Conveying Love to Child

Kermit99

I'm very ashamed to say that I've never told my son that I love him, well not that I remember. I was brought up by my parents and they never told me they loved me during my childhood, in fact I can't remember them telling each other they loved each other although I'm sure they did. It was only when my father died that my mum told me she loved me and I found it uncomfortable and felt so awkward.

My son now has a daughter of his own, his partner is the opposite to me in that she would say encourage their daughter to say they love nana and grandad and we (well, me more than OH) now openly tell her that we love her.

I love my son dearly, he means the world to me, he's been through a very difficult time recently and I would love to be able to tell him I love him, but how?

Is it normal for parents not to tell their children they love them.

I'm not sure what to do, can you help.

Kermit

PS BTW my son is now 26

BitterAndTwisted

For some people the words do not come easily because they've never been spoken out loud to themselves. That does not mean that your son does not know quite well that you love him and always will. If you think it's going to be too hard to change the habits of a lifetime, why don't you write and tell him what a wonderful son he is, how well you think he's dealt with whatever these difficulties are/were and how proud you are of him.

victory

My lot get told daily but more than that it is the actions, you show him by helping, supporting, being there for him, listening, helping him out ,advising, reassuring, understanding, just your son knowing you have got his back and will always be there for him day or night is more than I love you in words it is I love you in actions:D

Gingham_R

I like the idea of writing to him.

Or maybe just say it each time you end a phone conversation with him. Sometimes big stuff is easier to say on the phone.

milliemonster

Oh bless you Kermit, I think a lot of people have this issue so you are not alone, I have never had a problem telling my kids how much I love them, but on the opposite side of the coin it can sometimes be said too much so it can lose it's meaning (my hubby is always telling me and tbh, it's getting a bit boring now after 16 yrs lol!)

Anyway, why don't you just show him the post you have printed above? I am pretty sure your son knows how much you love him, actions speak much louder than words in my opinion, but please don't let it bother you to the extent you feel that you are unusual compared to others, my parents didn't ever tell me, but it wasn't something I ever felt sad about, to be honest, I never even thought about it growing up as I was secure and knew they loved me, the only time my mum told me she loved me was the day before she died, but I always knew she did.

Don't be so hard on yourself, it sounds like you have a wonderful family and I sure they know that you love them

pinkcheshirecat

It was the same when I was a child, after my mum died, it suddenly felt important to tell my dad I loved him. I did, and we both cried, but since then, we 've not really said it. Could you just say 'love you' as you go to hang up the phone, light hearted rather, instead of goodbye, instead of making a big deal of it. Oddly, I tell my kids I love them pretty much every day......that said, even if my dad and I hadn't said it, I'd still have known that he did, less words than deeds if you know what I mean. Good luck.


HTH

Pink.
Xx

Padstow

Love is an easy word Kermit.
Don't worry about saying it, just concentrate on showing it.

caledonian_princess

I've never told my Mum that I love her (not as an adult at least) and she hasn't told me either. She shows me in so many ways that she loves me, I don't need her to say it.

balletshoes

if you really want to say the words to your son, just practice saying them out loud, over and over, until you can say them comfortably out loud and not feel strange doing it.

I don't remember my parents ever telling me they loved me (or each other) but I always felt their love. I did used to struggle saying the words to other adults (my siblings, my parents, my OH even) but have never had a problem telling my child I love her. I don't know why that is, I can't explain it.

DVardysShadow

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/48462213#Comment_48462213

MarilynMonroe_2

If you speak to him on the phone I would just say at the end of the conversaion... Love you, bye, and just start doing that ... you might get a 'love you too' back xxxx