I'm so depressed I can't even cry anymore.......

Gingernutty

Today was the first day back after a bout of diarrhoea. I work in a hospital so I had to be clear for 48 hours before I could start back to work again.

No more microwave chicken dinners for me.

I've come home to find a letter dated November 22nd, posted to me from my new Section Leader, telling me that I have "breeched" the sickness trigger and inviting me to a formal counselling session as per the Trust's Sickness Policy.

She and I have been working together today. We work one aisle apart. The meeting is next Monday. That's one working days notice.

The letter starts "Further to the letter you received regarding your sickness trigger breech in September 2011, as per procedure you are invited to attend...." etc.

I received no letter in September - although, no doubt, she will pull my personal file and prove a letter was sent.

My section is divided into three teams, each one has it's own Section Leader and each Section Leader reports to the Team Leader who is boss of the whole section.

I started a job in February 2010 having applied under the Disability Interview Guarantee Scheme.

I have a moderate to severe form of chronic depression called dysthymia.

Unfortunately, it is resistant to treatment. I'm not just allergic to a large tranche of modern antidepressants, I react very badly to a further series of them.

I am also an asthmatic and colds can leave me literally floored. I noted both these conditions (and wonky ankles which have also required time off) in my application form, have kept the Team Leader updated, have asked to be referred to Occupational Health and....................nothing.

When I tried to refer myself to OH the appointment finished with an eye test. !!??

My progress towards a major exam in March next year is so poor that I'm effectively going backwards and I'm receiving very little support.

It goes without saying that I can't stand my job, my home life is also pretty horrible and my family life is just a disaster area. There is no relief from the unrelenting misery. Which ever way I turn, my life is a barren wasteland of hopelessness.

Anyhoo........

Due to various reasons, we have been chronically short of staff for a very long while. Until very recently, the Team Leader has been Section Leader for a number of staff including me.

The TL gave out her special work mobile number which I used in September (there, you see, there's the sickness trigger breach) to text updates to her (and a friendly co-worker) when I was taken to hospital after a severe reaction to a new tablet.

That was fabby fun. When the doctors found out what I do for a living, they wouldn't let me look at the screens because I'd know what the readings meant. And, therefore, how bad mine were.

In a series of texts starting at 02:30, I kept them both up to date and why I wouldn't be in until I was given the 'all clear'.

Later that morning she walked into the office and asked where I was. She denied hearing anything from me until my co-worker reminded her of the messages. My TL even had to be reminded that, due to short staffing, she was my Section Leader/immediate line manager!

At the next team meeting, although my name wasn't specifically mentioned, we were told that text messages were not an acceptable method of notifying the team of any illness. Even though she'd given out her work mobile number for that specific purpose.

The Team Leader has refused to give me time off for an important psychotherapy appointment after, admittedly, being given very short notice at the end of the month when we are very busy.

These appointments are as rare as hens' teeth and now I've turned an appointment down, I've had to go back to the bottom of the waiting list.

I explained this to her and was still refused even though she agreed that certain members of staff (the trained and qualified) were allowed to do overtime to cover the (then) short staffing.

As a Trainee, all my work has to be checked before being signed off. The more work I do, the more work I generate for someone else to do. After the latest hirings, there are now 5 Trainees spread across the three teams.

Since joining us a few months after I started, the Team Leader has queried the doctors' diagnoses (apparently coding makes us medical experts), has queried why I need so many appointments (sometimes 4 or 5 a month) and she has insisted that I make up any time taken when even the hospital policy states that for appointments off site the allowance is two hours (I work in Walsall and live in Wolves so that's a given).

As concession, I'm allowed one hours flexi-leave a month. The rest I have to make up.

I have even taken annual leave for some appointments as they occurred in the middle of the day and I couldn't get them changed to very late or very early.

Other members of staff have noticed the way she treats me, one even going as far as to say she seems to hates me.

I'm keeping both my Section Leader and my Team Leader informed (TL still seems to doubt I was in hospital and SL wasn't appointed by then), trying to get the help I need and the union aren't an awful lot of use, simply quoting from the Sickness Policy.

I suspect my new SL hasn't a clue about the 'history' and doesn't know how her presence will modify the TL's behaviour to me. Which is noticably different in front of witnesses than it is alone with me.

My yearly apprasial was 'refereed' by another Section Leader who was 'in training' and effectively practising on me even though she wasn't my Section Leader.

Now I have this letter (referring to a letter I never received and was never referred to in any conversation so that I didn't even know I was supposed to have received it) 'inviting' me to have an interview on a 'one to one' basis with both my Section and my Team Leaders.

That's two to one against, surely?

I've got 1 day to organise a Union Rep to join me - they're all flapping about the strike next week and will be hard to get hold of.

Can anyone advise me?

duchesspink1

thats a very long post so forgive me if i'm missing something. All you need to do is speak to whomever sent you the letter and tell them that you are surprised this meeting has been triggered as you've not had a prior letter. They should send you letters like that by recorded delivery and because they didn't, then they have no proof that you have received it.

they will be wrong to go further with the interview without furnishing you with a copy of the initial letter.

If you feel you are in the right however, why not just attend the interview and say what you've said here

VfM4meplse

duchesspink1 wrote: »

If you feel you are in the right however, why not just attend the interview and say what you've said here

Agreed.

I do feel for you, but I think things will be easier if you work constructively with your line manager to find a way of working around your dysthymia. Remember that there will be pressure on the section leader to deliver the work, regardless of staffing problems.

Don't stress though hun and try to get a decent night's sleep. Deep breaths before the meeting.

Mistral001

Gingernutty wrote: »

"Further to the letter you received regarding your sickness trigger breech in September 2011, as per procedure you are invited to attend...." etc.

Are you sure it said "received" If they write letters like that they know nothing about letter writing. How do they know you received it. Did you write back to say that you have received it or did you tell them that you received it. It should have "been further to our letter (we sent) to you of xxth September 2011.

That is perhaps a small point, so sorry I cannot help any futher.

Norman_Castle

I suspect my new SL hasn't a clue about the 'history' and doesn't know how her presence will modify the TL's behaviour to me.

Use this as an opportunity to tell your section leader of any health issues and ask about time off for appointments. Don't assume your section leader will be working together with your team leader. As your team leader seems unpleasant towards you, target your responses to the section leader. If you feel the team leaders behaviour towards you is unfair and it continues, speak to the section leader in private. Good luck.

Gingernutty

I have had a prior 'formal counselling session' with the Team Leader during the mayhem of last Winter (three bad colds and Norovirus in quick succession ).

We were so badly affected by Norovirus that we had to shut to visitors. Staff all over the hospital were being knocked over like skittles as the patients were sick everywhere.

I'm so badly affected by my depression it's as if I work in slow motion. I can't reply fast enough, I've lost any get up and go and simply can't hold an assertive stance. I need someone with me, on my side and 'up to speed'.

Without anyone fighting my corner, my TL steamrollered over me.

I had to promise not to go off sick again within the following six months. :think:

That, of course, has bitten the dust after September and now this diarrhoea thing is going to trigger another 'breech' as well. Terrific. _pale_

That is a verbatim transcript from the letter I have in front of me. I apparently have received the letter in September although it does have my address misspelt and the wrong postcode.

I'll try to find one of the Union Reps tomorrow.

Before the morning's urgent work and the two and a half hour mandatory team meeting......seriously, it couldn't have come at a worse time.

Janey3

So sorry to hear you are having these difficulties -no advice I can give other to say that in my opinion it is a shoddy letter that has been written i.e. breech? for goodness sake! Someone in their capacity should know the difference between breech and breach.

Janeyx

Gingernutty

Janey3 wrote: »

So sorry to hear you are having these difficulties -no advice I can give other to say that in my opinion it is a shoddy letter that has been written i.e. breech? for goodness sake! Someone in their capacity should know the difference between breech and breach.

Janeyx

I'm a dyslexic and even I know it should be breach. I'm using quote marks although I am using singles ' '. Should I be using doubles (" ")?

Anyhoo........ I'm afraid she's very young, possibly too immature and will end up agreeing with the Team Leader.

I need back-up.

Mistral001

It is possible that you have been working while ill with depression. The physical illness bouts have perhaps confused things to such an extent that your depression has not actually been addressed properly. I suspect if it was a straight-forward case of depression you would be signed off sick for maybe a couple of months for treatment and then come back when you had recovered sufficiently to be able to go back to work. You need to make sure that your health issues are being addressed properly. Your employer will want to do that. If this team leader does not want to do it, the people further up the chain of management will.

PS. Make sure you look after yourself. There will be people in the NHS who will be totally on your side. You just have not been dealing with many of them of late it would seem.

Gingernutty

So anyway.....

I arrived at work [STRIKE]today[/STRIKE] yesterday and found the first Union Rep I could lay hands on.

When she heard what I needed, she told me what I already knew - that all three Union Reps on site are too busy with the actual strike on Wednesday to be of any use to me.

I went to my office and showed my Section Leader the letter and told her that I had only had one working day's notice, that it referred to a letter I know I hadn't received and that it was misaddressed.

She brought me over to the Team Leader, who didn't even turn round when she said that she could manage Wednesday at 09:00 and she wasn't going to move it any further.

Section Leader pointed out that she wasn't going to be in on Wednesday and Team Leader announced that the meeting was set at Thursday at 10am.

The 'missing' letter? Well that had to be taken up with HR as it was their issue.

All this was shouted backwards, out through the door of the Team Leader's cubicle as she was very busy getting a misspelt PowerPoint presentation ready for the mandatory team meeting.

Section Leader duly typed off another letter (this time with the address correct), sealed it in an envelope and then handed it to me across the aisle.

I found the Union Rep and told her that I managed to get the meeting changed. Yay me!

She wasn't happy. She'd found someone to meet me for Monday. Leave it with her.

So I carried on with work, went to a two and a half hour mandatory meeting (with lunch) and went back to work after lunch.

After getting back to the office it was close to 3pm.

When I went to look up who to contact in HR there was just a wall of names on our Intranet site.

With no idea who they all are or what they are responsible for I picked out all the HR Officers (not the Technicians, Advisors, Managers, Directors or Administrators) and wrote an email to them all.

I got one reply. I was told that the lady who will be dealing with me is out of office and will deal with my query next week.

The Union Rep was also out of office but sent a text telling me that he'll see me 09:00 Monday morning with all the paperwork.

I've got a load of stuff to do today, I'm going down to London to see family on Sunday (public transport, as I can't drive) and I'll be knackered on Monday morning.

I'm dreading the next few days.......:(

Yorkie1

What you've described is bound to take it out of you mentally / emotionally. You're under an immense amount of pressure and this takes its toll. You've done really well; look back at what you did manage to achieve yesterday and congratulate yourself.

Difficult to do, but try to listen to what your body is telling you over the weekend. Try to give yourself the time you need to relax, don't push yourself too hard. You will get through this, just be kind to yourself in the meantime.