A few months and several questions

RosaBernicia

I got out of work at 2 today because I just announced I was taking back the time I was owed to work on my essay .

Then I came home, spent 15 mins in the garden - this is now my 'switching modes' thing, since if I do something for the garden or house before I start working I don't feel so resentful - and found I was wiped out and needed a nap. Thought I'd curl up on the sofa for 20 mins and woke up 4 hours later .

Clearly I needed the sleep, and I suspect it's delayed reaction to stressing last week. But it means that by the time I'd cooked and had a bath I haven't done any essay work. So I will be a couple of days later than I wanted by the time that gets sent in.

However, it's still in reasonable time and I am still calm and have a plan. So not disastrous - just need to make sure I get out on time tomorrow. And I need to focus on essay work, even just plodding through getting stuff drafted. I would love to do this bit by bit and possibly even hand it in early. It would be such a major change of style for me and a real achievement in learning to manage my anxiety levels.

Sadly I've decided that in order to do that I need to limit my time on MSE (and also Facebook). I'm very easily distracted by them both and I just don't have the time spare at the moment. So I will be around every 3 days or so rather than hanging out here most evenings. Not forever - I'll be back more in September when I start to figure out the next phase of my DF journey and the rest of my life!


Rosa xx

RosaBernicia

Swearing off FB has freed up a worrying amount of my time. I may have to continue this as an every-other-day rule.

In money stuff... phone is now successfully switched to GiffGaff, which should hopefully save me at least £15 a month and possibly £20.

However, raided Waitrose on Sunday as realised I haven't been eating properly again (partly thanks to the idiot cereal company who decided to stop making my favourite one, and partly just to work being silly). Was worth it to start getting back in good habits.

Essay is progressing although in a different way than I had expected. Seems I am learning a new set of coping mechanisms lol. The old method used to be 'can't face worrying about it for weeks as will just end up convinced it's not right anyway, therefore write in mad panic before deadline'. Which saves anxiety to some extent, but relies on brain working under pressure. This time I have been having trouble writing sections from scratch, so have worked from big picture downwards, working out what section follows what, what size, and which refs I need to use where. Feels unusual but good, as now I know I just need to follow my own instructions. Sending outline to tutor for comments later tonight, going to library tomorrow, then hopefully have draft done in first few days of Aug.

Have tidied and reshuffled garden, probably having people round for late drinks on Sat. Still slowly decluttering stuff - I seem to have moved here with far more than I need so hoping to get a few more boxes sorted in the next couple of weeks plus a few bags off to the charity shop. Sorting clothes can be an autumn job once essay is done and same for allotment (which I have remembered I wanted in order to get some stuff out of the garden).

Payday on Friday so can check the Waitrose damage then


Rosa xx

vasseur

Loving the new plan for the essay writing. If it feels good and is less stressful than it doesn't matter which method you use.:)

RosaBernicia

Thanks Poles :A it's a real attitude adjustment for me here, I am proud of myself for just managing to do anything, instead of beating myself up over how it won't be good enough. Funny how we/ I? can get stuck in a rut - last year I met someone who said if she got more than 51% for anything, she was annoyed as it meant she'd put too much effort into that and not enough into having fun :rotfl: I nearly fell over in shock, it had never occurred to me to work like that instead of trying to do my absolute best at everything :eek: ... so now I'm trying to think more like that!


Forgot to mention the dent in the budget that also results from the fabulous new Lush make-up launch though I needed mascara anyway and as I just never buy make-up, I don't feel very guilty. Am actually just thrilled to be able to buy fab properly natural make-up :T

However, my car insurance appears to have dropped by 50% :j which is marvellous, so that will make up for some of it. I guess having a driveway here and remembering to adjust the car value down really helped (it has dropped a lot since I bought it, but I forgot to amend the quote info on all the comparison sites). I can also drop the amount I save every month so that will help too - it's about an extra £10 a month back in the pot.


Rosa xx

vasseur

:T to fab new make-up. That reminds me that I need to get some more. My perfect eyeliner that I use for my top lids has run out and the cheapy one I bought to replace it is so soft I end up looking like Barbara Cartland

Thanks for mentioning adjusting car value when getting insurance quotes. This is the thing I never do so I must remember that when I come to renew, particularly as I have 3 points on my license now.

RosaBernicia

Well I think I know where all the money went :mad:

• £25 train ticket to city, to get to library
• £35 print and copying (£23 of that on a PhD thesis which can't be accessed any other way and the only alternative was going back again and viewing it in the library, so would have cost as much for another train ticket - spent it anyway as the field I am looking at is so small I need all the references I can get). Much as I love that library and their wonderful staff, the copy costs are horrendous.
• £40 on key textbook. I borrowed this from a membership library last year, but I want the new edition right away for the full time to submission and it would cost me a tenner for the postage or petrol anyway. Couldn't decide to be delighted or irritated that it turns out to have a really helpful chapter that I somehow didn't notice during the meltdown last year. Anyway, suppose I can always sell it on.
• £12 ish on drinks and food in the cafe (it's lovely stuff, but expensive, and I couldn't be bothered carrying stuff there when it's a 3 hour journey in the heat)
• £15 on M&S supper when it turned out train home delayed by over 1 1/2 hours and still slow running. I got home after midnight :mad: which was not part of the plan. (And the cat was not impressed at missing his tea :rotfl:)

Grrrrrrr.

Am sooo glad I don't live in the city any more.

This masters better get me a pay rise!


Rosa xx

RosaBernicia

polesalot wrote: »

:T to fab new make-up. That reminds me that I need to get some more. My perfect eyeliner that I use for my top lids has run out and the cheapy one I bought to replace it is so soft I end up looking like Barbara Cartland

Thanks for mentioning adjusting car value when getting insurance quotes. This is the thing I never do so I must remember that when I come to renew, particularly as I have 3 points on my license now.

https://www.lush.co.uk/emotionalbrilliance/ :j:D

Am really impressed with the mascara - which can also be used as liquid liner - thought it was going to be ethical but a bit rubbish and I was wrong! Goes on without clumping and doesn't smudge. (Well it has a bit today, but that's because I was trying to sleep on the train after the signal failure saga.)

And the lip stuff is fab too - sooo much pigment but feels like lip balm.


Rosa xx

RosaBernicia

Weeeell I was right about missing target on the overdraft by £190

Still, all transfers now done leaving me with a total debt of £9,878 (embarrassingly, that's about the £190 more than last month) and a net status of £8,926.

It also gave me a lovely feeling when I was looking for the other credit card bills to pay... and realised that I don't have them any more :j

In moneysaving news... have gone through clothes earmarked to go out, and pulled several things back to the wardrobe after all. Thinking if I can just avoid spending on clothes until I'm DF... The car insurance and service etc should be about covered with the relevant savings pot. Sadly having been to the dentist this week I need two fillings which if I want them in white (and I do) will cost me £200 . So will figure out how to do that over the next couple of months.

Am suddenly inspired to declutter the flat and have been shuffling things around - after having to go through all my papers in case I had a copy of the reference I need, that was the last kind of major job and all the other bits can be done in half-hour chunks. So am hoping to have the flat much more tidied by the end of Aug and then have a total ME time for Sep once the essay is handed in... time to sort out my wardrobe, spend ridiculous amounts of time in the bath and decide what next

The cat is very happy now he's getting to go outside, and brought me a present yesterday... sadly dead fledglings are not something I fully appreciate. So we have had a conversation about how mice are not welcome in residential areas and would be a much more popular choice of cat hunting practice than songbirds. Dunno if any of this sank in :rotfl: but am thinking perhaps not having a catflap is actually rather a good idea... wouldn't fancy coming home to dismantled bird all round the flat. I do think he'd like to have a buddy to play with, but now want to be away in Sep, so will have to think about timing.

Still feeling like progress so still good :j


Rosa xx

RosaBernicia

I have a job interview :j
(this rather surprised me as I only did the application at 10 last night ie. 2 hrs before the deadline, didn't research the place properly, and rambled a bit on the form :rotfl:)

I have remembered just how long it is since I've done one of those :eek::eek:

But it's good. Was beginning to think what next, just didn't expect anything to pop up so soon. Will put proper effort into the interview though as am convinced I can do this and do it well. Would also be a bit more money (enough to get DF by end of 2013 in current situation) and still permanent NHS contract. And relates to one of my earlier degrees. So not many like that about... which is why I did finally decide to put an application in. I obviously need the interview practice at least


Money situation going OK - given up on saving money on food til essay is done, but am not going out so it evens out. Should have remembered this from previous times as I used to just fill the freezer before major deadlines :rotfl: Probably going to pay out £75 for new referencing software as just got special offer email and it will save a lot of hair-tearing at the end of the month. (Seriously - I know these things are expensive, but that software is worth every penny in stress reduction.)

Essay making progress - am pleased to find that I'm not as nervous of it as I think I am (if that makes any sense at all) and am almost getting to enjoy it again. Which is lovely - I feel recovered, and I feel like me again. There's nothing to say I won't have another minor meltdown before the deadline, but at least now I am pretty convinced it will be minor if at all and that I will at least pass.

Had email from allotment people politely pointing out that they'd like me to do something with it. Was going to decide after essay done but am already tempted to just give it up. I have so much more space in the garden that I think that will be enough to keep my green fingers occupied, and I think my plans for next spring will probably not be allotment focused. Still, will think about it for a couple of days before I reply.

Am putting together list of things to do once essay is over and am looking forward to it. Will be taking September off to basically pamper myself and have some trips out. Then may go back to pole class in Oct. Lots of reading to do over the winter evenings and social life will be tackled, possibly even with online dating

So more progress :T

Rosa xx

vasseur

Good luck with the interview (if you haven't already had it). How exciting! Remember - what's meant to be won't pass you by. Applies to everything