Real Life MMD: Should I pay extra tenner for hotel blunder?

jonesy1976

Pay it, but just spend £10 less on a wedding gift later. No one will be the wiser except you!

ASR

I'm arranging a stag night away myself and know how difficult it is to predict exactly how much it will all cost, especially when exact numbers aren't definite and some people will be 'maybes' until they know the price.
In this situation it may be worth suggesting if other friends (or friends of friends) could be invited to refill the hotel rooms and bring the cost down, or remind those who cancelled that it would cost those still going more and see if they would change their mind.
If I had already said I would go based on the original details/price then I wouldn't complain or cancel on the basis of another £10.

cheerful

I suggest you disregard any hard and fast yes or no from any of the responses because you have not given us enough information to make any sensible suggestion.
How much is the trip costing you already?
How many people are going?
How much deposit are the couple losing?
How well off are the couple.
Are fewer people going because they said yes then pulled out or did the couple guess the numbers?
Why did you agree to go? Friendship? Weekend break? Social pressure?
Perhaps if you consider some of these questions you will come to your own conclusion.

TimBear

I am in a similar situation. We have booked a holiday between friends for next year, we've all paid deposits and now two can't go which has meant the holiday provider has had to change the whole booking for some reason.

Anyway, now we are each having to pay around £80 more which I am FUMING about! It's the principle to me - they said they'd go now they've decided they're not, why is that my fault? I agreed to go on this (already expensive!) holiday when it was x amount and now it's more through no fault of my own.

If I for whatever reason could no longer go, there is no way I would expect the others to cover my share!

My partner says there's nothing we can do and just to pay up because it's 'nothing compared to what the holiday cost'. I want to speak to the friend who's not going any more but my partner says he just definitely won't pay it and it'll cause problems.

So, it's a tricky one because if I don't pay then I don't go, and I really want to go there. But I think it's cheeky for this person to expect us to carry the burden because they have pulled out!

To be honest, I think I will just pay it and budget accordingly

In the case of the original question, if it was a massive problem I would ask if someone could sub me until the next pay day and then just cut back on a couple of drinks or a trip to the cinema before the trip to make up for the extra spend.

groovygarden

In this case it is only a tenner, so yes, I'd pay up. If money is tight maybe have a few soft drinks when you're out.

The wider issue though is that people getting married don't always consider how much their wedding is costing their guests. By the time you've gone on a hen do (some of my friends have had two!), bought an outfit, bought a present, travelled to the wedding, bought drinks and paid for a hotel you're looking at hundred of pounds.

Most of my friends are really considerate, and luckily my finances are quite healthy these days, but when I went to a flurry of post-university weddings and only had a new graduate's salary, it was a struggle sometimes.

I've organised a couple of hen dos for close friends and have always made sure I've kept things as cheap as possible, and given people plenty of options (eg: skip the spa, join us for dinner) so they can manage the costs.

morg_monster

Not sure what the answer is but a similar thing happened on DH's stag, best man didn't get a firm 100% concrete committed yes from every guest before paying for things that were non-refundable. He told everyone they would have to pay £X based on the number of people who had originally said they'd go, when it came time to book quite a few dropped out and the choice was either ask everyone for more cash, or stump up himself. He actually stumped up himself which was quite a lot really, a good few hundred quid I think. It wasn't a massively expensive do, but was over a weekend, and about 10-15 people going. The main thing was he'd booked a coach from London to Cardiff, as the number of people who'd originally said they were going to go made it more cost-effective than all going on the train...

We didn't find out that he'd paid so much extra until a while after the wedding, when we commented to some friends that we were a little surprised not to have received a wedding gift from our best man, and they told us what had happened. It had left him in a bit of a hole at the time, but he does earn quite a lot (just also spends a lot...) so he wasn't out of pocket for very long. Oops.

milvusvestal

I should lose friends like that as quickly as possible, if I were you.

The choice of reception venue was theirs entirely and it's no fault of yours if they over-estimated their popularity. Indeed, the knowledge that some guests have declined the invitation and can't be bothered to show up must tell you something about how others view them.

Unless you have a burning desire to celebrate with them on the night, keep your hands firmly in your pockets. You don't owe them anything.

moxxy-girl

Yes it's a bit annoying - but it's only £10 and when you consider what is spent on booze on stag nights then it's not worth risking your friendship.:A

bluejay994u2_2

It may only be a Tenner by why should you have to pay for their mistake. If they had integrity they would take the hit themselves as they made the mistake.

I would discuss it with them and they need to understand how their actions have affected everyone else.

If they are really good friends then they will listen, if they are not, then I wouldn't go either.

morg_monster

"Indeed, the knowledge that some guests have declined the invitation and can't be bothered to show up must tell you something about how others view them."

Harsh!! The year we got married we had 8 other weddings to attend. DH got invited to most of the stag dos for these, he couldn't go to them all.