Is your OH not that interested in planning the wedding?

Jewelleryfan

My OH is the same, we was really interested in looking at the venues and booking our one buy since then he has lost interest. I have to carefully pick my "wedding talk" moments and then bombard him with all the information :rotfl: if he says yes to something then I buy it before he changes his mind but on the whole he agrees with everything I have planned so that's good
I think he isn't interested at the moment as we have so far to go but he has said what type of ring and suit he wants and were talking about places for a honeymoon so hopefully he will become more interested nearer the time

wanchai_2

Thanks for the replies so far peeps. So, everyone but fawny is in the same boat as me then! :rotfl: It's a relief to hear that tbh, I was starting to feel a bit annoyed by it.

wanchai_2

MsShopper wrote: »

Wanchai, we may be engaged to the same man!

I'm no 'it's all about me,me,me' kind of girl - I want our big day to reflect us both. I thought that my OH would want at least some input into that, but his lack of interest has driven me crazy at times!

It actually caused us some rows at first, until I worked out the jist of it. He wants to get married, and celebrate it with me, our friends and family, with some good food and music, The rest - theme, colours, stationery, centrepieces, flowers, favours etc - isn't important to him. (Though he gets that it's important to me.)

Even so, it does annoy me sometimes, feeling like it's all down to me. But I figured out two things: 1) I can hold his attention if we agree a time for some wedding chat, where I run ideas past him or get his thoughts on stuff. And 2) selected delegation! We've agreed some tasks that are for him to sort, eg groomsmen's suits, giving notice, activity packs for the child guests (as they're mostly his relatives!). Not too major all-in-all, but it's taken some of the pressure off me.

Anyway, in other words, I feel your frustration! But I'm sure you and your OH can work out a happy medium. Maybe you two could have a chat to figure out what elements of the day are important to him, and go from there?

Hmm, that's a good suggestion. He was a bit more involved at the start, in picking the venue, looking at menu options and choosing the band. Since then... nada! I've had to source the photographer, the florist etc.

The worst of it is, we do have a little wedding chat every so often, where I tell him some of my ideas for stationery, floral arrangements etc - and he usually isn't that keen on them! I feel really hurt and say to him that I've spent ages researching all this stuff and this is the best that I've come up with, and if he wants things done differently then he should come up with ideas himself!

I've even gone looking at wedding rings on my own with a view to narrowing it down to one shop and then just bringing him in to see what he thinks. I have worked my *** off so far and would really appreciate some acknowledgement of it from him.

wanchai_2

anibell wrote: »

No I don't think you're alone!
I thought my OH wasn't that interested as I felt I was doing all the talking and planning (I wasn't really but that's how I felt). But after having a long conversation I found he was really stressed about work and he just felt he had to sort out some problems with that before concentrating on the wedding. It was a bit of relief tbh as I was beginning to think he had second thoughts! :eek:
He's getting more involved now which is just as well as there's only 7 months to go :j
Is there something bothering your OH at all? Or does he think there's plenty of time to get things organised?
I (jokenly) threatened to contact the bbc for 'don't tell the bride' - he wasn't amused!!! Maybe an idea though for someone else :rotfl:

I know that he's really busy at work, but so am I. I don't think that he's having second thoughts but it does feel like it sometimes, and I really don't want to be seen as a bridezilla. It's just that THINGS NEED ORGANISED - I don't think he gets it. :rotfl:

LOL at you threatening to apply to DTTB! :rotfl:

wanchai_2

MrsDrink wrote: »

In our relationship I don't think it's that he's not interested, just more that he can't be arsed :rotfl:.

I'm the planner in our relationship - I organise EVERYTHING. In the 12 years we've been together I don't think he's ever taken any initiative to book us into a restaurant. I'm the one that organises all our holidays. Take Christmas for example - I've already sorted my family out, and most of his pressies, and I've said he can sort out his family. But I know if I stuck to that it'd be a Christmas Eve affair and I'd get dragged along for the ride... I've already caved in and got his sister and his nephews sorted. Just got to get something for his parents and then I've done all I can up to buying my own pressies :rotfl:.

We just have our roles to play, and one of mine is the organiser. Besides he's had input on all major decisions, and the wedding *I've* planned reflects both of our personalities, but he doesn't get all dreamy over the big day like me

See, that's the thing - my OH is the holiday organiser in our relationship! He is amazing, and I love that he does it. I have input too, but I usually love his ideas. Hmm, maybe he thinks that now it's MY turn after he's organised so many holidays! *lightbulb* :rotfl:

Oh, but he is rubbish at sorting presents and sending cards. I have so far refused to send cards on his behalf i.e. if we get Christmas cards from his friends (or should I say his friends' wives/girlfriends :rotfl:), it's up to him to send them in return! He doesn't, of course, and I always feel a little embarrassed about it, but I refuse to cave in. After we're married, I will reconsider - my mum always sends the Christmas cards in our house, my dad never did! So I might give in to the inevitable, just for the sake of all those poor people who go to the bother of sending them to us...

wanchai_2

stir_crazy wrote: »

My OH usually wants to know the ins and outs of everything - except when it comes to wedding planning! The only thing he was interested in was the bride's car. I asked him to look at tartans for his kilt and even then he kept asking me which one I preferred so he could make a decision. We were talking honeymoons last night and all I got from him was "as long as you like it, I'm not fussed where we go". NO! I'm asking you because I want your input and I want you to make choices with me!!

I guess that's one thing that my OH *will* want to organise - the honeymoon! (see post above) :rotfl:

p.s. why is he so interested in the bride's car? Is he just really into cars?

wanchai_2

johannalf88 wrote: »

I have a theory that in most cases Bridezilla doesn't exist. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. Grooms expect us to take control and do it, and we do because they won't! My H2B us the same Stir_crazy!

You are so right!!!!!!!!!!!! Sigh.

wanchai_2

bride2be2012 wrote: »

no you're not alone, my OH is like this too. Apart from coming to view venues with me, I don't think he has done anything! (and even that was coz I insisted he came lol!)

Oh Lord, he sounds even worse than mine, you have my sympathy :rotfl:

wanchai_2

fawny wrote: »

Hi,

Well sounds like I'm lucky then, my OH is so into the planning with me. We have done everything together, he's even helped with the designs for the invites & RSPV's. We sit down & discuss everything together, we met our wedding planner the other week & even she said she was amazed how much intrest he was showing in it right down to the table decorations:D

You lucky thing :D:D:D:D

I should add - I hope you both agree on everything!

wanchai_2

kmmr wrote: »

My OH says that all the time. It annoys me for two reasons - first it forces me to make the decision when I could do with some help, and secondly he doesn't mean it!

If I say - ok fine, lets go backpacking in Thailand, he'll say - well, no, you know I don't like that, choose something I will like. So I am supposed to choose from the limited set of things that he likes, without him really telling me. grrrr

I think 'I'm not fussed' is just a way of being lazy and avoiding decisions. People don't realise that making decisions that please everyone is hard.

/end rant.

Threaten to surprise him with the honeymoon and say that you will go wherever YOU want and he will just have to like it! You're not a mind reader! :rotfl: