Finally reaching out for some help...

kerri_dfw

Ok so have paid O2 £99.30 and now have £67 showing as remaining on my vanquis. I know that my veg box hasn't been paid for yet but I'm convinced that Wescott has come off as it did the twirly visa thing yesterday that o2 just did. I did increase my minutes this month so that I won't go over again £5 extra to save me £70.

So balances:
Vanquis: £52 remaining
HSBC: £14 remaining after bills.
Purse: £20

I have £34 to go back on vanquis from Next, and £31 to go into HSBC. Will pay this in tomorrow and take clothes back tomorrow too. This means the £175 OH is paying me is mine all mine so I can put £50 towards debt and be 25% of the way to freedom yay *claps* What a confusing hour that was. I totally forgot that I had put the £272 on vanquis, which less £90 for wescott, less £21 for CK, less £100 for O2 works out at leaving me with about £50 whoop whoop. Phew! Best go heat up this soup.

kerri_dfw

Have posted on freecycle asking if anyone has a shoe rack for by my windowsill, and a bookshelf to keep tins on inside the fitted wardrobe (idea stolen from other MSEer who does this I don't want shoes in there as they'll interfere with my clothes, but a shallow bookshelf would fit no problem. Better free than paying for it

Am also going to go through my bank statement and credit card statements for the past 6 months and make a list of all the carp spends I've made. This way I can see where my money is going and how I can try to cut back. I think I need to do this for the wake up call of how much I spend needlessly.

CK have refunded my postage as parcel has not been delivered next day, so that's going to be £6.95 to Freemans. No doubt the odd amount will wind me right up so I might have to make it up to £10 (hehe).

Also need to call HSBC this evening to find out why I can't transfer money into my "can't touch the money" account like I could just over a month ago. I used to VSP my bank account into it, and it's annoying that I can't do that now hmmm.

hp48910

Do you feel in a position to let your family know that things are tight for you right now? I'm not suggesting you stop all payments you make on their behalf as I understand it's something you chose to undertake for them and it is in your nature. However, perhaps that was done at a time when things weren't quite so difficult.

Maybe speak to your sister to see if she could let you have an increased amount as repayment, even a one off slightly higher payment will help you out. You say she can afford more but she won't consider parting with it if you are happy to accept £50 at a time. Also your parents...maybe they could take over the pet insurance for a little while or at least contribute. I know you have offered to pay the policy but ultimately the pets are theirs, so their responsibility.

Don't forget, they will have no idea of your situation unless you speak to them. Any extra you can claw back from them will really make a difference to your overall balance. At the end of the day if you go under, they won't have anywhere to go for help.

This doesn't have to be forever and as you are such a pleaser to others, if you really feel the need, you can pick up the tab when you're in a better position.

kerri_dfw

Hi HP thanks for your pearls I have considered asking them to pay for it and for my sister to increase her payments however they are actually in a worse financial situation than myself. My Dad is a self-employed glazier and he is often at home with no work as the work has really dried up over the past few years. My Mum is on the sick, so she can't contribute. Dad used to shop in Mr S all the time, but now he shops in Lidl and gets very, very cheap food and they never have the heating on. They don't have a mortgage anymore but they only make enough to pay the bills, no luxuries. If I don't pay the vet insurance then it'll have to get cancelled. One of the cats is classed as my cat, he absolutely adores me and I paid for his back legs (£25 out of £75) so my Mum could have him. He's called Kevin, part siamese, part bengal and gorgeous. The other cat on the insurance is Athena, she's a right !!!!! (nicks the chicken from the stove) and she's pure bengal. Kevin likes to hurt his paw every now and then by getting bitten by squirrels. So I'd hate for the insurance to be cancelled and something to happen to him. I think I will just sacrifice my takeaways instead

As for my sister, well.... she's got my little nephew Lucas who is 2 and a baby that's due to be born in 3 weeks time so she may "think" she has more money than she has, but she's about to get a massive shock when he arrives and she can't afford to buy from M&S food every week. She has said she wants to increase my payments to £10 a week standing order, which is a little more but I don't want to push her over the edge with it.

I've told my family how much debt I'm in and that I'm actively working to reduce it. But then I did move house last month and double my rent £475pcm to £811 pcm. Although this has resulted in cooking more, eating less takeaways and making packed lunches. So I think it's balanced and I'm sooo much happier here it's unbelievable what a change the move has made.

I finally got rid of that £50 voucher I had for arcadia I bought a new pair of work boots for £45down from £60. They're dark brown with a buckle at the top & across the ankle and come to just below the knee. They have a modest 2" heel and a round toe. They're waterproof and will look great with my suits and my dresses They wouldn't give me change so I found a pair of turquoise (fave colour) and silver gloves £8 down to £5.

My veg box arrived and I was completely clueless as to what I should have for dinner, so fried onion in butter then added sliced mushroom. Cut up broccoli small and boiled with thinly sliced carrots and some garden peas. I added it all together and made a Spanish omlette using 3 eggs garnishing with some ground black pepper before finishing under the grill om nom nom. I put aside some of the veg and boiled up some quinoa for lunch tomorrow

This evening I have fitted film glazing to 1 of my 3 single glazed windows, it's already made it quieter in here and hopefully a little warmer. I need to get another 2 packs to finish the other 2 windows, but that can wait until OH pays me back I'm not going to start going through my bank statements now as it's so close to bedtime and I want to be able to sleep tonight, so a quick shower then will catch up on the rest of the forum

Does it count as a NSD if I allocated the veg box at the beginning of the month? I reckon it does, I've not bought anything today so I'm chalking that one up there yay.

PinotGrigio41

Hi Kerri, I have just stumbled across your diary ! Not sure why I never seen it before, I just assumed that you werent keeping one. I have subscribed now , but not had time to read through properly.You wont be able to get rid of me now !!

Pinot x

RosaBernicia

Ooh film glazing is a good idea - can't remember if flat I'm hopefully moving to has double so if not might try that.

I can understand you lending to family when they seem to have less disposable income but I do think you need to decide a limit otherwise you will end up in a situation where you actually have less available money than them because of all your debt payments! I would basically write off what you've already given and decide on a ceiling for how much you can afford to loan/ give each month after that (and don't tell them how much that is!). Get an independent opinion to check your budget and work out what's reasonable. Then you're back in control and if you do get money back then it's a bonus. I have to confess I would have lost patience with your sister a long time ago - not for borrowing, but for breaking the agreement to pay you back.

Rosa xx

kerri_dfw

Pinot hello *waves* maybe I should put the name of it on my signature so people can find me

Rosa, I lost patience with her ages ago, but she has got better at paying me back each month for 3 months in a row now. I'm confident I will get it all back Just have to remember not to lend her any, I think I felt bad for her as it was Xmas and she didn't have any money for presents and I didn't want to see my nephew without or my sister embarrassed in front of my parents. Onwards and upwards.

Film glazing is actually fabdoodle, I might have to find £12 so I can do the other two windows as I now can't hear the cars on the left side of the room. I wonder if it's made some kind of vaccuum? Might have to google to find out how it works.

Have become frugal in the shower too, wet hair, turn off shower, apply shampoo, turn on, rinse, turn off, apply 2nd shampoo, turn on, rinse, turn off, shower gel, conditioner, face soap, final on then off for finished no more running shower in between. This is mostly so I don't get a freezing shower towards the end again like I have previously.

Just had phone call from a very drunk OH, he wants a kindler with keyboard not the fire, so the case I bought him is wrong. Oh well, I will flog it on fleabay afterall it was free

RosaBernicia

kerri_dfw wrote: »

Rosa, I lost patience with her ages ago, but she has got better at paying me back each month for 3 months in a row now. I'm confident I will get it all back Just have to remember not to lend her any, I think I felt bad for her as it was Xmas and she didn't have any money for presents and I didn't want to see my nephew without or my sister embarrassed in front of my parents. Onwards and upwards.

Good, so long as you don't get pushed past what you are comfortable with you'll be OK. I am still learning this boundaries thing myself but have just had a successful haggling experience over potential new flat

kerri_dfw wrote: »

Film glazing is actually fabdoodle, I might have to find £12 so I can do the other two windows as I now can't hear the cars on the left side of the room. I wonder if it's made some kind of vaccuum? Might have to google to find out how it works.

:T

kerri_dfw wrote: »

Have become frugal in the shower too, wet hair, turn off shower, apply shampoo, turn on, rinse, turn off, apply 2nd shampoo, turn on, rinse, turn off, shower gel, conditioner, face soap, final on then off for finished no more running shower in between. This is mostly so I don't get a freezing shower towards the end again like I have previously.

So long as your bathroom isn't freezing anyway... I only do that in the summer in this house :rotfl:


Rosa xx

ZTD

Google for the phrase "Navy shower"...

kerri_dfw

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Good, so long as you don't get pushed past what you are comfortable with you'll be OK. I am still learning this boundaries thing myself but have just had a successful haggling experience over potential new flat
So long as your bathroom isn't freezing anyway... I only do that in the summer in this house :rotfl:


Rosa xx

boundaries? what are these boundaries you speak of? hehe. My hips could do with less pizza takeaway anyway

ZTD wrote: »

Google for the phrase "Navy shower"...

56000 litres of water, oh my! I have been a "hollywood" showerer but I pay for the water here so going to be more stingy with it.