Will - excluding a child

serious_saver

I think there are many reasons that a family member could be written out of a will. For example if the other parent of the the child had considerably more wealth than would be left for the remaining children. If the OP and their partner both dies their children together would be left without a parent but the child from the first marriage would still have a parent and possibly a step parent (therefore security).

I have seen family members go through the ordeal of having a will contested and in the end the only people who benefited were the solicitors. I would guess that 80-90% of the estate ended up disappearing in fees. Why? Because the deceased relative didn't specifically write someone out of their will.

Depending on the size of the possible estate, they may find that it's worth leaving a sum of money that shows the child has been considered and therefore limits the chance that they will contest. For example, if they were to leave say £5,000 and state that this is the maximum and that they have done this as consideration for his/her up keep until they reach 18.

The couple may have decided that they don't want to leave any money to this child but if the will is contested the costs could far outstrip this sum.

With wills it is so important to make it completely obvious what you want. Any ambiguity could lead to problems.

EDIT

Of course it is also important to update wills regularly. We shouldn't assume that there will never be a relationship between the father and the child. Families are complicated and things may well change in the future.

newcook

djdido2 wrote: »

The said child IS FAMILY!!!!!!! And if he chooses to leave his OWN FLESH AND BLOOD OUT OF THE EQUATION, he does not deserve the title of PARENT!

but he is not a parent to the son - he might be biological father but that is it.

there is no relationship there. you cannot force a person to be a parent and have a relationship with someone they do not want to have a relationship with!

if OP's husband doesnt want to leave anything in his will to the child, surely that is his choice and his decision?
whats the point in making wills if once you are dead that people are going to go against your wishes - you might as well just stick it all on the front garden with a sign saying to take what you want.

Mojisola

serious_saver wrote: »

Depending on the size of the possible estate, they may find that it's worth leaving a sum of money that shows the child has been considered and therefore limits the chance that they will contest. For example, if they were to leave say £5,000 and state that this is the maximum and that they have done this as consideration for his/her up keep until they reach 18.

With an estate of this size, I don't think a token amount would prevent the will being challenged. The father would have to leave an amount at least as big as the child maintenance he would have paid until the child was 18/19.

As this scenario won't arise unless his new partner dies before him and he dies as well before the child reaches maturity, it's very unlikely that the situation will arise although it's wise to get wills written to cover the possibility of it happening.

bethl79

katerinasol wrote: »

lol @ all the bitter single mothers in here, way to be objective

If that was aimed at me (?) I'm not single, I am very happily married thank you

Rather, I am one of those children whose biological father left my mother before I was born and then refused to acknowledge me. As a child I was desperate to have a father and used to dream that he would get in contact with me, as time went on though it has turned to bitterness and now I wouldn't spit at him if he was on fire, let alone take any share of his will (which I know he wouldn't, just hypothetically).

Being a mother of three lovely children I can't understand how anyone could not feel anything for their own flesh and blood.

djdido2

newcook wrote: »

but he is not a parent to the son - he might be biological father but that is it.

there is no relationship there. you cannot force a person to be a parent and have a relationship with someone they do not want to have a relationship with!

if OP's husband doesnt want to leave anything in his will to the child, surely that is his choice and his decision?
whats the point in making wills if once you are dead that people are going to go against your wishes - you might as well just stick it all on the front garden with a sign saying to take what you want.

Particularly difficult to explain to a young innocent child who didnt ask to be born?!?!?! If this shirker didnt want his child, well you know the rest.

From personal experience I am coming merely from a MORAL point of view. ITS REALLY NOT ABOUT MONEY. My DD has always just wanted to be accepted not to get what she can!

DUTR

bethl79 wrote: »

If that was aimed at me (?) I'm not single, I am very happily married thank you

Rather, I am one of those children whose biological father left my mother before I was born and then refused to acknowledge me. As a child I was desperate to have a father and used to dream that he would get in contact with me, as time went on though it has turned to bitterness and now I wouldn't spit at him if he was on fire, let alone take any share of his will (which I know he wouldn't, just hypothetically).

Being a mother of three lovely children I can't understand how anyone could not feel anything for their own flesh and blood.

It's too late now, but why could you have not contacted him?
Naturally I can understand why it would turn to bitterness, as males don't have to run after females all the time, and definately definately not when then are flesh n blood

newcook

djdido2 wrote: »

Particularly difficult to explain to a young innocent child who didnt ask to be born?!?!?! If this shirker didnt want his child, well you know the rest.

From personal experience I am coming merely from a MORAL point of view. ITS REALLY NOT ABOUT MONEY. My DD has always just wanted to be accepted not to get what she can!

I agree that morally it is wrong but this thread isnt about morals.

and you dont need to keep putting bits in capital letters to highlight your point - people tend to read it as shouting and its also rather quite rude.

djdido2

I am on a thread about LEAVING YOUR OWN CHILD OUT OF A WILL!!!!!!! MY OPINION DON'T COUNT DOES IT NOT???

DUTR

djdido2 wrote: »

I am on a thread about LEAVING YOUR OWN CHILD OUT OF A WILL!!!!!!! MY OPINION DON'T COUNT DOES IT NOT???

Not whilst you are shouting it does not. The law says you can leave out who you wish, your shouting will not change that.

princessdreamer

DUTR wrote: »

It's too late now, but why could you have not contacted him?
Naturally I can understand why it would turn to bitterness, as males don't have to run after females all the time, and definately definately not when then are flesh n blood

You can't contact people if they make themselves uncontactable. We even had the girlfriend tell my children to stay away from her family, who are not a proper family anyway her, him and her kids with someone else.