Will - excluding a child

EllaBeagle

Marisco wrote: »

If the father behaved like some mothers do, you'd have no choice!!!

But would I back down and walk away, no I would fight to see them.

EllaBeagle

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Whoa - bitter and twisted much?

How is it bitter and twisted?? Its what a father is supposed to do. If they are responsible enough to create a new life they should step up to the mark and be there for them!

savepete

This is a minefield. I know that in Germany, Scotland and a number of jurisdictions they would be entitled to half of their natural inheritance (i.e. half of what they would get if you had not written a will). In England it is different but no way straight forward. If you want it watertight consult a specialist lawyer.

DUTR

EllaBeagle wrote: »

How is it bitter and twisted?? Its what a father is supposed to do. If they are responsible enough to create a new life they should step up to the mark and be there for them!

Where is that written?
It is bitter and twisted as you don't mention what the mother is supposed to do?
Thought we were in an equal rights society, it always seems it is only equal when it suits eh?

EllaBeagle

DUTR wrote: »

Where is that written?
It is bitter and twisted as you don't mention what the mother is supposed to do?
Thought we were in an equal rights society, it always seems it is only equal when it suits eh?

The mother AND father are supposed to discuss like adults what is best for the childs upbringing so that the child isn't affected by their split/one night stand/whatever.

If the mother is being unreasonable by not allowing the father to be in the childs life then he should fight tooth and nail and not stop fighting for the child no matter what.

There is no excuse whatsoever! This isn't about the mother or father this is about an innocent child that, not only hasn't had their dad in their life but is now being made to feel different to their siblings in the name of the all important MONEY!

DUTR

EllaBeagle wrote: »

The mother AND father are supposed to discuss like adults what is best for the childs upbringing so that the child isn't affected by their split/one night stand/whatever.

If the mother is being unreasonable by not allowing the father to be in the childs life then he should fight tooth and nail and not stop fighting for the child no matter what.

There is no excuse whatsoever! This isn't about the mother or father this is about an innocent child that, not only hasn't had their dad in their life but is now being made to feel different to their siblings in the name of the all important MONEY!

What happens in text book relationships is far from what happens in practicality, I am sure you are bright in enough to realise that, broaden your thoughts to realise that when something does not work out, it is not always the fault of the male, it does leave you looking rather bitter and twisted as another poster pointed out.
Children soon become adults and then no longer require to be dependant.
They are different to their other siblings, it's just like at school when children are making father's day cards, some children cannot join in.
This thread is not about an innocent child , it is about someone wanting to leave their estate to whom ever they wish or exclude those they do not wish to recieve a great share of it.
Life does not stop when children come along, and I am sure that is the downfall of many relationships

EllaBeagle

DUTR wrote: »

What happens in text book relationships is far from what happens in practicality, I am sure you are bright in enough to realise that, broaden your thoughts to realise that when something does not work out, it is not always the fault of the male, it does leave you looking rather bitter and twisted as another poster pointed out.
Children soon become adults and then no longer require to be dependant.
They are different to their other siblings, it's just like at school when children are making father's day cards, some children cannot join in.
This thread is not about an innocent child , it is about someone wanting to leave their estate to whom ever they wish or exclude those they do not wish to recieve a great share of it.
Life does not stop when children come along, and I am sure that is the downfall of many relationships

I never said THIS THREAD was about an innocent child. I also never said it was his fault for whatever went wrong, what I'm saying is there is not enough fight and it is selfish of him to dismiss the child.

The 'well in an ideal world' doesn't wash it is no excuse. If children do break a relationship why should they suffer for it??

I'm not bitter and twisted at all I'm giving my opinion!

blue_monkey_2

trolleyrun wrote: »

Several points from me now.

OP can leave whatever money to whoever they want. That's not for us to judge. S/he needs to see a solicitor to get a proper "watertight" will written up.

To those posters on here going on about fathers not doing their duty, they should put a condom on, be around for the (possibly unwanted) child and so on and soforth, here are a few things to think about:

• Women are just as responsible for contraception as a man. Women are even allowed to buy condoms, shock horror. Or you can get them free at the FPC. There are no excuses for women either.
• There are some nasty women out there who pierce condoms/claim to be on the pill/have a coil etc in a blatant effort to get pregnant. I know several women like this - despicable behaviour as far as I'm concerned.
• I have some male friends who would love to know their surprise child, but are not allowed. Not named on BC, mother moved as far away as possible, refuse contact between father and child. Father can't afford to go through courts and not entitled to legal aid. It pains them greatly, all they're hoping for is that the child will come looking for them when they're older.

Having said all that, yes, there are rather too many men who can't seem to take on any form of responsibility and won't wear a condom and won't step up when needed. I think women need to have more self-respect and refuse sex if condoms (or other contraception if in a LTR) aren't on the menu. Pregnancy is one of the "nicer" things to catch, although expensive, but STIs are nasty and some are non-curable.

I'll get off my soap box now :cool: but I do get frustrated with people assuming that all blokes are the same or all women the same.

Oh, and for the record, I'm a woman

Back on topic, OP - good luck, I hope you get it sorted.

My old friend did both. She intended to get pregnant, she did not care who the father was as long he had a secure enough job to get money via the CSA. And she does. The father lives about 500 miles away. She did not tell him, she just pounced on the CSA within a week of the birth.

Why should this man have to leave the child money from his estate, he is paying to provide for him while he is under 18 and that is enough IMO.

Her behaviour appauled me and ruined our friendship, still she got what she wanted (but did not get the council house she also wanted - winner/loser, your guess).

This man should not automatically have to leave the child something in the will UNLESS the child is still a minor and needs to be provided for. He was a sperm donor - which she got free of charge because SHE wanted a baby. Disgusts me even now. I have no doubt she would be claiming from the estate if she knew he had money because all that interests her. The child will never know his father as he is not on the BC - unless she tells him out of spite (which I would not put it past her either).

BitterAndTwisted

This discussion has been very enlightening, so many thanks everyone.

The OP was absolutely right when they said that what she and her OH were wanting to do wouldn't be popular. A veritable sh!tstorm with all sort of posters dragging out their own irrelevant agendas which have nothing to do with the original question. The OP did not explain why what they want to do this and you've all been enjoying yourselves filling in the blanks.

Do carry on.

blue_monkey_2

EllaBeagle wrote: »

I never said THIS THREAD was about an innocent child. I also never said it was his fault for whatever went wrong, what I'm saying is there is not enough fight and it is selfish of him to dismiss the child.

The 'well in an ideal world' doesn't wash it is no excuse. If children do break a relationship why should they suffer for it??

I'm not bitter and twisted at all I'm giving my opinion!

Because, in an 'ideal world' life does not happen as the way you think it does.

Women can be awful manipulators and will happily trick a man into getting pregnant if this is what they want. had I not seen it with my own eyes then I would be dismissing it too - but I have seen it.

Sometimes ther eis not 'relationship' for the child to 'break', it simply never existed and the man was simply a free way of getting sperm.

Will the child suffer - inevitably yes because of the selfish actions of his mother, not the father who was given no choice. He tried to prevent the pregnancy but she was intending on having the child. The child was never going to have a father, just one of the many that are flitting in and out of her life at the time.

The child should NOT be entitled to money from the mans estate unless the child needs to be provided for until they are of age.

And yes, I am also a women. Some women are evil, horrible manipulators, but as they are the ones that carry the pregnancy they pretty much have a free reign to do stuff like this.