Finally reaching out for some help...

RosaBernicia

Your dad's self-employed, he is sensible and self-reliant enough to put money aside for a retirement fund, there is a major recession, state pensions etc are at risk... and your sister thinks it's OK to take his retirement money for er, what? And she is responsible for two children?

I don't really know what to say. I have something of the opposite problem - my parents have no money, or at least they have always said so and what they do have they've never been inclined to give or loan to me - but I am a bit shocked that your sister doesn't appear to think of any of the potential risks to your parents.


Re. OH he may well not have anything like a plan as clear as yours. I confess yours made me giggle as I'm a decade older than you and still deciding what I want to do when I grow up. It's only just sinking in that the cost/benefit ratio is changing now that I already have one decent career. Maybe you could talk about the things that you want in terms of visualising yourselves together, where you'd be and what you'd do, rather than an outline list?


Rosa xx

kerri_dfw

I don't think my sister thinks about anyone but herself, she'll go and get herself into financial trouble again and hopefully won't get bailed out next time. This will be the lesson she needs to learn, the hard way.

I've just written up 31 items to list on fleabay tomorrow, just need to find out what time we're going to my aunties so that I can work out when to list the items, if it's not until the evening then I'll have to list them on a 5 day on Tuesday instead. Have just remembered that it takes a few days for paypal to clear, d'oh! I might have to borrow some money from OH to pay for this and pay him back when the funds clear from Paypal. I'm not paying Paypal for faster payment. I should really have thought about this before I paid off extra to my various creditors. Oh well will remember for next time.

debtfreewannabe321

I actually feel really sorry for your sister, she will continue to drown in debt until she has her LBM like we all have. You can help her by not lending her any money. Once the avenues for borrowing dry up she'll have to face facts. I just hope your dad says no next time, because i bet there will be a next time!

My OH wants to live abroad, i was all up for it pre 3 kids. But now i don't want to be further than a few hours drive to mum, nan, sisters, dad etc... I've somehow got more dependant the more kids i've had !

OH even went as far as getting a map out and telling me if we moved to Germany we would be a few hours drive to Calais-Dover then an hour's drive to mum :doh:he wasn't really getting the fact that i meant NO and a few hours drive in England :rotfl: I hope you and OH sort out something that suits you both

hp48910

'I don't think I can approach my Dad about this though as it's not really any of my business what he does with his finances.'

I would talk to your Dad because him bailing your sis out could be a contributing factor to you taking responsibility for some of his commitments, i.e. pet insurance....catch 22 situation.....the only person not really affected/bothered is your sis.

Well done on getting some clarification with OH about moving abroad. Bet that conversation knocked you sideways after you were getting used to the fact that he was going away for 4 months:(

Enjoy the rest of the weekend. When you get chance pls can you let me know how you get the Amazn vouchers and how surveys work/best companies to use. Thanks:D

brizzledfw

Hi Kerri..

Wll just catching up and I can now formally blame your sister for something else! When I read the post about your dad bailing her out I spat tea over my bed linen..oh well needed changing anyway I guess but another job to do..

Having said that she's the one to be pitied..when eill it ever end for her? Will she be in debt when she's beyond working age ( whatever that means these days?!) ..and as someone else on your diary said she'll continue being dependent. You on the other hand are strong and in a different more positive place. You know what you want and how you need to get there.

Have a good weekend Hun. My OH was away for 7 weeks once, he goes away a bit, but that was a long time, missed a DDs birthday..yadda yadda..it wasn't great and that's nowhere near as long as your OH's planned trip. Bu life continued and we never suffer as a result...hope that's the same for you x

kerri_dfw

Thanks DFW I pity her too. I did briefly talk to my dad about it, he brought it up. He said she has said she will only ever be using cash from now on as she never wants to be in debt again... Heard that before.

Spoke to OH and he isn't thinking of moving abroad anytime soon but it is apparently one of his dreams to live in another culture. Told him to get a consultancy role when he finishes uni as that'll mean he can do projects around the world. It's likely my new job will entail a few months here and there :-) I wouldn't be moving to Germany in its current economic state, it's where all the water in the sinking euro ship is moving to. Alright for a holiday though.

HP I use mysurvey, swagbucks, onepoll, justtheanswer, panelbase, and globaltestmarket to collect vouchers. Most are survey sites and I do them as I'm watching television in the evening. SB I do 5mins morning and evening, daily poll, noso, special offer videos and surveys, trusted surveys. I have the mysurvey programme installed which gives me 50 points a month and as I never really use the machine it's installed on they're not getting my info. Getting vouchers does take a bit of time and effort, but it's meaning I don't have to pay for half my OHs kindle :-)

Brizzledfw sorry about the bed sheets, tea spitting was expected though. We can only hope that she learns her lesson this time, she is realising her son is missing out because of her debt, yet she still wants to spend. Yesterday she was saying about getting a new buggy pack colour (you can apparently change the whole colour by spending £40 so it looks like new) just because her friend has the same colour as her and she doesn't like how that looks when you meet up. Sorry what!?!?

Anyway, we're off to my aunties this afternoon, it means my fleabay will have to be a 5day listing starting on Tuesday as can't guarantee we'll be back for about 5ish. We have to be there for 1pm. We have to take 2 cars because there's 5 of us and apparently my sister won't be comfortable sat in the back of my parents car. Slightly annoying as its a 60mile round trip, but never mind. I have however told my dad my sisters going in her car as I don't want her waters breaking over my heated seats therefore costing me to get them repaired. It might not happen,but it might and I won't chance it, I love my little car too much and my OH absolutely loves having a hot bum.

Should be a NSD and we should get fed as well which will be nice. Fleabay items are almost at £30 and OH has agreed to lend me postage. I apologised massively for asking and he told me not o be silly. I'm going to open a separate account this week, prob with coop especially for use with PayPal. Will make it a basic one as I fail credit checks on normal ones due to the default on my file from lloyds.

Need to check out the price of beans in lido too as apparently it's 4 for £1 so I could stock up on those. I'm thinking beans on toast at work this week, mmmmm, and it's protein :-)

hp48910

I'm glad OH didn't object to lending you the postage, after all you've come up trumps for him before and effectively half of that would have been the bus ticket you bought him....Different when you look at it in real terms:p

Sounds like a busy weekend for you, well done for the fleabay listings and thanks for the survey info.

Just back from an 11 mile bike ride, so off for a shower before picking DD1 up from her sleep over. Although she said they were planning an all-nighter. At 11 years old, I wonder how long it'll be before she flakes out today!!!!;)

kerri_dfw

I'm really impressed by all your bike rides. DD1 being quiet all day, can't think of anything worse ;-) *snigger*

kerri_dfw

Yesterday was a NSD and I went for a lovely walk with my family across the fields and down to the woods. My nephew walked most of the way holding my hand and had a wonderful time. I'm going to spend some time with him this afternoon.

It might be a NSD today as well... OH has transferred £100 into my account so I can buy postage for the 13 parcels I'm going to take down the PO in an hour. I've already transferred out the £59.09 that's sat in my Ppal. Half my buyers haven't paid yet and I appear to have mislaid a pair of over the knee socks that are meant to be posted today, oops. The next lot of parcels will be posted on Wednesday, I'm not spending every lunchtime in the PO this week just because buyers aren't prompt. I'm not counting the PO money as a spend as it's paid for by other people When the postage has all been paid for and the fleabay fees calculated then I'll work out how much I've actually made. It's around the £60 mark, which isn't too shabby

I will probably have to put £10 of petrol into my car today, hence why it might not be a NSD. I also might go to lidels and get some Cushelle that's on offer at the moment. £6.99 for 24 rolls, although we use the dog one in our house it does work out more expensive. They also have beans for cheaps as well apparently, so might grab some of those. I'm definitely more a Mr W or Mr MS girl, but if it's branded then I don't mind going there. I am a food snob I guess, but my body is a temple.

I ate some food yesterday which really hasn't agreed with my IBS. I must have had too much wheat as my tummy is solid and has been since last night My parents aren't really onboard with me going veggie it seems, Mum has just said "I'm cooking chicken pie this evening, that's ok with you isn't it" but as it's a lifestyle choice I'm not going to be rude and tell them I won't eat it.

Fleabay money is going straight into my emergency pot. I took out £52.06 from it on Friday to pay for the ieka furniture for my friend and haven't had the funds to replace it. I do have £37.50 in my purse though. That's this weeks and next weeks spending money

Right best do some work then get dressed. I am going to go into my parents roofspace this afternoon and try to find some more gems for fleabaying. I'm sure I have a printer up there for coupons as well.

kerri_dfw

Just paid £15 off freemans, I've cancelled my veg box for this week as I have loads of tinned toms in the cupboard and loads of tins of beans. They'll get me through until the following week, especially as I have loads of stuff in the cupboards to go with them.
Right off to do the daily chores.