A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

Softstuff

Byatt wrote: »

Softstuff, good to hear from you again; sorry that you have had a virus though. Thanks for the tip for the mouldy wood; I have Googled a couple of places that seem to have something similar. Have you thought about pet sitting/dog walking?

I can't pet sit here, because we're not allowed pets in the resort and am a bit limited where I can get to for walking them, though certainly locally that isn't a bad idea. A bit concerned that anything I'd want to do would need some liability insurance which is about $600, given that the area is full of rich people who sue! All in all, working for someone else right now would be a world easier.

skintmum2012

# 2766





Gailey wanted to send you a big hug just been reading through and I so know where your coming from. I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old and they are the light of my live but omg they are hard work. My living room walls which are white by the way have got pen "Drawings" all over them all though and this might make me a bit potty I do love it as when he is older it will be something to look at and the aww lol like the big strech marks on my belly. I am also really worried about money it seems to be everything is going up and child tax credit is going down yet there is still so much they need. O the stress of being a mum yet I still want another 1 or 2 but I am not sure if that's possible XX

gailey_2

skintmum2012 wrote: »

# 2766





Gailey wanted to send you a big hug just been reading through and I so know where your coming from. I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old and they are the light of my live but omg they are hard work. My living room walls which are white by the way have got pen "Drawings" all over them all though and this might make me a bit potty I do love it as when he is older it will be something to look at and the aww lol like the big strech marks on my belly. I am also really worried about money it seems to be everything is going up and child tax credit is going down yet there is still so much they need. O the stress of being a mum yet I still want another 1 or 2 but I am not sure if that's possible XX

Thanks.

I do try and remind myself on the down days how lucky I am.
sometimes just feel bit alone as famiy 60miles away.
majority of freinds dont have kids.
as hubby works so many hours I feel the pressure to get everything done.

I know im so lucky my 3 are so cute and loving wouldent change them for the world. weekends are alwayd hard especilly when weathers bad and couldent go out today due to broken front door.

Another issue I have is a personal one. quite a disruptive hard childhood which still upsets me now.

So vowed when I had a family to give them the best childhood possible.
We were quite comfortable financially pre kids but losing an income, thinsg rising, car trouble all meants debts were accrued not huge ones but still a worry and at moment huge chunk of montly income.

Think we underestimate cost of kids.
we possibly may have 1 more but in few years time once loans paid off and youngest 2 in school im 31 now so still time.
I have 20month gap between 2-3 and its hard but rewarding.

Plus we live in quite an affluent area so dont want eldest feeling like shes poor girl at school. but she always looks fab due to my bargain hunting.cant belive shes 6next month goes far to9o fast so trying to enjoy younger 2 as they dont stay little for long.

Its just house, hubby and money getting me down.
I know we be ok we always are but in order to stay alfloat means quite a lot of hard work but determined to make 2012 good year and try and not let hubbys bad mood affect mine.

Kidcat hope doggies better soon. might ask landlord again about dog again tommorow be much better behaved and less destructive than the kids unless dog can draw and stamp on walls:rotfl:I expect he say no.

trifles

Gailey-and other stressed mums- I have a very good friend who has 2 boys who are very active,trailing in mud and generally making a mess!She also works and looks after older relatives.When I go round to visit her house is often a mess,she hasn't a showhouse,but everybody is loved.There is a great homeliness about it and it is one of my favourite places to be.
I bet that is the same in your homes-despite the chores still to be done,as others have said,you sound like a great mum.Your children will feel your love and not notice all the stuff we adults feel we 'should' be doing-try to be gentle on yourself.A toasted sandwich for tea does no harm sometimes:D

Byatt

kidcat wrote: »

Byatt when we rented I always changed locks immediately but with buying and they handed over three keys I just trusted stupidly it would seem. Could be they left a key with a relative who.didn't know, opened door and saw dog and left without shutting door again. No way anyone came in, dog is soft as butter but if someone uninvited walked over threshold he would become loud and aggressive looking.

At house before last he dived over sofa to bark at window where someone was trying to climb in, growling and barking. Think I was most scared, guy ran off but dog had never barked before so I was shaking like a leaf.
But as he is poorly tonight have moved shoe cabinet over door, with bells on top. I plan on sleeping in living room to watch over dog.

Thinking about it my dog has a totally different bark when she's serious. He sounds like a lovely dog; hope the poorly paw is better soon and not too expensive at the vets.

Byatt

Softstuff wrote: »

I can't pet sit here, because we're not allowed pets in the resort and am a bit limited where I can get to for walking them, though certainly locally that isn't a bad idea. A bit concerned that anything I'd want to do would need some liability insurance which is about $600, given that the area is full of rich people who sue! All in all, working for someone else right now would be a world easier.

I go to people's houses; either as a house sit or pop in service. Yes I do have PL insurance; it's a must for pets as well as everything else. My T&C's are a mile long! :eek: But it suits my personality and also the lack of jobs that are available!

Softstuff

Byatt wrote: »

I go to people's houses; either as a house sit or pop in service. Yes I do have PL insurance; it's a must for pets as well as everything else. My T&C's are a mile long! :eek: But it suits my personality and also the lack of jobs that are available!

I wonder how it'd go for me here... I'll certainly bear it in mind as a suggestion, thanks. I've been trying to do something though that resulted in money coming rather than it having to go out first. My budget is pretty tight and saving $600 would take some time!

I've applied for a volunteering admin position today, so will see how that goes. I really had a choice whether to give up the idea of being with hubby at the weekends and holidays or to give up the idea of being paid.... looks like I'll be budgeting well for the forseeable :rotfl:

skintmum2012

The way I see it money wise with the kids is I had everything in my childhood My dad got paid really good money I had the newest toys I had the internet as soon as it was about computers my hubby now tells me would have cost 1000"s. But my Dad was also a big drinker and took his awfull mood out on me which affected my school life I was a really unhappy child with no value of money at all. Hubby's Parents really strugled and he had a lot of stuff after all his friends did but what he did have was a family who spent time with him did not yell at him and call him horrid things and because of that he was happy. You could give a child all the toys and new clothes money can buy and unless they are loved looked after they will still be so unhappy. Where as if you love and look after them toys and new clothes really dont matter I dont think anyways.
My kids make do with toys from carboots they have second hand clothes everything in my house it second hand lol but what I do try and offer them is a knowing they are loved and the fact I always have time to spend with them as a SAHM money is soo tight but I hope when they are older they wills say ok we did not have this or that but we where loved just like what hubby does now

I hope you can have a Dog I would really love to have a Dog but my oldest has Behaviour problems not really sure what's going on we are having to see lots of DRS and stuff at the mo and I don't think it would be fair to put a dig in our househood. I am sending get well doggie vibes

VJsmum

I agree with Skintmum - the kids won't remember a tidy house or new things, they remember hugs and kisses and talks. And it doesn't get any easier as they get older. Obviously physically it does - your toddler will stop throwing washing powder around! - but mentally it gets harder if anything.

My 15 year old was up half the night fretting about school. She was off last week with a tummy bug so today is her first day back since christmas and she is dreading it. It is her GCSE year and I think it has just hit her that she has 6 months of hard slog ahead, she also has to make a decision about 6 form and A levels. Big stuff.

So the washing up didn't get done, but she won't remember that. I hope what she remembers is that when she was being a bit melodramatic and was upset, that her mum sat and talked to her for 2 hours and let her cry and made her laugh. All the "new things" in the world can't replace that.

ANyway she's gone :T and I'm sure she will come back fine. I am sat here appreciating having an empty house for a short time - though I do have tons to do. I managed to get a load of stuff listed on ebay and have decluttered some more - office has tidy shelves now and some floor space :T

Watched "The Iron Lady" yesterday - some of the footage from the 170's and 80's was astonishing!:eek: The strikes and the Poll tax demonstrations. Goodness I hope things don't go back to that again, but who knows - if things get tougher then people may rise up!

Still eating the freezer - there still don't seem to be any gaps in there though. Chicken and apricot casserole tonight - yummy. I have noticed that a lot of our food seems to be orange :rotfl:Best not have carrots with it then!:D

jackel

Hi Gailey - I endorse what others have said. The house will be there when you arn't anymore but the kids won't be kids for long.Just enjoy them.I didn't as much as I should have done Too busy worrying about keeping the house nice,their clothes spotless and generally worrying what other folks would think. I know now you can't get that wonderful time back, although life is hard. Please, please tell me to mind my own business but don't you think having a dog at this particular time is a good idea? They are wonderful but they are can be a real expense and are also extra work (housework wise and time too). Our little Jack Russel costs over £2 a week just to feed xxx