Conveying Love to Child

Kermit99

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Hi everyone, thank you so much for sharing your own stories and the advice you have offered, it really is very much appreciated.

It's comforting to know that I'm not unusual and not the only one who doesn't tell my son I love him, though it doesn't take away the pain of feeling unable to tell him. I take on board the advice offered re how uncomfortable he may find it if I just say it and I may try and start to say it through my granddaughter and see how it progresses from there.

Thank you all again xxx
Kermit xxx

Candy53

Write it inside one of those little Xmas cards, and put it inside his present. If you also use that as the 'from to' card it will look more natural.

My mum never said she loved me or ever hugged me. She didn't/doesn't believe in 'emotion', but it did affect me. I felt as if I'd missed out. I'm the opposite, and I've always told my kids I love them, and plenty of hugs, which I think are important. They're grown up now, and open like me, except for one daughter, who has taken after my mum, and no emotion at all, and everyone at arm's length.

Candy

Pechow

I don't recall my Dad ever saying it to me, he surely must have at some point, but if so I don't know when. Very, very rarely, he'll write "love Dad" at the end of a very rare text, and that's it. I wish he would say it once or twice (and generally it feels like he doesn't know how to react to me now I'm all grown up and moved out, which is saddening) but I know he feels it from the way he acts. So while it would be nice to hear it, I don't begrudge him, it's the way he is and I'm okay with that.

On the other side, my Mum is much more emotional and showing it, and says she loves me at the end of every phonecall. I find it very hard to say the words myself-partly because of bad memories and feelings from how she used to treat me, and partly it's just my own nature (plus I have Asperger's, which may also be a factor). But despite how I feel, I know how much it means to her-so every so often I bite the bullet and say it back to her, because I know it makes her happy, even though it's very hard for me to do and I don't know why.

So anecdotes over... I'm sure your son knows, but would be thrilled if you could occasionally say it for his sake every now and then, maybe also at the end of a text or phonecall so it's more casual and not so difficult for you

Blue_Monkey

Kermit, could you just say to your son something along the kinds of "it's recently dawned on me that I don't often tell you I love you and it's been playing on my mind. I like to think you automatically know that I do and that you don't need me to tell you as such but I just wanted to make sure that you do know that I do".

baza52

!!!!!! get his number, get yourself drunk and call/txt or voicemail.