A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

gailey_2

Evening guys.


Glad I made you all chuckle with nativity story.
Was mortified she wouldent give dolly jesus back and ran to back of church screaming.
The 3kings were on their way to an empty crib.
she noticed the dolly before nativity started and one of the church staff said thats fine she can play until nativity starts as hubby kept saying oh dear shes found the lord!
We dont go chuch that often as not even our denomination just thourght it be nice at xmas as couldent get over to wales and they so child freindly. We go to the church craft clubs but very few services as toddlers so michevious.Well least my baby boy had his moment of fame and everyone was really nice about it, guess wont be forgotton in a hurry.
Dont know what came over her she was ok at christingle service last week?
Still need to paint ceiling where she caused the flood as landlords coming round to sort fire out.

Had quiet day .

tried to tidy girls room yet again and make space for toys.
went to co-op and got a few reductions but no super bargains.
Got step son until tommorow so scary 4kids today!
Felt bit deflated maybe partailly exausted today.
Mum and sister ill so dident come round was kind of thankful as house wasent to my mams standards.

Hubbys got few days off so hoping to do deep clean, paint, hubbys laying some new floor in baby boys room.

starting to make some plans for the new year and be positive.
just want to get budget straightened out and have a month with no additional expenses.

Hope everyones doing ok.

bluebag

byatt,

You made a huge investment in a marriage which didn't pan out, it's just the same as making a financial investment that goes west and there are certainly enough of those that have happened, ask anyone about the stock market crash or the dot com fiasco.

You do all the right things, but sometimes it just doesn't pay off. That makes you unlucky not poor.

You also invested your time and energy looking after your dd that is not something that shows a financial profit.

You may have no money but you are not poor. You have a dedication to others, a willingness to start again after adversity and the ability to begin investing in yourself. It's all good !

Sorry about the busted glasses and dish, I had a spell of that not long ago, hadn't broken anything in years and then just about went through the entire contents of my glass cupboard in a week:eek:

mardatha

Poor people I find are much more friendly and down to earth and NICE than the other kind! Having grand clearout here starting today - I love New Year and clear out all junk and stuff I dont use, I'm a minimalist and love that
Reading the news they think 2012 will be just as dire as every year since 2008. Keep on surviving cos it's still tough

Hobsons_Choice

Byatt, you have wealth in experience and love. Some people never achieve that in a lifetime. I have known a few wealthy people who, for one reason or another, have become miserable old s0ds that can't see beyond their own needs/wants. I wouldn't want to be like that - and where's the fun in being able to afford everything so that you don't have to look for Whoopsies or trawl through Charity Shops? Two of life's joys as far as I'm concerned (the thrill of the chase and all that). I'll never be monetary rich, but I'm all the richer for friends and, of course, reading about the funny things that happen to folk on here (Gailey, that story was wonderful)!

7_week_wonder

Morning All,

Byatt - there have been some lovely words written here. The only thing I can add is that at least you and everyone here recognizes when things are getting tight and have the resources to do something about it. In my mind that puts us streets ahead of some folk who wouldn't have a clue what to do if they lost their credit cards/jobs or worse.

Well I am tucked up in bed as my stomach has got worse. I've lost around 3 lbs in 24 hours :eek: I'm just hoping it's something I've eaten and not a bug which I might have passed on to the kiddies visiting yesterday. Never mind, OH and mum are doing a great job sorting the house ready for the next lot of visitors. OH has even volunteered to have a go at baking scones and cupcakes:T It's just a nuisance cos the weather is not too bad today and I was really hoping to get out into the garden to do a bit of tidying.

fuddle

Yes, me too. Having a nice clean and tidy and thinking about a new year. I think of it like a life detox - ridding everything that makes me miserable and bringing in the things that will help make me happier.

Be true to yourself.

Christmas was lovely in parts an awful in others. My family, enjoyed themselves, my children were lovely and appreciative, beaming smiles and DH made a super lunch on Christmas Day. My mum on the other hand was very ill. I believe she is alcohol dependant, even if she's not an alcoholic yet. She was ill so didn't drink which I believe withdrawal kicked in. She didn't eat anything for 3 days but managed to finish off a bottle of wine on Christmas day. She has had what she calls a pulled muscle for since the summer. I firmly believe she has liver disease or an inflamed liver at the very least. I have stressed over the past few days and had no sleep worrying about it. I decided that I would call her just so I can feel like I had acted and try to calm down. It was as if she knew, she told me that if she cut down on her drinking her liver would repair herself, she said she had needed a shake up and got a shock at how poorly and confused she had felt over Christmas and how ashamed of herself she had been knowing that everyone could see she was in no fit state to eat but still finished her bottle of wine. I feel better. I don't know if this is the end of it but at least she knows I know and hopefully she'll cut right back. She has a bottle of wine 4 nights a week that I know of. I suspect it may be every night. She's done this since I moved out 8 years ago. 'So she can sleep'. It leaves a lot of guilt on my part leaving her alone to get on with my life but...... isn't that what kids are meant to do, fly the nest and make a niche for themselves in the world. Se's drinking 9 units per night - women are only meant to drink 2-3, after all this time there is bound to be some organ damage. I think she has had her wake up shock and I just hope that she can stop drinking because my mum goes to nobody for help. There is no way she would get help for it if she can't do it herself. Pride comes before a fall.

So I had that phone call this morning and feel better. I have been looking into needle felting. I really fancy giving it a go but the needle holder and brush will cost me around £30 and that is before I even buy wool and felt. I shall have to save for it.

Oh, and also. I have become tea-total. I hardly ever drink anyway.

kidcat

Well done fuddle, your facing the problem is good and your mum admitting a problem is a massive step, now you can help her through and hopefully get sorted. I really advise that you go with her to visit her doctor, they can signpost vital services she can get help from and do a full health check to see if any medical intervention is required.

Got loads of washing dried on line yesterday - first time I can remember putting washing out on line in late December and it actually drying!

Off to see my friend this morning, will take some flowers and am thinking that she hates asking for help so am simply going to say tell me what you need/how I can help. Rather than the call me if you need me type of message that I know she will ignore and battle on.

Then off to visit uncle and cousins with my parents, DS had a bad day yesterday so hoping its not a sign of things to come today. Visiting again tomorrow while dad stays here and puts up my dining room curtain rails:j:j there are two sets of french UPVC doors and they are really draughty - now to pick curtains!!

Its been an odd Christmas this year and the amount of deaths I hear of has really hit a note with me, illnesses abound and it has left me with a sense that I need to get my things in order so am going to write a proper will in January, and am encouraging my OH and parents to do the same.

I am hanging onto the thought that if we have never experienced the lows of life we never truly appreciate the wonders. I reckon we must surely have some wonders to come this year.

7_week_wonder

Well done fuddle on making that call - I really hope it is the start of things improving for your mum.

kidcat wrote: »

Its been an odd Christmas this year and the amount of deaths I hear of has really hit a note with me, illnesses abound and it has left me with a sense that I need to get my things in order so am going to write a proper will in January, and am encouraging my OH and parents to do the same.

Kidcat - this has become a real soap-box of mine since my dad died so definitely go for it. Also, if you can bear it, and if the opportunity arises, try to find out if your nearest and dearest have any wishes for when they die. It helped us so much that dad had an up to date will, and also that he had specified what reading and hymns he would like and other things abut his funeral. He'd even told us the one reading we were on no account to use! (which made the priest smile, because it was a very traditional reading). It's a hard thing to discuss and we only got round to it after we'd had quite a bit to drink after a family funeral, but I'm so glad I wrote it down and kept that piece of paper.

And on a more cheerful note I think I'm going to risk getting up and doing some baking for our visitors.

Byatt

Thanks Lizzyb, bluebag, hobson's choice, 7week wonder and all the lovely people who have responded to my misery post... they have been good to read this morning and given me lots to think about. I was going to say it's not that I mind being poor, but thinking about it, I find the worrying the worst part; paying bills and so on, but I hope to be even more resourceful in 2012. I appreciate all you lovely people and the time you spend to help support me and others.

Fuddle, I hope your mum feels able to move on from the drinking. I hope you also can overcome the guilt you feel. The drinking is not your fault and has more to do with her feeling lost once she felt she had no role in life. It's very much like being made redundant from a job; what do you do once your children are grown up and gone? this doesn't mean she doesn't want you to find your own place in the world. Now that communication is open, you can perhaps ask her what would help her, as stopping drinking is not going to be easy, despite the best will in the world. I don't go to anyone for help either; no-one would know how I felt "in the real world" or how bad things are; I have however, just started talking about my situation more to family and friends, but it's just the tip of the iceberg. I know asking for help is not a weakness, but it's my learned behaviour from childhood. Difficult to change, but not impossible.

Kidcat's suggestion that you go to the Dr with her is an excellent one. :A


Woke up late this morning, and started throwing clothes on in a panic as I thought I had missed feeding the cat, then remembered I don't have to do anything till this evening. Then, called a client who thanked me for looking after their cat, and I am thinking, but I haven't been yet...totally surreal conversation, whilst I am thinking how do I tell them I hadn't done anything, when he asked for the return of the key, and I thought, I haven't got the key!! Oh no, was poor cat completely alone over Christmas?! :eek:

And then I realised; I had dialled the wrong number! He must have thought I had lost the plot!! :rotfl:


Lizzyb, what Sherlock Holmes are you catching up on? I'm looking forward to the modern take epsiodes which are on sometime over the holidays, Cumberbatch something or other. Poirot was ok...very predictable of course but doesn't require too much energy to watch!

lizzyb1812

Oops Byatt - series 1 of the latest Sherlock was on over 3 days this Christmas - I'm afraid the last one was last night I liked them a lot - there's a new one on New Year's Day on BBC1