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A few months and several questions

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  • :coffee:
    Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming...;)
    Nora.x
  • vasseur
    vasseur Posts: 3,090 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker PPI Party Pooper Debt-free and Proud!
    Just keep thinking that it will all be done by next week then you can sit back and settle in properly :)
    It's not how far you fall - it's how high you bounce back.... :j
    Happiness is not a destination - it's a journey :)
  • RosaBernicia
    RosaBernicia Posts: 4,909 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    :coffee:
    Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming...;)
    Nora.x
    polesalot wrote: »
    Just keep thinking that it will all be done by next week then you can sit back and settle in properly :)

    Head is still above water and am gulping less of it than before. Lovely landlord has offered to sort the bed that won't come apart for me and I think the rest I can get done. I don't think I can rely on friend-who-was-going-to-help to be any use even if he does decide he's feeling up to helping on the weekend, so will check that another friend can help if necessary. There are only a couple of things that really need two pairs of hands. Am bl**dy cross about it though - I know he's upset, but so am I and he knows it. Am I being particularly unfair by thinking that having the umpteenth break-up with someone who's been saying from the start they don't want a relationship doesn't quite rank up with bereavement and house move? And why is it that I feel bad about asking for help even when I've been let down and left really struggling, while he doesn't feel abashed about whining to all and sundry? :think:

    Oh and I met a new neighbour earlier who seems nice and tells me the upstairs ones are too. So hopefully it will all work out. Have phone line sorted - must get actual phone as batteries have died in old one - and internet on way :T

    Must dash more later

    Rosa xx
    Debt free May 2016... DFW#2 in progress
    Campervan paid off summer '21... MFW progress tbc
  • kerri_dfw
    kerri_dfw Posts: 4,556 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Head is still above water and am gulping less of it than before. Lovely landlord has offered to sort the bed that won't come apart for me and I think the rest I can get done. I don't think I can rely on friend-who-was-going-to-help to be any use even if he does decide he's feeling up to helping on the weekend, so will check that another friend can help if necessary. There are only a couple of things that really need two pairs of hands. Am bl**dy cross about it though - I know he's upset, but so am I and he knows it. Am I being particularly unfair by thinking that having the umpteenth break-up with someone who's been saying from the start they don't want a relationship doesn't quite rank up with bereavement and house move? And why is it that I feel bad about asking for help even when I've been let down and left really struggling, while he doesn't feel abashed about whining to all and sundry? :think:

    Oh and I met a new neighbour earlier who seems nice and tells me the upstairs ones are too. So hopefully it will all work out. Have phone line sorted - must get actual phone as batteries have died in old one - and internet on way :T

    Must dash more later

    Rosa xx
    Oh dear lawdy, grab a frying pan... smack him on the back of the head with it... tell him there's better things in life to mope about... afterall he could be dead. (I really don't mean that in an insensitive way but seriously!!!)

    I thought your friend was all upset because of a bereavement or terminal illness or something, not because of some ruddy breakup. You've just had real heartbreak and on top of that you have to move house by yourself because he's crying over someone that won't kiss his twinky anymore?!?! PFTT!

    Defo pan to the head!

    I hope you find someone more reliable to help Rosa, afterall it must be what? one hour? that they have to spare out of their lives.

    Mahooosive hugs *hugs*
    Diary: Getting back on track for 2013 and beyond
    DEBT FREE 13-10-13 :dance::dance::dance::dance::dance:
    Beautiful daughter born 11.1.14
    Mortgage: [STRIKE]£399,435.91[/STRIKE] £377218.83
    Deposit loan from Dad: £9000[STRIKE]£10000[/STRIKE]
  • Yeah...like what Kerri said!! *puts on her 'annoyed with Rosa's carpy friend' hat*
  • ZTD
    ZTD Posts: 24,327 Forumite
    Head is still above water and am gulping less of it than before.

    :T
    Lovely landlord has offered to sort the bed that won't come apart for me and I think the rest I can get done.

    :T
    I don't think I can rely on friend-who-was-going-to-help to be any use even if he does decide he's feeling up to helping on the weekend, so will check that another friend can help if necessary. There are only a couple of things that really need two pairs of hands. Am bl**dy cross about it though - I know he's upset, but so am I and he knows it.

    :grouphug:
    Am I being particularly unfair by thinking that having the umpteenth break-up with someone who's been saying from the start they don't want a relationship doesn't quite rank up with bereavement and house move?

    Have you ever asked the question of him: If this is how he reacts, is it no wonder she doesn't want a relationship?
    And why is it that I feel bad about asking for help even when I've been let down and left really struggling,

    Because subconciously you think it's your fault, and you shouldn't need any help, and it's a failing you don't have 4 hands, two of which can reach 10 feet away.

    Just like some of the dodgier blokes in nightclubs...
    while he doesn't feel abashed about whining to all and sundry? :think:

    That's because he has had a manliness bypass...
    Oh and I met a new neighbour earlier who seems nice and tells me the upstairs ones are too. So hopefully it will all work out.

    :T
    Have phone line sorted - must get actual phone as batteries have died in old one

    Also buy one of those cheap supermarket fixed-line ones. The other DECT ones don't work in a power cut. That can be unfortunate.
    - and internet on way :T

    :T
    Must dash more later

    Rosa xx

    :T
    "Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
    "We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
    "Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky."
    OMD 'Julia's Song'
  • kerri_dfw
    kerri_dfw Posts: 4,556 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    ZTD wrote: »
    Have you ever asked the question of him: If this is how he reacts, is it no wonder she doesn't want a relationship?
    For some reason I assumed it was a man that he was upset about by his reaction :|
    Diary: Getting back on track for 2013 and beyond
    DEBT FREE 13-10-13 :dance::dance::dance::dance::dance:
    Beautiful daughter born 11.1.14
    Mortgage: [STRIKE]£399,435.91[/STRIKE] £377218.83
    Deposit loan from Dad: £9000[STRIKE]£10000[/STRIKE]
  • ZTD
    ZTD Posts: 24,327 Forumite
    kerri_dfw wrote: »
    For some reason I assumed it was a man that he was upset about by his reaction :|

    Now that's possible.

    Though a good bout of hard lifting would help him in any case.

    As would a slap or two...
    "Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
    "We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
    "Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky."
    OMD 'Julia's Song'
  • Lula-Hula
    Lula-Hula Posts: 7,868 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Hey lovely,

    just popping by to wish you much happiness in your new home
    xx
  • RosaBernicia
    RosaBernicia Posts: 4,909 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Yeah...like what Kerri said!! *puts on her 'annoyed with Rosa's carpy friend' hat*
    :rotfl: :T

    ZTD wrote: »
    Have you ever asked the question of him: If this is how he reacts, is it no wonder she doesn't want a relationship?

    :rotfl: it has been occurring to me during the fuming - haven't found even remotely tactful way of breaching it yet. Nor of saying 'well perhaps if you listened to what the other person was actually saying instead of what you wanted to hear, the relationship might be different'. Funnily enough I pay no attention to his relationship advice and suspect I will not be listening to the 'you must be kind to yourself' stuff I have been told over the last few days. Yes, I need to be a little more realistic about some timescales and to schedule in some rest, but I don't want to wind up the kind of self-centred twerp who takes a week off work and ditches friends in real bother to sit about and feel sorry for myself over an ego bruise. Yes, I know he has issues, so do we all and some of us just have to get on with things regardless.

    ZTD wrote: »
    Because subconciously you think it's your fault, and you shouldn't need any help, and it's a failing you don't have 4 hands

    :eek: ow. That was irritatingly accurate.

    kerri_dfw wrote: »
    For some reason I assumed it was a man that he was upset about by his reaction :|

    :rotfl: Couldn't possibly comment for reasons of diplomacy ;)


    I still think pan to the head is well deserved and in short will not be relying on him for anything ever again. I thought I'd figured this out as he never does stick to commitments, it's always a case of turning up when I've done 3/4 of the work and expecting to be congratulated - I really did think he'd get his a$$ in gear this time though given everything else that's going on for me. I shall just stick him back in the 'entertaining but unreliable and essentially self-centred' category and focus on developing other friendships. It's particularly carp in comparison with the friend who did help out last Sat for about 8 hours, packing up and the works, despite the fact she's been working 12 hour days for weeks, and the one who is 3 hrs away by train and immediately said she'd be here already if only it wouldn't get her fired.

    He did redeem himself slightly last night as he decided he could manage to help move the stuff I'd already sorted including two bits that would have been difficult by myself. So at least that got done and tonight I'm just clearing one more room and doing a bit of cleaning. I think I should be able to finish the last one off tomorrow and pick up the bedframe at the same time. Then the garden bits get moved on Sat - probably mostly by me again, though have had the offer of help and will be checking that another friend can be around if necessary - and I intend to flaming well have Sunday off.

    Can't wait to have broadband again I miss you lot :o :A

    Rosa xx
    Debt free May 2016... DFW#2 in progress
    Campervan paid off summer '21... MFW progress tbc
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