Real life MMD: Should my friend keep the cash for my dress?

Talent

She is not your friend. Simples.

ibanezzer

I had a very similar situation with my best friend of 15 years. She owed my £50 from a holiday we went on in 2008. I put off asking her for it as she was unemployed, then when she got a job, i felt too awkward to ask for it as so much time had passed. But it always bothered me as she said she would pay when she got a job. So this year, while struggling a bit financially, I politely asked her for it and she argued until she was blue in the face about why she shouldn't have to pay me. She did pay in the end, but with no grace. We aren't friends anymore. Which is really sad but I'm glad I asked her as it showed that to her £50 was more important than staying friends.

Ask yourself whether its worth possibly losing your friendship over £30. If not, then ask yourself if you will be able to let the matter lie in your mind.

Ebenezer_Screwj

Yes. Keep on asking her, reminding her each time how often you have had to jog her failing memory. Go to her store and ask for your money, don't leave without her opening the till and settling up with you.

mungaman

Try the PayPal route like the other person suggested.
Then find a new friend!!

Doondie

I'd give her my bank details and ask for the money by midnight the same day. E-banking (or visiting a branch of your bank) would allow her to give you the money instantly (in some cases). Alternatively, PayPal is the next most convenient option, provided you both have an account there with confirmed bank accounts.
Do mention you're struggling at the moment. As the saying goes: 'A friend in need is a friend indeed.' If she really were a friend of yours, you wouldn't have to wait for that 30 quid even a day longer. If not, people before me have said it - it'd take you just £30 to find out she didn't deserve your friendship.

Regards!

VoucherMan

Hardly a moral dilemma.

Where does the 'good income' come from?

Selling things for people and not giving them the money?

voucherlover

I would try chasing and trying to find a specific time to hand it over. I do have sympathy with your friend though, I organised a group holiday and there was £40 left over, 2 of the 3 people I still owed it to asked me to use it for accomodation at a wedding we were going to 4 months later, it was at that wedding that the 3rd person got the money I owed them. I just forgot, or didn't have the cash on me, to be fair they weren't that bothered. But another reminder might be in order.

bluebird

A True friend would never put you in this situation,so get it in your head she is not a friend and go to her place and demand your payment.If she continues to bluff the road give her an hour just say something like thats ok i can wait,or you can bring it round to me later today whats best for you?

milvusvestal

Yes, you should.

It seems your friend needs a lesson in honesty though, to be fair, she could simply be very busy and keeps overlooking it. Keep up the reminders, and wear her down with your persistence. She'll get the message, I'm sure.

magentalady

I think that those suggesting that you should no longer be her friend because of this are being a bit harsh! It's very unfair of her but some people really are just that scatty. If she's otherwise a good friend then don't let this ruin your friendship! Since she's likely to forget when she actually sees you, can you sort something out with PayPal or a bank transfer instead? If she has your bank details she might even be able to walk into a branch of your bank and pop the cash into your account.

Alternatively, if you go out a lot together, maybe next time you could say 'do you mind paying for this, you can take it off the money you owe me'?

Personally, I wouldn't bring your differing financial statuses into it. The fact that she earns more than you shouldn't have any bearing on it - she owes you money, so she should give it to you. If you owed her £30 would you want her just to forget about it, because she earns more? No, I'm sure you'd still expect to pay her back.

Things like this are always very awkward in friendships. I once had a situation where a friend's dad had died and a group of us decided to club together about £15 each to send her some flowers. I bought and paid for the flowers and most of my friends paid me back straight away, but a couple of the others never did - it was mentioned a few times but I always got 'oh yeah, I need to do that, sorry I keep forgetting'. Since the circumstances were a bit difficult it felt a bit tacky to keep mentioning it, so I kept quiet in the end and never got my money back. Now I regret that and can't help feeling a bit resentful, and I know those same friends wouldn't hesitate to remind me if I owed them money. So don't let it become a big deal - get your money from her and then go back to enjoying your friendship!