, good luck.

Not much happening here, arguing with the freezer company about a replacement for freezer that was delivered damaged on Friday. I said I would have a new lid sent out instead of the whole thing being changed as I wanted to get my food in it as quick as poss to which they agreed. Then a lady rang me and said is it ok for the engineer to come tomorrow or would I rather wait for the lid to be ordered and then the engineer could bring it with him and fit it ?!?!?

UMMMMMMM no point him coming without the lid is there??? unless he wants to sit and have a coffee and sarnie with me :rotfl::rotfl:

Dropped some stuff I have cleared out down to the CS and picked DGD up from school and dropped her off home.

I spent an hour on the bed feeling sick this morning as I had to change my belly bar, I hate doing it and I hate anything near my belly button so I don't know how I managed to have it done in the first place.

What age do you think you should take them out?? Am I trying to hang on to my youth ???:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

PIC x

katieowl_2

paidinchickens wrote: »

I spent an hour on the bed feeling sick this morning as I had to change my belly bar, I hate doing it and I hate anything near my belly button so I don't know how I managed to have it done in the first place.

What age do you think you should take them out?? Am I trying to hang on to my youth ???:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

PIC x

Oh I should think it should come out about the time it makes you feel sick for an hour changing it?:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Apart from ears, piercings make me feel a bit squeamish. I HATE it when DS decides he wants to change his eyebrow bar...shudder. I have to unscrew/screw on bit the end

Kate

paidinchickens

I think I came to that conclusion after staring at the ceiling swaying I can't even remember having it done I must have blanked the trauma from my mind :rotfl:

prepareathome

[QUOTE=smileyt;50033793_Trouble_is,_if_I_claim_housing_benefit_they'll_look_at_what_I_was_earning_just_before_Christmas_and_not_what_my_circumstances_actually_are_now._:([/QUOTE]

If your council is anything like mine so long as you supply 5 weeks at new rate you should get it, mine never look at how much for the full year unfortunately as on paper we are entitled to it, but as each week he does at least a few hours on top of his contracted 20 hrs it means some weeks he earns quite a bit and they refuse to look at full year which overall brings us well within benefit range grrrrrr

prepareathome

ragz wrote: »

I know I often put housework before my kids (and my house isn't that tidy!) or sit on the computer when I should be playing with them.

There is a very big difference from your child/ren playing happily while you do housework or go on pc to someone who has an ill child and instead of being with the child, will yes make sure they are clean but then leave them crying for mummy while they scrub the carpet ( not just clearing the mess but moving furniture and doing whole carpet. If your DD is happy that is fine - why not get her involved a bit with a small brush and pan or duster, make a game of it so you are doing housework ( abet a lot slower) and spending time with her. Or make up some dough and let her make biscuits, just be prepared to either take a small bite or if you can get away with it pretend from biscuits made from dough that has hit the floor a few times. I would always ensure I made a few biscuits from another bit of dough so the child could eat what 'they' made, I would just add them without them seeing to theirs and pop in oven. First thing is do not beat yourself up or feel guilty every child is different never mind every family and some children right from young age would rather their parents didn't play with them.

wen3

Hello I am back from the long weekend away. Haven't had time to catch up with the thread yet will try later, I am stuck at my Dads at the moment only down the road from whre I live but I am dog sitting, he said to just pop in on the dog but I fill guilty doing just that so I am going to stay with her and DH and DD are at our house. Have to go to work for a few hours tomorrow (extra hours) I called them to say I would be in early so could they leave the work out so I can get on with it as soon as I get in, I was told there wasn't much work and what hours was I meant to be doing as it was very confusing!! So I could get into work and then not have anything to do. Only doing the extra hours so I can pay off the debts quicker and then give up work all together.

Anyway sorry for my ramble. I hope everyone is well and okay, will be back later, I hope.

prepareathome

[QUOTE=gailey;50028283

my mum and sister are horrid to me about house though.

[/QUOTE]

Think bad when you were growing up was the house always perfect I very much doubt it not unless you had a housekeeper and nanny at the very least. So next time your mum starts on you take a trip down memory lane, which is one of the things I did when I had my big discussion with mum as that was one of the things my mum went on about how house was untidy, and hers perfect yes it was once she was living her her two bed flat with a cleaner coming in once a week, and she was 70 when sister left home and that happened before that place was at least cluttered, kitchen always full and her bedroom a nightmare.

People have very short memories when it suits them, like the elderly woman you get who will mutter away about how naughty your child is. I confronted one last year, we were at park with grandchildren and 6 year old was running around and shouting and these two elderly woman ( 80's) told me I was a bad *mum* letting my son make so much noise and run around. So I politely asked them if they had children and they said yes, so I then enquired about the children when they were young, what they liked to do etc., and of course out it came how they loved to run round in park, climb trees ( boys and girls ) and how naughty they could be. So then brought conversation round to why if their own children were allowed to do these things why should not my grandchildren ( although I thanked them for the compliment of thinking I was their mum) run round the park yes making a noise but no more noisy than others, as park was full. They both had the decency to blush and admit they had forgotten about that and how when anyone from the older generation had said same to them when their children were young they would become angry. Ended up they thanked me for reminding them of all those happy days.

So don't let anyone get you down with remarks about your home, if they had children and no staff then their home had been as bad and if it was perfect ( you know like in mags as some would have you believe) then their children would never have felt their house was a home as they would have lived with so many rules and lived in fear all the time of making a mess.

Good luck with the new group, I wish it was as easy for an oldie like me to get out and go places where I could meet people.

:A

prepareathome

Byatt wrote: »

my ex is not bringing my DD home now, she is coming back by train, so no worries about him trying to find me[/SIZE]. :T

Oh am so glad after all the worry he put you through and you having to check at your daughters. I don't blame you not wanting him to know where you live my first husband ( been married to number two 32 years this year) so was a long time ago was a hitter and when I left with a 3 week old baby in my arms I was scared for a long, long time that he would find out where I was and come after me again. He did spot me once crossing a road and tried to run me and daughter who was 10 months old then, down but his father was in car with him and grabbed the wheel and caused him to swerve away. I just hailed a cab and got out of there quick. I went back up to Scotland and stayed with family for a year after that till I heard he had moved away from the city. Thankfully neither daughter nor I have seen him since, second hubby is father to daughter and she has never wanted to see biological dad - her choice she did not learn about him hitting me till she was in her 20's when a family member happened to mention it. Lost my home and all my belongings as then ( mid 70's ) domestic violence was still something police did not interfere with and as they would not come to the house with me to collect my things I had to leave them wouldn't even charge him although I was black and blue and so came away from that marriage with the clothes on my back a baby and the clothes she was wearing and now I look round and think I have to much stuff.

Just so glad you are safe hugs xxx

Byatt

prepareathome wrote: »

Oh am so glad after all the worry he put you through and you having to check at your daughters. I don't blame you not wanting him to know where you live my first husband ( been married to number two 32 years this year) so was a long time ago was a hitter and when I left with a 3 week old baby in my arms I was scared for a long, long time that he would find out where I was and come after me again. He did spot me once crossing a road and tried to run me and daughter who was 10 months old then, down but his father was in car with him and grabbed the wheel and caused him to swerve away. I just hailed a cab and got out of there quick. I went back up to Scotland and stayed with family for a year after that till I heard he had moved away from the city. Thankfully neither daughter nor I have seen him since, second hubby is father to daughter and she has never wanted to see biological dad - her choice she did not learn about him hitting me till she was in her 20's when a family member happened to mention it. Lost my home and all my belongings as then ( mid 70's ) domestic violence was still something police did not interfere with and as they would not come to the house with me to collect my things I had to leave them wouldn't even charge him although I was black and blue and so came away from that marriage with the clothes on my back a baby and the clothes she was wearing and now I look round and think I have to much stuff.

Just so glad you are safe hugs xxx

Thanks PAH, you were very brave to leave with a young baby. I know in the 70's there wasn't the same support especially with the police.

Mine isn't a hitter but he was emotionally and psychologically abusive. I saw a support worker after he left and did their assessment form and was stunned and very tearful when I scored so high. The only part where it was low was the physical violence. Anyway, he is trying to find out where I am and what I am doing (could never understand that, because he was the one who left)...through my DD, and because of her ASD it is stressful to say the least as I don't know what she tells him. She has also started to call me when he's in the same room and tries to join in the conversation. I just say I have to go, but it unnerves me.

Anyway, this year I am trying to do more for me and my well being, so I must remember to go to the meditation class tomorrow, although I am half talking myself out of it!

Old_Meanie

GreyQueen wrote: »

:think: Hun, I confess myself completely baffled by your post as it doesn't seem to relate to anything I've ever posted. Think you have perhaps confuzzled me with A.N.Other.

Apologies its easy to get confuddled at my age! I thought somebody posted about eastern europeans sleeping rough because of unemployment in about the east midlands area. I come from Lincolnshire hence what happened to my mother and her rough sleeping lithuaniuns. The bit about the farmer and the bike is a very old saying when we all got around on bikes and farmers who paid bad wages were always moaning about being hard up but they had cars. I must have sounded very odd. Well perhaps I am.