Returning to work after maternity leave dilemmas

pinkclouds

Poppy9 wrote: »

You won't get the years back with your child so do what is right for you.

I'd like to "thank" this twice!

Do whatever is best for you, at this time, and revise it whenever the situation changes. Whatever happens in the future will not change the past. Full time, part time, SAHM or WAHM - I wish you the very best, OP. Good luck.

Metranil_Vavin

One of my greatest fears about being a SAHM is not being able to stimulate DS adequately. I go to at least 3 groups a week, and try to get out of the house at least once a day for both our sanities, however it is not always easy to keep him occupied.

He gets very bored with his toys, and we just can't afford to keep buying him new things

My flat isn't geared up for 'messy play' either, something I kpw children enjoy at nursery.

I'm just worried that i will fail and we'll end up both miserable! I need to find something p/time for all our sakes. Also money is now going to be incredibly tight so the coffees, lunches etc I used to enjoy with my NCT mums are going to have to stop..they are all going back to work anyway

Metranil_Vavin

worth mentioning too that the area I live in is a bit rough and ready, and not really geared up to babies/mums etc.

For the majority of my mat leave I have had to drive to where my NCT mums live (nicer areas of SE London) to find things to do.

Poppy9

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

One of my greatest fears about being a SAHM is not being able to stimulate DS adequately. I go to at least 3 groups a week, and try to get out of the house at least once a day for both our sanities, however it is not always easy to keep him occupied.

He gets very bored with his toys, and we just can't afford to keep buying him new things

My flat isn't geared up for 'messy play' either, something I kpw children enjoy at nursery.

I'm just worried that i will fail and we'll end up both miserable! I need to find something p/time for all our sakes. Also money is now going to be incredibly tight so the coffees, lunches etc I used to enjoy with my NCT mums are going to have to stop..they are all going back to work anyway

You are doing fine. He doesn't need lots of toys. I inherited lots of toys from family/friends eager to clear out plus the new stuff DD and it just took over the house. I eventually had a serious clear out and a "no more in" attitude unless it was Xmas/birthday.

I found the things DD played most with were the toys she had to use her imagination with oh and the cardboard box my new fridge/freezer came in. Pop up tent was one of best buys ever we used in and outdoors. DD was not really that into messy/creative play but it's easy to contain with a good plastic sheet in a corner and a piece of board (we used a panel from kitchen unit that was over delivered).

Pasta and a prit stick to decorate a piece of paper takes up no room and little mess.

Pre school most children are happy with a walk outdoors, a splash in puddles and a visit to a local park (with or without swings). Reading, talking and singing to your child are all free things you can do and are the best things to stimulate your child. Children get bored with toys because they often have to play alone and they are not interactive enough but interactive toys are too much effort.

From experience DD like to role play so teddys were her family/class etc and we played along with her "make believe" games.

I live in an affluent area but there were other mums like me with limited disposable income but lots of time so we went to the park, the beach (I live 5 mins away), a M&T group twice a week (messy play heaven for those that like it) and one another's houses sometimes.

I made a video (pre-dvd:o) of playschool recordings which always had an activity we could do together and songs DD loved which we would watch together.

I'm sure there are other mums & dads with lots of ideas too and you are no doubt doing a great job x

Make-it-3

My LO only plays with toys for a few brief minutes too, maybe it is because they are playing alone, but sometimes you need to get the washing out of the machine, wash-up, go to the loo! Going out gets harder in this weather, (I hate trying to push the buggy with one hand and hold an umbrella with another) and the park in the cold isn't much fun. We sing A LOT, but reading isn't possible yet, books just get chewed. I'm also following LO like a hawk as she'd much rather play with anything she shouldn't, wires, mobile, so many times she has had ink all around her mouth from chewing paper. Really, it can be quite relentless.

Charlton_Taz

I was in a similar-ish position this time last year. My maternity leave was coming to an end, and had been made redundant from that job. So, I wanted to look for another job as I didn't want to be a SAHM. I had the same issues i.e. you need to have childcare before you can get a job, but was concerned about how to pay for the childcare if I didn't find a job.

Ideally I wanted to go into a PT role but I was mindful of the fact that in my industry (accounting and finance) applying for jobs meant that the role is almost always FT. I secured a nursery place for my DD and I agreed with the nursery at the time that I wanted to put her in for 3 days a week, but asked if there was flexibility to go up to 5 days if I needed it (they said they couldn't guarantee it but as Mon and Fri were there quieter days, if I put her in for Tues-Thurs it was more likely that they would have spare capacity on the Mon and Fri). It meant the monthly bill wasn't going to be quite so big so slightly more manageable if I didn't find a job.

In the event I managed to find a job fairly quickly. It was full-time (so upped DD's days at nursery which endede up being no problem at all), but it was really close to home and DD nursery which made the return to work so much easier as I wasn't wasting time with commuting too far. If I'm honest I was quite scared about going back to work like this (was wondering how I would adjust to the hectic days)..but actually found I settled back into it really quickly. I think I was also quite lucky in that my DD settled in so easily at nursery so didn't have to feel guilty about that!!

What kind of work do you do, as I think this makes a big difference to whether it is 'easy' or not to find PT work? But good luck!!!

Make-it-3

Charlton Taz, I've just today been to confirm my nursery place, I've done the same, bagged a spot on the two busiest days Wed/Thurs with an option to increase the days. We can afford to pay for these with childcare vouchers OH has accrued since her birth for a while. When they run out we'll just have to see how the land lies with me job wise.

Metranil_Vavin

I did have a nursery place, but had to cancel it when I decided I was going to have to quit my job.

I wish we were in a position where I could maybe even send DS to nursery one day a week so he could get the additional interaction with other people/kids, but we just can't afford it.

I am going to have to try and find a job first and then see how the land lies.

Poppy9

Make-it-3 wrote: »

, (I hate trying to push the buggy with one hand and hold an umbrella with another) .

I'm afraid you are going to have to join the anorak brigade!!:rotfl: Hooded gortex jackets are the only way to go

I know it can be hard work and challenging at this stage but you will find a way of dealing with it. Let your little one help you with household tasks. i.e. leave a few items in the washing machine for her to get out while you peg out or put in dryer the rest of the washing. Great opportunity for teaching colours etc. from household tasks. Give her a little washing up bowl do wash the spoons/cups etc.

The toilet, yes well we've all been there!! Just shut the door for a few minutes and if she screams, she screams!

Money_maker

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

The way I see it is that the children are small for such a short period of time and I don't want anyone else to look after them, unless they love them as much as I do.

This is how I feel.

I work PT around my LO doing hours to fit around the family.

Way I see it, when I'm old I'll be thinking of the family I had not the career I missed. And be glad I made the right decision.