Is your OH not that interested in planning the wedding?

wanchai_2

74jax wrote: »

I can't work mine out.....

I think he likes to show he's not really that interested (maybe he thinks it's a girlie thing????),

But then if I mention a venue he wants to know all about it, he wants to know about the naming of our tables (rather than table 1, table 2, we're naming them after different types of wind :eek: don't ask....)

Then the other day, after a day at the beach kitesurfing, he came in with about 20 shells to go on our tables as part of the center pieces.

He's such a softy at times.

I, like others on here, plan everything, I'm meticulous, so I think he just leaves me to the looking and searching part. I then narrow it down and we decide on the final things together.

Awwwwwwww! What a sweetie! :T

I think you two have the balance right. :A

wanchai_2

sugarwalsh wrote: »

Wanchai, I feel for you sweetie. I think you just have to realise that most men really couldn't give two hoots about what colour flowers you are having, the favours, your chosen hairstyle etc. I know that sounds harsh and is an over-generalisation, but it doesn't mean he is not interested in marrying you! My oh isn't interested in all the above - he half listens when I talk about stuff (Funnily his whoe attention is gained when I mention prices!), so I have found that I just run things past him. We chose the venues together, we chose the menu together - I showed him what I wanted, he chose the veggie options. He came with me yesterday when we tried the meal (Surprise!). I showed him the invites/place cards etc before ordering so he could have his input. Yesterday I was amazed as we saw the Registrar who gave us a pamphlet on the vows we could choose and I left it with him. He actually made his choices and then when we went over them we found that we liked the same ones.

I guess what I'm trying to say is pick the things you want his input on. Don't leave him out, but get on with doing all the 'girly' stuff and if you want to allocate some jobs to him. Personally I know that is a no-no for me, if I left it to my OH then we would be stood in our regular clothes in the resgistry office with 2 strangers as witnesses..... If you do give him jobs have faith he will do them and let him do it his own way.

I'm sure that all he wants is to be your husband, that is the most important thing to him.

Megan

That is such a lovely thing to say, and he has said it himself.

I might try to allocate something to him - the honeymoon for one, obviously sorting out his and his BM's clothes (surely he can't get THAT wrong :rotfl:) - but what else?? Perhaps putting together an iPod playlist of background music for the pre-meal period, he would enjoy that (just need to make sure that he doesn't go mad lol).

I'm not expecting him to be into the flowers, hair etc - but perhaps the stationery, rings and stuff? Or am I expecting too much?

Your OH surprised you yesterday then - it is nice that he has put more thought into the vows than anything else, that's a good sign!

wanchai_2

Jewelleryfan wrote: »

My OH is the same, we was really interested in looking at the venues and booking our one buy since then he has lost interest. I have to carefully pick my "wedding talk" moments and then bombard him with all the information :rotfl: if he says yes to something then I buy it before he changes his mind but on the whole he agrees with everything I have planned so that's good
I think he isn't interested at the moment as we have so far to go but he has said what type of ring and suit he wants and were talking about places for a honeymoon so hopefully he will become more interested nearer the time

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I know, I don't think that they appreciate how long everything takes! They'll probably start showing an interest with 4 weeks to go when everything's already done! :rotfl:

Hollie84

Hi i think i must be one of the lucky ones,he wants to be as involved as possible in everything even down to the flowers.he works 6 days a week so expected him to just want me to get on with it but nope he wants to know designs,colours how things will be put together etc have a big say on invites etc.we have pretty much done everything together.its nice.

wanchai_2

Hollie84 wrote: »

Hi i think i must be one of the lucky ones,he wants to be as involved as possible in everything even down to the flowers.he works 6 days a week so expected him to just want me to get on with it but nope he wants to know designs,colours how things will be put together etc have a big say on invites etc.we have pretty much done everything together.its nice.

Aw, how sweet. Good for him!!

sugarwalsh

If it helps, I'm not bothered that OH isn't interested in all the finer details - it means I can let my creative side go wild without having to check it out with anyone. I just wave things under his nose and he okays them!

When it comes to the rings I have shown him the ones I like on Ebay and he insists on bidding! I've told him he is getting his at goldsmiths as that is where we have vouchers for!

Try not to get too worried - how long is it until your wedding?

MEgan

bunneh

We're getting married next year and last night I asked OH what date we were getting married and he started guessing in the wrong month. So don't feel too bad. When I asked him he said he was really looking forward to it but it just didn't seem real yet.

aworbey

I'll add a little from a male perspective, I think I'm more into organising than my other half and wanting to look at things we can have and do at the wedding. Every lunch time at work I'm looking for ideas and websites to keep etc, whereas she isnt as bothered, although when we sit down at a weekend she'll look through but other than that she doesn't. Plus I get from friends the underlying feeling that its not something men do "as a girl plans her wedding from birth", well I'm certainly bucking the trend and proudly joining the ladies as it's my special day as much as hers and I want to make sure everything is just right.

I'M JUST SO EXCITED AND ITS STILL SO FAR AWAY!

stir_crazy

Wanchai, yeah he likes any kind of vehicle really - if it has wheels and an engine he likes it! He really wanted me to get one of his friends dad's cars - he does vintage wedding cars, so OH was bugging me for ages about it (I personally would have ordered a nice taxi). When I try talking about other parts of the wedding, he just agrees with me, except when I mentioned pumpkin centrepieces - he thought would look Halloween-y.

katerinasol

Mine was like that before we got married and I just gave up on it in the end - he said all that mattered to him was that I was happy with the day, and he was happy just marrying me and celebrating it with our family and friends. I still ran my decisions past him but in the end it was down to me really.

Most men aren't interested in whether the table runner matches the invitations etc, and trust me, you probably won't care all that much on the day either! Though everything does look much prettier in the photos if it's put together well