Oh lord, what do I do?!

doodoot

Hope this doesn't turn into a long post and that it makes sense...

So, I'm a mature student at Uni and in my final year.

During the past couple of years familiar faces have appeared in my classes and I've formed some lovely friendships with a couple of people.

However, there is one lad in his twenties who seems to be a bit of a problem.

This semester we are in two classes together, and as we're the only smokers we tend to go down together to smoker's corner.

He has some emotional problems and a temper if he can't articulate in class what he wants to say, and on one occasion I've seen him throw a chair across the room in anger.

I've tried to keep some distance as I'm sure as anything he has borderline schizophrenia - my brother has this illness and I can see similarities with this lad.

A week ago he started to bombard me with texts and emails which were of a paranoid nature about a tutor and about his depressive states - he believes he is being held back in is marks by tutors who are jealous of his genius.

In Monday's class he was rude to the tutor, walked out and then sent me a rambling text message.

Up til that time I was trying to keep replies to an absolute minimum and told him to get advice from his learning mentor.

On Tuesday he responded to my Facebook status in a nasty way - he thought it was directed at him even though it was obviously not - he sent more texts and I ignored them.

Unfortunately I had a class yesterday with him and according to my friend he stared at me menacingly for the whole three hours, but made no attempt to speak to me.

Afterwards he spoke to my friend about what's going on between us in a way that sounded like we were in a relationship - apparently he's giving me breathing space until I come back to him. :huh:

My tutors are aware of the situation - he has been bombarding them with messages/calls too - and thankfully they have said that if things escalate that they will support me.

But now I'm in a quandary...I have another seven weeks left this semester, and will have to spend six hours each week in his company.

Does anyone have any advice on how best to treat this lad?

If he is schizophrenic then my ignoring him could possibly reinforce is paranoia, and if I become friendly again then he will start bombarding me again.

Argh...I didn't enrol at Uni for this!!! :mad:

thegirlintheattic

If he is being rude to tutors and throwing things across the room I would be expecting the university to be following disciplinary action.

j.e.j.

You are right, OP, he doesn't sound well.

I think the first thing I'd be doing in your situation is talking to the person at uni who is your point of contact for your academic/personal welfare. Or failing that, if you are feeling threatened by him, put something in writing to your head of dept?

Do you know his relatives, by any chance? Just wondering if you could let them know what's been happening.

CH27

Make sure you are never alone with him.
Block him from Facebook. Ignore his messages.

Lotus-eater

You stay with a friend the entire time, you don't go smoking with him, you don't look at him, you don't talk to him.
You tell all the tutors what is going on.

Is there not a student liaison officer or something you could talk to?

Spartacus_Mills

CH27 wrote: »

Make sure you are never alone with him.
Block him from Facebook. Ignore his messages.

More than that, this could be quite serious.

I would also suggest a quiet word, on an off the record basis with either the tutor or any mentors that are at the Uni to get some help.

Certainly do not let this person cause you anxiety or affect your learning.

RAS

Are there more than one set for the two classes that you are in? If so, can you move tutorial group etc to reduce contact?

Consider talking to your Student Union Welfare rep and please speak to your personal tutor urgently.

victory

Don't go smoking with him, tell someone, show them the texts and the emails, do not reply to them, keep your distance

Li0nhead

Sound like its time to quit smoking.

red_devil

doodoot wrote: »

Hope this doesn't turn into a long post and that it makes sense...

So, I'm a mature student at Uni and in my final year.

During the past couple of years familiar faces have appeared in my classes and I've formed some lovely friendships with a couple of people.

However, there is one lad in his twenties who seems to be a bit of a problem.

This semester we are in two classes together, and as we're the only smokers we tend to go down together to smoker's corner.

He has some emotional problems and a temper if he can't articulate in class what he wants to say, and on one occasion I've seen him throw a chair across the room in anger.

I've tried to keep some distance as I'm sure as anything he has borderline schizophrenia - my brother has this illness and I can see similarities with this lad.

A week ago he started to bombard me with texts and emails which were of a paranoid nature about a tutor and about his depressive states - he believes he is being held back in is marks by tutors who are jealous of his genius.

In Monday's class he was rude to the tutor, walked out and then sent me a rambling text message.

Up til that time I was trying to keep replies to an absolute minimum and told him to get advice from his learning mentor.

On Tuesday he responded to my Facebook status in a nasty way - he thought it was directed at him even though it was obviously not - he sent more texts and I ignored them.

Unfortunately I had a class yesterday with him and according to my friend he stared at me menacingly for the whole three hours, but made no attempt to speak to me.

Afterwards he spoke to my friend about what's going on between us in a way that sounded like we were in a relationship - apparently he's giving me breathing space until I come back to him. :huh:

My tutors are aware of the situation - he has been bombarding them with messages/calls too - and thankfully they have said that if things escalate that they will support me.

But now I'm in a quandary...I have another seven weeks left this semester, and will have to spend six hours each week in his company.

Does anyone have any advice on how best to treat this lad?

If he is schizophrenic then my ignoring him could possibly reinforce is paranoia, and if I become friendly again then he will start bombarding me again.

Argh...I didn't enrol at Uni for this!!! :mad:

dont go to smokers corner with anyone then you cant get too involved with anyone.

Lil_Me_2

RAS wrote: »

Are there more than one set for the two classes that you are in? If so, can you move tutorial group etc to reduce contact?

Consider talking to your Student Union Welfare rep and please speak to your personal tutor urgently.

This would be my suggestion too. If there are alternative seminar groups then request to move into them. I'd also make it very clear to the Uni about what's happening, get it written down on record. You don't want it to affect your studying and if it does then they should be more lenient with you.

I work at a uni and we've had requests in the past that x and y should never be timetabled into the same classes and we always make sure that this happens so also worth trying to see about doing this too.