I'm so depressed I can't even cry anymore.......

chocolatebar2009

"am up to my eyeballs in weight, money, family issues, house repairs and commuting hassles but still, one thing at a time."

Blimey what a mouthfull and experience you have endured, it seems to me you have achieved a result-That in itself must be a positive aspect you should be proud of......
I to have weight issues, money problems, work issues, but please remember that you must love and respect yourself, you are a beutiful person inside and a beutiful person on the outside, please always reemember that?

ktothema

Gingernutty, really sorry things haven't improved for you. This may sound strange but does where you work have a short term and long term sickness policy? I know nhs isn't the same as local government, but there can be similarities. In my old place depression and other illnesses covered by the equality act were treated under the long term policy (as well as other long term illnesses) and "normal" sickness covered under the short term policy.

You'd think HR would know, but in my experience (twice at two different places) they didn't, and ended up with the legal team informing them of their duties under the equality act (or disabilities act for the first). At my last place they ended up with an agreement with the legal team that any illness resulting from my mental health issues could not trigger the short term policy, however 2 bouts of the flu in 13 weeks could.

It may be worth checking it out at your place and getting HR to look into it for you with a legal team or someone else. If your breaches are due to one bout depression and one dodgy tummy for instance, it may not been seen as a technical breach. OH are also a good point to get this checked.

My current place, whilst not local government, also treat illnesses covered under the equalities act differently from "normal" illness. They only have 10 employees too. Same with my Aunt's similarly sized private sector company, so it cant be that unstandard.

Gingernutty

Thank you both for your kind words.

In answer to your post ktothema, I have breached 2 out of the 3 criteria - the third would be for long term absence.

The problem I have is that the sickness has been for 'flu, weird side effects and (the latest) post viral labyrinthitis - there was just one depression related sickness absence and even that wasn't for depression so much as the tablet side effects.

I'll bring it up with my TL on Monday, she made no mention of it today. Our team are due our regular 1-2-1 sessions, so I fully expect it to be brought up then.

princessdon

I can't offer any advice worth noting but wanted to say

You are an inspiration to all those to claim benefits and refuse to work, you are strong, resiliant and practical.

I just really hope it works out for you

Gingernutty

princessdon wrote: »

I can't offer any advice worth noting but wanted to say

You are an inspiration to all those to claim benefits and refuse to work, you are strong, resiliant and practical.

:rotfl: I wish I felt inspirational!

princessdon wrote: »

I just really hope it works out for you

So do I.........:(

patman99

Don't worry about being audited. Where I work, they are always auditing. Mind you, this is normally concerning area tidyness.
What we have the most worry about are external audits from the likes of ANVISA and the FDA. They can really go to town on us (in the case of the FDA, they gave one of our sister plants a warning letter last month).

I know all about working with depression, although luckily I now have only a few 'blue days' now.

Read your other thread about labrynthitus, I had it a few years ago and was off work for a week. Luckily, at the time, my OH had been suffering from similar symptoms for 18 months or so, so when the Dr came he looked at her tablets and told me to take 1 straight away.

Gingernutty

Thanks patman99, however, the audits are for the work I produce which affect league tables, general statistics available to the public and income.

As I didn't take the exam, I'm still a trainee. All my work is handed over to more senior members of my team who check the work - all of a sudden, I'm getting dozens of these audited files back asking me to justify, reorder and delete data entries.

That's another thing to bring up at the next 1-2-1 - how come if all my work's being checked, I'm getting these audits back?

The labyrinthitis just came completely out of the blue. I went back to work after a week and even now, over a month later, I'm still getting the odd 'woozy' spell. Every now and again I have to walk away from the computer screen because flipping between windows or scrolling up and down is hard on the eyes. The tinnitus is still a problem too.

I was on betahistine - which, to me, didn't make a noticeable difference but was safer then the usually prescribed stemetil.

Ah well, such is life.....

Gingernutty

Okay, here's the thing.

If, after you've lit a fire/had a barbeque or have an old boiler in the house and you realise you've got a banging headache, look in the mirror.

If, once you look in the mirror, you see your face flushed a strange red colour - GO TO THE HOSPITAL.

Do not pass Go. Do not call the out of hours GP. Don't bother NHSDirect.

Just go to A&E.

You are in the acute phase of carbon monoxide poisoning and require hyperbaric oxygen therapy.

Don't do what I did.

Which was realise what was wrong but as the fire was out by this stage I just opened a few windows to get some fresh air in and thought that was that.

No.

That was not that.

Days later, my liver has had to try to break down the busted red blood cells (with the carbon monoxide loaded haemaglobin) and I am suffering the after effects.

My blood pressure is through the roof, my short term memory is quite poor and what are referred to as my fine motor skills have gone for a long walk.

I'm chewing the cutlery trying to feed myself, shoelaces are hard, holding a pen is a challenge, I'm tripping over my feet, bumping into things, tapping stuff out on a keyboard is taking far longer than it would normally and everything tastes weird.

I had to go to A&E yesterday after I arrived in work after I almost broke my neck getting on and off the escalators to my floor.

Something was going really wrong.

A blood gas test showed that a week after I set the fire in an old fireplace, I've still got carbon monoxide in my system. I don't smoke and I don't go where there is smoke.

My liver is going to be trying to break down these old poisoned red blood cells for the next two weeks and I'm going to be 'off'/not right/feeling like cr*p for a week or so after that.

And I'm still trying to work. And I'm falling waaaaaaay behind.

I was off last week. There was a bad tempered team meeting where new targets were set (100% every day?! :eek:) and now I've got to catch up. !!!!!!? :huh:

My Team Leader, communicating with notes written on Post-Its and status reports, wanted everything completed today.

A colleague kindly offered this morning to do some of the inputting but turned around twenty minutes before she left this afternoon and handed it to me undone saying she couldn't get around to it. :eek:

All that work is going to show up as not done on tomorrow's status report even if I come in at 07:00 to catch up.

This has taken close to an hour to write. I swear I'm going backwards.

trevorsminted

I think reading all these rambling posts you should seriously put your health first and go to your gp and get signed off, all this ailments im wonder if you are clinically depressed and not possibly suffering manic depression and possibly slight hypocondria, i can see why your dept would think you are wasting time as you at the moment seem totally absorbed in negativity and 'all against you', take a deep breath and see not all doom and gloom and woe is me, it will get better!

Gingernutty

trevorsminted wrote: »

I think reading all these rambling posts you should seriously put your health first and go to your gp and get signed off, all this ailments im wonder if you are clinically depressed and not possibly suffering manic depression and possibly slight hypocondria, i can see why your dept would think you are wasting time as you at the moment seem totally absorbed in negativity and 'all against you', take a deep breath and see not all doom and gloom and woe is me, it will get better!

I'm a unipolar depressive. No mania. The CO poisoning has been confirmed.

I'm not paranoid either. No one is happy in my section. It's not just me.